I’m the CIEIO
Man who has been going to the same bar for years tells his drinking buddies that he has decided to travel the world to view every farm tractor ever made. They all know his love for farm machinery and are quite relieved to be getting rid of him as he bores them half to death with his knowledge of tractors. 5 years later the man goes back to the bar after traveling the world seeing every tractor he could find. The barman looks at him and enquires as to why he looks so glum after achieving his life ambition, He explains that seeing every tractor has taken the shine off his hobby and he doesn't want or need to see anymore tractors. Just then there's a loud bang and the bar starts filling with smoke. Everyone is panicking except our man back from his travels who tells everyone to not panic and stand back, he then inhales all the smoke walks outside and blows all the smoke away. His buddies are amazed and ask how he managed to do this amazing feat, He explains. Simple I'm An Ex tractor fan.
"Smell that sweet Dairy Air!"
If the joke's unclear:>!"dairy air" sounds like "derriere"!<
Apparently I don't work well with udders.
I’m expecting a bumper crop.
Simple, A tractor!
It's called the Texas Chainsaw Mass-acre.
He replied “I’m a big metal fan!”
The cows were udderly awesome.
“Sorry, mister,” he said. “I’m up to my ears in work.”
First, a tractor.
To cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
He thought she was a Dora bull.
A cold-blooded kriller!
Now I have stable wifi.
He was a danger to himself and udders.
He always told us one day he'd be a dead beet Dad.
It wasn’t that baahhh-d.
Now I have a stable connection.
But it was just my cold field.
You know I would raise these super cute fluffy bunnies!
People would always ask me how it was: was it relaxing, fun, nice, a bore etc...?
I would always respond that it was honestly terrifying, like really scary.
People in bewilderment would always say: "what? scary? how can that be??"
I would respond: "well, it was hare raising"
I’ve herd it all before
It’s owner could not believe the weird bleats the sheep was making,
so he asked out loud sheepishly in frustration:
“what the hell was that!?”
“You herd me” - the sheep replied.
It's a mootual fund.
An udder disaster
The son said "I think we need to start growing something other than just wheat" and started naming fruits and vegetables.
"I think you're right, kiddo" said the man.
He went over to one of the haybales and started grabbing fistfuls of it. He spread it out and then started covering it with dirt.
"Dad, what are you doing?" asked the son, confused.
"I'm making straw-buries".
A chicken, bacon, ranch
None of the other sheep seem alarmed, so she goes and asks another sheep what's going on.
"Oh, haven't you herd?"
After all, it's a light crop
A laughing stock!!!!
On he's farm he had some weed
He high,he high, Oh
Sang the happy repossession man.
They are out standing in the field.