How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down.

πŸ‘︎ 235
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Milspec1974
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10
🚨︎ report
I too am supportive of farmers
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he found three holes in his field?

Well, well, well.

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
How does the farmer remember the names of all his chickens?

He writes them down in his book book book.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
A farmer takes a rest on a bale of hay. β€œI love my job” he says aloud. A sheep replies β€œAll you do is boss me around all day!” The farmer, clearly upset by this statement, responds β€œWhat did you just say??” The sheep replies:

β€œYou herd me.”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shawmpton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Support your farmers
πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs110466
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
[OC] What did the farmer say when he got a headache from people stealing his wheat

My grains!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMeowMeow
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
I told my daughter I wasn’t going to make a joke about the farmers crops

It would be corny anyway

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jcmatthews66
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer win an award?

Because he was out standing in his field!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gandalf2024
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
What Kind of clothes does a farmer wear?

Crop-top.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dangerzone06
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
Farmer A sells apples, Farmer B sells bananas, what does Farmer C sell?

Medications

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
What did one Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?

Cool ranch!

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spicoli0525
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
A neighbor who's a hog farmer just showed me his brand new enclosures for his piggies...

I wish he'd stop flaunting his new shoes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the farmer who won the award?

They said he was out standing in his field

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krezgobop
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theProbablyPolicy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
Farmer for life.
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
My step-dad came up with this so hope it counts. What do you call a gay farmer?

A jolly rancher

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xianthamist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
I have a farmer friend who heats his milk products to 212 degrees Fahrenheit using cow chips...

Yep. It's called pasture-ized milk.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
Wheat farmer headaches (stole this one)
πŸ‘︎ 555
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe-knail
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
Cow farmers say their job is hard, but...

...I think they're just milking it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigdickcorrine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
Farmers notice : Public access to this field and footpath is free.

.. But the Bull charges.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
My dairy farmer friend is always complaining about how little money he makes.

I think he’s just milking it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
Why was the man smiling after the farmer gave him a chicken?

because he was pheasantly supplied

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cauterberri
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer get kids?

He plowed his wife!

I just thought if this when I read another joke on here. Sorry if it is too r/unclejokes but at least it oc.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arnault1981
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
As a farmer, your tractor dying while harvesting isn't all bad.

You can tell people you are outstanding in your field.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Itsmydouginabox
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the farmer...

That got the John Deere letter?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer keep putting spools of thread into the gas tank of his tractor?

Someone told him it was a sowing machine.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
In a village, far far away, two farmers often had a competition within themselves to see who harvests the most every 6 months.

After failing to win for about 9 times in a row, Jaime, hired a spy who will go and check Jack's harvest the night before the contest so he can harvest more. As the spy came back the night before, he informed the farmer Jaime about the amount that he saw inside Jack's yard but he was not able to tell the amount in exact. Jaime took the spy to his paddy field, gave him some extra money than what they initially agreed upon and said...

"You reap what you saw".

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiSatthar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
Why did the corn farmer win the Nobel Peace Prize?

For his dedication to world hominy

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatjamoco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow farmer quit?

He was tired of smelling dairy air

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iuhoosiers4ike
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
The farmer decided to cook the meanest cow he had

It made excellent jerky!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
What did the zombie farmer say he wanted?

Grrraaaaiiinnns...

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
A farmer won a competition. When he was told he won, he was so surprised.

They say he was outstanding in his own field.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChungaChunga06
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
Why are farmers always angry?

Because they're part of the agro-culture!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Valenshyne
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
We just bought a painting by a farmer who only creates art of cows and horses.

His name is Oscar Moo-neigh.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Duzervee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
I recently gave a large sum of money to a corn farmer

It was a major stalk investment

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tim_the_Tool_Man
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
β€ͺWhat did the farmer say to his fellow farmer when they bought another bird?‬

This swan’s on me‬

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Dad: Did you hear the joke about farmer brown? Me: No

Dad: Well maybe I’ll tell you someday

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PublicThinker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about all the hens attacking the farmer inside the hen house?

It was a chicken coup.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
A Scandinavian farmer...

A Scandinavian farmer discovered that brewing herbs and spices and mixing it with some sugar made for an excellent and healthy way to start the day.

He called it Svede tea

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
My farmer friend is moving, so he had to give up his horses for adoption.

They are now being raised in a stable environment.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
How can you tell when a farmer is really good at what he does?

When he's outstanding in his field

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LargeBigHuge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the farmer?

He’s outstanding in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lazy-Potential
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where’s my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyesandheart
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
A farmer was trying his best to remove his cows from a nearby marijuana plantation

The steaks were high

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Klaus-012
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say while looking for his tractor?

