What a chicken.
Looks like I'm going to have to quit cold turkey.
as I can no longer make hens meet!
He quit cold turkey
Upon hearing the news, his neighbours and other farm owners decide to chip in to help him through a tough time.
With high hopes and heavy pockets, they reach Mr. Jones' farmhouse, only to see him merrily sipping lemonade on the porch. Confused, a person from the horde asks him, "Aren't you devastated?"
To which the farmer says,
No ham, no fowl
The second I arrived his chickens started to attack me.
He fought them off and said, “Sorry about them. They’re jerk chickens.”
A chick magnate
It just smells so fowl.
Co-worker and I were talking about his contract here, and if he's heard anything about the position here at work. He told me he hasn't, but that he has some other interviews coming up.
"I don't want to keep all my eggs in one basket" he tells me.
"That's right." I reply. "You should keep them in the fridge so they don't spoil!"
Judges said it was poultry in motion.
Now I Think I’m getting haunted by a poultrygeist
I said his concerns are poultry.
It's poultry in motion!
He wrote poultry for her.
It’s poultry in motion
Because it is poultry in motion
but it was poultry in motion.
He said the pay was too poultry.
I had so much fun I pulled a muscle
and now I am eggsausted
Hey guys. As I'm sure most of you know, it's currently Thanksgiving in Canada. This time of year for me has, in the past, caused a lot of issues in my life.
To give a little bit of background on me, I'm usually an extremely healthy and fit guy, as I play high-level sports and have a physically demanding job. However, for much of my life, my willpower began to crumble around this time of year.
I first started taking my diet seriously when I was about 12 years old. I had some kind of realization where like, I dunno, I started looking at how jacked these movie stars were and was all, "wow, I want to be that cool too." Judging by the bowl cut I had when I was 12, my perception of cool may have been a little skewed, but I digress.
Anyhow, it was my first Thanksgiving where everything started falling apart. One of my relative's families ended up no-showing for dinner, so we were left with a load of Thanksgiving leftovers. For the next week, every single meal or snack I had was Thanksgivin... keep reading on reddit ➡
I could never agree to sell them for such a poultry sum.
Poultry in motion.
It was a poultry geist
I don't know but it was a poultry sum.
Courtesy of my father while eating rotisserie chicken.
Must have been a poultry-geist...
To watch her dance was like poultry in motion.
Which is a pretty good deal for those on a poultry wage.
He placed 30 silver coins as a bounty, and was peeved after a month had passed and nobody had taken the offer. He inquired to his squire, who responded that nobody would undergo such an unpleasant pheasant hunt for such a poultry sum.
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To... keep reading on reddit ➡
It's pure poultry in motion
There's no such thing as a poultry crime! (Stolen from a hero dad in country Australia http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/give-me-the-bloody-chicken-hero-dad-thwarts-chook-thief-outside-coles-20180109-h0fl5g.html )
Poultry in motion.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said t
Just sitting around watching tv, and put this one together on a commercial break.
> Q: What do you call the angry ghost of a turkey? > >A: A poultry-geist