πŸ‘︎ 273
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrackedP0t
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
🚨︎ report
I took a job as the head of Old McDonald’s farm

I’m the CIEIO

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Punshine
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
How do you get a farm girl to like you?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-MEGA-O
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Farm machinery nerd

Man who has been going to the same bar for years tells his drinking buddies that he has decided to travel the world to view every farm tractor ever made. They all know his love for farm machinery and are quite relieved to be getting rid of him as he bores them half to death with his knowledge of tractors. 5 years later the man goes back to the bar after traveling the world seeing every tractor he could find. The barman looks at him and enquires as to why he looks so glum after achieving his life ambition, He explains that seeing every tractor has taken the shine off his hobby and he doesn't want or need to see anymore tractors. Just then there's a loud bang and the bar starts filling with smoke. Everyone is panicking except our man back from his travels who tells everyone to not panic and stand back, he then inhales all the smoke walks outside and blows all the smoke away. His buddies are amazed and ask how he managed to do this amazing feat, He explains. Simple I'm An Ex tractor fan.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orcamarine
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
Whenever we visited my Grampa's dairy farm, there'd be mud and cowpats everywhere, and my Dad would say, "I love dairy farms! Look at the dairy barn, and the dairy cows, and...

"Smell that sweet Dairy Air!"

If the joke's unclear:>!"dairy air" sounds like "derriere"!<

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuddenHedgehogs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
I got let go from the dairy farm.

Apparently I don't work well with udders.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sup_doge
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
What kind of animals do gen Z have on their farms?

Sheeeeeeeeeeeps

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sageyban
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
I’m trying to grow auto parts on my farm.

I’m expecting a bumper crop.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Newbosterone
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Did you hear of the film where a woodcutting cult on a small farm in the south?

It's called the Texas Chainsaw Mass-acre.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
What is the name of farm owned by a vegan lesbian couple?

meatless farm

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/farzammmmm
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm..one turns to the other and says β€œwhat’s your favorite kind of music?”

He replied β€œI’m a big metal fan!”

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maniamadd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
My family used to own a farm with prize winning animals

The cows were udderly awesome.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
One time on a road trip we drove through Iowa and stopped at a farm around harvest time. I tried to speak to the farmer about buying some fresh corn 🌽 but he had no time for me.

β€œSorry, mister,” he said. β€œI’m up to my ears in work.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fladavpam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
Because of his enormous debt, Old McDonald has to sell his farm.

To cover what he e-i-e-i owes.

πŸ‘︎ 445
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
Swiper went swiping at a farm and mistakenly stole the farmer’s daughter.

He thought she was a Dora bull.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call a farm that tells bad jokes?

Corny.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
What do you call a lizard that farms whale food?

A cold-blooded kriller!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DripSquirt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My farm implements have been stolen. I was distractored.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call the boss at Old McDonald's Farm ?

The CIEIO

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a farm?

Squashed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
My father died and requested to be buried at a specific farm.

He always told us one day he'd be a dead beet Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dej0ta
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
I visited a sheep farm last week.

It wasn’t that baahhh-d.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slapbracelet1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
Used to never be able to use the wifi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.

Now I have a stable connection.

πŸ‘︎ 217
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought I could hear Tubular Bells on my farm this winter...

But it was just my cold field.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
So I used to own a rabbit farm.

You know I would raise these super cute fluffy bunnies!

People would always ask me how it was: was it relaxing, fun, nice, a bore etc...?

I would always respond that it was honestly terrifying, like really scary.

People in bewilderment would always say: "what? scary? how can that be??"

I would respond: "well, it was hare raising"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pilp147
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
What is a half-life fan's favorite piece of farm equipment?

A combine.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Doom_Slayer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
This sub is like a dairy farm

I’ve herd it all before

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when all the cows the dairy farm go mad?

Udder Chaos

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwaldrip
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
A farm sheep was bleating weirdly one day.

It’s owner could not believe the weird bleats the sheep was making,

so he asked out loud sheepishly in frustration:

β€œwhat the hell was that!?”

β€œYou herd me” - the sheep replied.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thicklog7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...

It's a mootual fund.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Who always gets blamed for letting the farm animals out of their pens?

The escapegoat.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cd1cj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A man and his son had a farm, but things weren't going too well.

The son said "I think we need to start growing something other than just wheat" and started naming fruits and vegetables.

"I think you're right, kiddo" said the man.

He went over to one of the haybales and started grabbing fistfuls of it. He spread it out and then started covering it with dirt.

"Dad, what are you doing?" asked the son, confused.

"I'm making straw-buries".

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Findrel_Underbakk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a farm that sells chickens and pigs?

A chicken, bacon, ranch

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Inevitable_Rough
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A sheep wakes up to find that she's at a completely different farm.

None of the other sheep seem alarmed, so she goes and asks another sheep what's going on.

"Oh, haven't you herd?"

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slekrons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Operating a solar farm is probably easy

After all, it's a light crop

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?

A laughing stock!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spicoli0525
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Old McDonald had a farm

On he's farm he had some weed

He high,he high, Oh

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
"Old McDonald had a farm...."

Sang the happy repossession man.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
We have superior cows on our farm.

They are out standing in the field.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What area of mathematics are farm animals proficient?

Cowculus

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainMoist23
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know how to get a farm girl to like you?

Simple, A tractor!

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?

First, a tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asiers
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?

Fertilizer.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 183
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a failed dairy farm?

An udder disaster

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfiniteElway
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report

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