I was going through my twitter account, and remembered I write puns when I have writer’s block. Hopefully this counts.
My daughter is learning how to write numbers...
She said to my wife, “Mommy, I don’t remember how to do a 2.”
So I yelled out, “You just sit on the potty and push!”
They both ignored me. So now you all get to appreciate my joke instead.
Why did Karl Marx write in all lowercase letters?
Because he hated capitalism
I’ve got a pen that can write underwater…
It can write other words too ! 😄
Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
Scientists invented a pen that writes underwater.
It writes lots of other words too.
I'm starting to write a book about a tornado disaster
It's just a draft at the moment.
My friend writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter. Or sew it seams.
When did Paul McCartney write “Silly Love Songs”?
Why do communists only write in lowercase?
I asked my dyslexic dad to write down his favourite quote.
It read: "Make love, not raw."
I laughed.
Until he clarified that he hadn't made any spelling errors.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
People who write with fountain pens exude big bic energy.
While shopping for school supplies I came across a pen that can write underwater.
It can write other words as well.
Why should you never write with a broken pencil?
What do you call people who get paid to read and write simple stories?
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I wanted to write a poem about snow
But I couldn't make it Rime
I was going to write this joke in Pig Latin...
But it wouldn’t be kosher.
In Soviet union you were not allowed to write with your left hand. That isn't right!
What do you call a truck driver who knows a lot about the truck but can't read or write fluently?
I'm a teacher and every day I write a Dad Joke from this sub on the board. Today a student said this to me... I was about to go off... before I got the Dad Joke.
Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"
Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*
Me: "Well played."
How does Dracula write his novels?
How do you write a sequel for a pun?
When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"
I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"
Why should you write “republican” in lower case?
Because they don’t deserve to be anywhere near the capital.
Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...
My son asked me for something hard to write on
I don't know why he got so mad, sand is pretty hard to write on
i write letters on my feets
My wife said, “Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”
I said, “That’s.....a novel idea.”
You’re never wrong when you write
Frogs shouldn't write cheques.
My therapist told me to write letters to people I hated and then burn them.
I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.
I WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS...
THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.
What do you call a social media influencer who can also write code?
My pen can write underwater
It can also write many other words too
I have a pen that can write underwater
It can write other words too
My pen writes underwater
And it can also write other words too
I bought a pen that can write underwater
... it can write other words as well.
I have a pen that can write underwater
It can write other stuff too.
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
I own a pen that can write underwater.
It can write other words too.
I have a pen that can write underwater.
It can write other words too.
I tried to write with a broken pencil
I just got this amazing pen that can write underwater!
It can write other words, too.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I own a pen that can write underwater.
It can write other words too.
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