My 5 year old told me this today - Dad, how does a farmer count all his animals in the barn?
what did the farmer say to the cow at night ?
What did the farmer say when all of his haystacks were stolen?
How was the sheep dog able to retrieve 40 sheeps when the farmer only had 38?
(My Grandma called me just to tell me this one): Why did the farmer bury a lightbulb?
He wanted to grow a power plant
I once fell in love with a melon farmer’s daughter. But when I asked if she wanted to run away and get married in secret, she turned me down.
She told me she cantaloupe.
Did you hear what happened to the dairy farmer?
He got dairy sick, but then he became butter.
A hemp farmer noticed his cows were out in his hemp field.
He wrangled them all back into the pasture. Later he found them all back in his hemp field. It was the pot calling the cattle back.
Why did the farmer choose not to shoot a couple of fawns?
To him, they were just too dear.
What did Tyson do when he saw the poultry farmers daughter?
How do you get a farmer's daughter?
Did you hear about the farmer that just got sentenced for killing his neighbors cow?
After a quick investigation, the Prosecutor was able to turn it into a brief case.
As one of the biggest fruit farmers in the country, I owe all of my success to my dear dad. I grew up as a kid who was scared of everything, and my dad always told me to
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
What did one Dorito farmer say to the other?
A farmer’s son asked why people have celiac disease
The farmer replied “because these people hate my grains”
I want to congratulate all farmers....
They are outstanding in their fields.
A farmer friend of mine recently made a great sci-fi film
It's called Robo-crop starring Wil Wheaton.
How did the farmer find his wife?
How do Farmers greet their cows?
The farmer had a prized bull. It bred 300 times per year.
The farmer's wife said "300 times, isn't that wonderful, dear? Maybe you should watch him. Maybe he'll show you how..." The farmer replied "Yeah, he's a hell of a bull, but it wasn't all with the same cow."
Why wasn’t the honey farmer a straight A student?
He brought home nothing but bees.
Farmers are leaving Facebook in droves. Every time they put down a post
Have you heard the joke about the maize farmer?
Ah, nevermind, it's pretty corny
Why did the farmer get in trouble with his wife?
He visited a seedy establishment.
(by my wife who hates me telling dad jokes but loves to tell any she invents)
Why didn’t the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
How does a farmer reduce the number of cows?
Why did the farmer request a divorce?
Did you hear about the farmer that won an award
He was outstanding in his field.
What did the DJ say to the farmer?
Lettuce turnip our beets!
Why are farmers popular at parties?
Because they’re always dropping the beets
What did the farmer’s wife say to him after he hotboxed the stable?
One time on a road trip we drove through Iowa and stopped at a farm around harvest time. I tried to speak to the farmer about buying some fresh corn 🌽 but he had no time for me.
“Sorry, mister,” he said. “I’m up to my ears in work.”
It was a bad idea to ask the chicken farmer to referee basketball games
I ran over a nail and popped my tire when my wife and I left the farmers market.
I should have bought asparagus.
Why was the farmer given an award for acting as a living scarecrow?
Because he was simply outstanding in his field.
A farmer attempted to tow a load of manure down the interstate at 5 pm. Of course, it caused a crash and traffic jam...
I can't believe he tried to pull this shit!
Why did the farmer buy a cow and a duck? 👨🌾🐄🦆
He wanted milk and quackers!
Swiper went swiping at a farm and mistakenly stole the farmer’s daughter.
He thought she was a Dora bull.
What did the farmer say about his successful scarecrow?
He’s outstanding in his field.
How do you win the heart of a female Farmer?
My neighbor is a farmer and asked for name suggestions for her new born calf that start with the letter J.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
How did the farmer find his wife?
What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?
How did the farmer get his wife?
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