A wild turkey chased me into my truck last week.
Pretty fowl attitude if you ask me.
I got a bottle of organic apple juice that said “concentrate from Turkey”
Wouldn’t that make it... turkey juice?
Why was the Turkey late for dinner.
He was busy getting dressed.
Didja know that in Turkey they have a social networking dedicated to red hats?
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because the chickens weren't around
I was at the store with my wife picking out a turkey and she seemed unimpressed by the size. She asked "do they get any bigger?"
I looked her in the eyes and replied "no honey, they're dead."
The turkey goes "Gobble Gobble"
I love it when food comes with instructions.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks. B'boom tsh!
I got home from work angry and tired, so I asked my wife if she could make turkey and duck for dinner.
What is the most musical part of a turkey ?
A Whole turkey was eaten by Leroy Sane.
Yup I quit cold turkey last month.
Warmed in the microwave is so much better.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a ghost?
Why do turkeys eat so little?
Because they’re always stuffed
What did the Turkey say after its leg got bitten off
Shit my first turkey this morning.
Scared the daylights out of the people in the frozen food section
For this year’s Thanksgiving, I decided to shoot my own turkey.
Everyone at the frozen food aisle started freaking out though.
What do you call a running turkey?
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for everybody.
Turkey walks into a bar. The bartender looks a little confused and asks "who are you?" Turkey replied "I'm a wild turkey." Bartender replied "oh we have a drink named after you!"
Turkey says "blulululu awesome, bring me a Kevin!"
Did you hear that I won the Thanksgiving turkey cookoff?
What do you call more turkeys than you can count?
A Gobbillion. Happy thanksgiving!
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course it can! A building can’t jump at all!
The only things turkeys are good for
Driving the neighborhood, I told my son we would use the odometer to measure out our Turkey Trot 5k
> Son: It's gonna take a lot of yard sticks.
What is the truth about all those Thanksgiving turkey jokes?
They are just a bunch of tomfoolery.
I went to the deli the other day to get sliced turkey, but I was upset when I got there,
because everyone else before me went ham on it.
What do you call someone who is kind of from turkey
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Happy turkey day everyone.
What do you get when you cross a Turkey and a Centipede?
The best Thanksgiving ever
An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says
Sent my dad a picture of animals gathered on a hill. “Wild turkeys?” “Nine deer, dad!”....
“I didn’t know you spoke German!” he replied
What do you call a Peach and Turkey Pie?
I shot my first turkey today...
Scared the heck out of everyone else in the frozen food section.
This morning, after a long night of binging, I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I saw my haggard, worn-out body and overcome with emotion I realised that for the sake of my family I had to quit cold turkey.
IF RUSSIA INVADED TURKEY FROM THE REAR...WOULD GREECE HELP
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
What did the turkey say during Thanksgiving?
It was too stuffed to say anything.
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
"Time flies even if Turkeys don't"
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo ?
A turkey that can pluck itself.
How does a turkey eat his lunch?