How do you win the heart of a female Farmer?
Why did the farmer fall in the well?
Because he didn’t see that well.
Why are there no unemployed farmers?
They can get a job in any field.
A farmer said to me “I have 68 sheep. Can you help round them up for me?”
Sheepdog: All 40 sheep are accounted for, boss. Farmer: But I only had 39?
Sheepdog: Yeah I know, but I rounded them up!
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
A farmer was bringing his cows in from the fields ...
and he counted 396 of them.
But once he rounded them all up, he had 400.
When does a farmer dance?
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...
What did the farmer yell to the shepherds who ran away after their flocks ate all his grass?
There was once a old grape farmer, who had gone through many droughts. When his grapes had fallen and dried out, all he could say was....
Everything happens for a raisin.
How do farmers measure land?
The farmer decided to become a DJ...
... while he was putting down some sick beets!
Why was the farmer arrested at the gym ?
He was destroying his calves
Old Farmer: If you want your crops to grow, you must remember to fertilize your land properly.
New guy: That sounds like bullshit.
Farmer: Yes, exactly.
Why did the farmer fall down the well?
He couldn’t see that well.
What does the farmer say to the cows at night?
How does a farmer count his herd?
I had to go find my kid in a farmers field
My kid said, "Why did you come and get me?"
Me: "Its pasture bed time."
Why was the farmer afraid to rescue the cow from on top of the barn?
The steaks were too high.
What do you call a slutty farmer?
I once met a polygamous farmer.
He had a concubine harvester.
I invited the local farmer and his horse to my son's birthday party
They quickly became the centaur of attention
Ancient farmers lived by one rule
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
How did the farmer find his wife?
What did the herb farmer say when he was running behind schedule?
I asked my farmer friend, “Can you explain how I can gamble using farm animals?”
He said, “You bet your ass.”
Why did the farmer need such a long AUX cable for?
To tie his ox
Joke by my 9 year old brother
What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?
Why couldn't the farmer find his cow?
Because it was "camooflaged"
Hi! What do you call a physically fit grains farmer?
A cow asked his farmer “What do you do?”
So he asks again, “What do you do?!”
Slightly agitated the cow again asks “WHAT DO YOU DO?!”
The farmer blurts “I HERD YOU!”
What do you call a farmer that raises hens?
What did the city man think to the farmer preparing fertilize?
As a farmer, I hear lots of jokes about sheep...
I’d tell them to my dog but he’d herd them all
How did the farmer find his missing wife?
Police have issued an appeal after receiving complaints from farmers that their Cows are being stolen during the night...
Apparently they are looking for a man with a big moo-stash.
Why did the farmer get pulled over after planting his field?
How does the farmer remember the names of all his chickens?
He writes them down in his book book book.
Why will you never find a farmer in jail?
They can always make bale.
What’s a Wall Street farmer’s favorite thing to invest in?
A farmer goes into a bar
A farmer goes into a bar and says "please help I just ran out of fertilizer" a man then yells at him "why should I give a shit"
Did you hear about the Dairy Farmer who always worked late?
He was udderly exhausted.
How did the farmer find his wife?