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︎ Nov 26 2015
Turkey Day
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I was at the store with my wife picking out a turkey and she seemed unimpressed by the size. She asked "do they get any bigger?"
I looked her in the eyes and replied "no honey, they're dead."
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︎ Nov 02 2020
The turkey goes "Gobble Gobble"
I love it when food comes with instructions.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
What do bears in Turkey say when they see tourists in sleeping bags?
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︎ Feb 20 2021
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks. B'boom tsh!
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︎ Jan 06 2021
What is the most musical part of a turkey ?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
A Whole turkey was eaten by Leroy Sane.
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︎ Jan 20 2021
I got home from work angry and tired, so I asked my wife if she could make turkey and duck for dinner.
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Yup I quit cold turkey last month.
Warmed in the microwave is so much better.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
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︎ Nov 26 2020
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a ghost?
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︎ Nov 24 2020
Why do turkeys eat so little?
Because theyβre always stuffed
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︎ Nov 25 2020
What did the Turkey say after its leg got bitten off
βLost my leg in βnomβ
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︎ Nov 26 2020
For this yearβs Thanksgiving, I decided to shoot my own turkey.
Everyone at the frozen food aisle started freaking out though.
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Shit my first turkey this morning.
Scared the daylights out of the people in the frozen food section
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︎ Oct 24 2020
What do you call a running turkey?
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︎ Nov 23 2020
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for everybody.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Turkey walks into a bar. The bartender looks a little confused and asks "who are you?" Turkey replied "I'm a wild turkey." Bartender replied "oh we have a drink named after you!"
Turkey says "blulululu awesome, bring me a Kevin!"
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Did you hear that I won the Thanksgiving turkey cookoff?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 25 2020
What do you call more turkeys than you can count?
A Gobbillion. Happy thanksgiving!
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course it can! A building canβt jump at all!
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︎ Nov 17 2020
The only things turkeys are good for
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︎ Nov 19 2020
What is the truth about all those Thanksgiving turkey jokes?
They are just a bunch of tomfoolery.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Driving the neighborhood, I told my son we would use the odometer to measure out our Turkey Trot 5k
> Son: It's gonna take a lot of yard sticks.
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︎ Nov 29 2020
I went to the deli the other day to get sliced turkey, but I was upset when I got there,
because everyone else before me went ham on it.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
What do you call someone who is kind of from turkey
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 14 2020
What do you get when you cross a Turkey and a Centipede?
The best Thanksgiving ever
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Happy turkey day everyone.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
Sent my dad a picture of animals gathered on a hill. βWild turkeys?β βNine deer, dad!β....
βI didnβt know you spoke German!β he replied
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︎ Oct 16 2020
What do you call a Peach and Turkey Pie?
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 06 2020
An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says
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︎ Feb 04 2020
I shot my first turkey today...
Scared the heck out of everyone else in the frozen food section.
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︎ Apr 24 2020
This morning, after a long night of binging, I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I saw my haggard, worn-out body and overcome with emotion I realised that for the sake of my family I had to quit cold turkey.
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldnβt Bolivia!
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︎ Jun 27 2020
IF RUSSIA INVADED TURKEY FROM THE REAR...WOULD GREECE HELP
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︎ Apr 21 2020
What did the turkey say during Thanksgiving?
It was too stuffed to say anything.
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︎ Jun 14 2020
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
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︎ May 24 2020
"Time flies even if Turkeys don't"
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︎ Apr 10 2020
Why did US army attack turkey?
Because it was Thanksgiving.
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︎ May 29 2020
If Chile and Turkey had a war...
Would that be a recipe for disaster?
Would Greece get involved?
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︎ Feb 06 2020
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo ?
A turkey that can pluck itself.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
How does a turkey eat his lunch?
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︎ Sep 01 2020
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