πŸ‘︎ 191
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
🚨︎ report
A wild turkey chased me into my truck last week.

Pretty fowl attitude if you ask me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baron_von_Nipple
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
I got a bottle of organic apple juice that said β€œconcentrate from Turkey”

Wouldn’t that make it... turkey juice?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AfterEffectserror
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
Why was the Turkey late for dinner.

He was busy getting dressed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuggeybug
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
Turkey Day
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe-knail
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Didja know that in Turkey they have a social networking dedicated to red hats?

It's called FezBook.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Why did the turkey cross the road?

Because the chickens weren't around

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
I was at the store with my wife picking out a turkey and she seemed unimpressed by the size. She asked "do they get any bigger?"

I looked her in the eyes and replied "no honey, they're dead."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The turkey goes "Gobble Gobble"

I love it when food comes with instructions.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?

Because it had drumsticks. B'boom tsh!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cruffmusic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
I got home from work angry and tired, so I asked my wife if she could make turkey and duck for dinner.

I was in a fowl mood.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Claytonjdawson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most musical part of a turkey ?

The drumstick

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
A Whole turkey was eaten by Leroy Sane.

Now, it’s insane.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bekicaga
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
Yup I quit cold turkey last month.

Warmed in the microwave is so much better.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a ghost?

A poultrygeist!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do turkeys eat so little?

Because they’re always stuffed

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SZT2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Turkey say after its leg got bitten off

β€œLost my leg in β€˜nom”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlessedThree_2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Shit my first turkey this morning.

Scared the daylights out of the people in the frozen food section

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boreddudemo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
For this year’s Thanksgiving, I decided to shoot my own turkey.

Everyone at the frozen food aisle started freaking out though.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a running turkey?

Fast food!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an octopus?

Enough drumsticks for everybody.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/specklesinc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Turkey walks into a bar. The bartender looks a little confused and asks "who are you?" Turkey replied "I'm a wild turkey." Bartender replied "oh we have a drink named after you!"

Turkey says "blulululu awesome, bring me a Kevin!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that I won the Thanksgiving turkey cookoff?

You Butterball-ieve it!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emu_on_the_Loose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call more turkeys than you can count?

A Gobbillion. Happy thanksgiving!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course it can! A building can’t jump at all!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The only things turkeys are good for

Are turdoors

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonnysoncere
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Driving the neighborhood, I told my son we would use the odometer to measure out our Turkey Trot 5k

> Son: It's gonna take a lot of yard sticks.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the truth about all those Thanksgiving turkey jokes?

They are just a bunch of tomfoolery.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the deli the other day to get sliced turkey, but I was upset when I got there,

because everyone else before me went ham on it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agsederq
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who is kind of from turkey

Turk-ish

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cytuit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn't chicken!

Happy turkey day everyone.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chasethesoundguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a Turkey and a Centipede?

The best Thanksgiving ever

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tikifire86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says

Wait, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 671
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo ?

A turkey that can pluck itself.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Sent my dad a picture of animals gathered on a hill. β€œWild turkeys?” β€œNine deer, dad!”....

β€œI didn’t know you spoke German!” he replied

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/polkadotmcgot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Peach and Turkey Pie?

A Peach Gobbler.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a turkey eat his lunch?

Gobble gobble gobble

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geoswede
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I shot my first turkey today...

Scared the heck out of everyone else in the frozen food section.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
This morning, after a long night of binging, I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I saw my haggard, worn-out body and overcome with emotion I realised that for the sake of my family I had to quit cold turkey.

I'm going vegan today.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
IF RUSSIA INVADED TURKEY FROM THE REAR...WOULD GREECE HELP
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sK197666
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.

Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MogolianShrimp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the turkey say during Thanksgiving?

It was too stuffed to say anything.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?

He was a goblin

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
"Time flies even if Turkeys don't"

-Barack Obama

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report

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