Where’s my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pickledust465
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the shellfish farmer go for a run?

He pulled a mussel.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/telumindel
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
My neighbor is a farmer, I asked him what he spent his stimulus check on

He said he bought baby chickens with it. The farmer got his money for nothing and his chicks for free.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Divine_Squire
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
Why did the wheat farmer's son become a wheat farmer?

It was inGRAINed in his DNA.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ButterPanda888
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Sheepdog: Yep, that’s 40 sheep there. Farmer: What, there should be only 37?

Sheepdog: Hey, I rounded them up!

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
I’m writing a novel about a detail-oriented British pea farmer.

It’s called Mind Your Peas and Queues.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
How does a farmer count his cows?

He uses a COWculater.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thesandman28
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
My farmer friend used his stimulus check to buy new baby chickens.

He got his money for nothin, and his chicks for free

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer do when he lost his wife?

He tractored down.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpazMasterK
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
A sheep dog says to the farmer, "I'm going to round up the sheep."

The dog comes back with 50 sheep. The farmers says, "we only have 48 sheep." The dog replies, "Yea, I told you I was going to round them up."

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NeGuy1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the farmer who accidentally gave his cattle edibles before inspection?

The steaks had never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Testacleez
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
A farmer asked his dad if he could round up his 36 sheep

β€œSure,” said the dad β€œ40.”

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the farmer who won an award for his dedication to his crops?

He was out standing in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSolo1
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
2 Detectives are covering a case with a farmer

Detective 1: explain what happened please

Farmer: someone has been stealing my radishes for the past 2 months!

Detective 1: what do you think detective 2?

Detective 2: idk Beets me...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a farmer is stuck in his house and can’t get out to the fields?

Corn-tine

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Man11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
What do you call an experienced farmer?

An expert in their field!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evac95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
A sheepdog tells the farmer he's going to round up the sheep and comes back with 50 sheep and the farmer says "We only have 48 sheep."

The dog replies "I said I was going to round them up,"

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
How do you get the farmer’s daughter to fall in love with you?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 161
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
Farmers are the best DJs

They can really drop the beet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenwaffleman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
What is the term for when a farmer's cow goes missing?

A missed-steak

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AllanCD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
My friend the farmer traded his tractor for a flock of seabirds...

He's so gull-able!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
Which field do furious farmers work in?

Angriculture

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the farmer who fed his cows birdseed?

He started selling cheep milk

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BabaGanoush47
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
How do you earn a date with a farmers daughter?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WBFY
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Two farmers were talking. "Mate, why do all your sheep have those black stripes on their sides?"

" It's my new counting system, see that special collar on me dog, it's got a camera and it scans the sheep as the dog rounds them up. "

"Damn me, what'll they think of next? What's it called?"

"Baa codes mate"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
My dad wanted me to become a fruit farmer like him but I always told him I was scared to do it.

So he told me to grow a pear.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FilthySef
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A farmer complained that he didn't have enough fruit to make a living

I told him he needs to grow a pear

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A sheep dog tells a farmer, "I've gathered up 40 sheep". The farmer replies, "But we only have 37 sheep?" The dog responds..

"I've rounded them up"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DipNotes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
A crop farmer starts with

seed capital.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cthart
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
You hear about the pig farmer that tried to make it big in Hollywood?

Had to move back home because he had too many poor scenes

**thought of it on the bus ride home, be gentle haha

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirTurkTurkelton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the egg farmer have to fire his funniest employee?

He cracked too many yolks.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stevehrowe2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?

Because he has herd them all.

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the dinosaur eat the farmers ducks and cows?

He wanted quakers and milk

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sitdown4this
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
A wheat farmer has a headache and all his crops disappear

Ahh Migraines!

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did farmer ride his horse to town ?

It was too heavy to carry !

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C0DENAME-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the joke about the farmer selling 24 dozen eggs?

Never mind, it’s two gross.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ladder_of_cheese
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
I want to be a chicken farmer but my chickens always end up dying.

Maybe I'm not planting them deep enough.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/p_9213
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down.

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharkolan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
β€ͺWhat did the farmer say to his fellow farmer when they bought another bird?‬

β€ͺThis swan’s on me‬

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Why did the corn farmer win a Nobel Peace Prize?

Because of his dedication to world hominy.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatjamoco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
Sheep to Farmer: All you do is boss me around all day!

Farmer: What did you say?

Sheep: You herd me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pozd5995
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fdharp0803
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
I’m writing a novel about a detail-oriented British pea farmer.

It’s called Mind Your Peas and Queues.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyesandheart
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
🚨︎ report

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