How do you win the heart of a female Farmer?

Attract her.

πŸ‘︎ 216
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πŸ‘€︎ u/digiBeLow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer fall in the well?

Because he didn’t see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robin_Banks77
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are there no unemployed farmers?

They can get a job in any field.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdb12345
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A farmer said to me β€œI have 68 sheep. Can you help round them up for me?”

I said sure. 70.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rfcoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Sheepdog: All 40 sheep are accounted for, boss. Farmer: But I only had 39?

Sheepdog: Yeah I know, but I rounded them up!

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A farmer was bringing his cows in from the fields ...

and he counted 396 of them.

But once he rounded them all up, he had 400.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeattlePunk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
When does a farmer dance?

When the beet drops.

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCraay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œI love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. β€œAll you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. β€œWhat did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...

β€œYou herd me!"

πŸ‘︎ 783
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...

...she was a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hover-lovecraft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer yell to the shepherds who ran away after their flocks ate all his grass?

You cow herds!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
There was once a old grape farmer, who had gone through many droughts. When his grapes had fallen and dried out, all he could say was....

Everything happens for a raisin.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How do farmers measure land?

They use protractors.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chairlegnumber4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The farmer decided to become a DJ...

... while he was putting down some sick beets!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the farmer arrested at the gym ?

He was destroying his calves

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Old Farmer: If you want your crops to grow, you must remember to fertilize your land properly.

New guy: That sounds like bullshit.

Farmer: Yes, exactly.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer fall down the well?

He couldn’t see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Copey85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the farmer say to the cows at night?

It’s pasture bedtime

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a farmer count his herd?

With a Cowculator.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DismalSeagull
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to go find my kid in a farmers field

My kid said, "Why did you come and get me?"

Me: "Its pasture bed time."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the farmer afraid to rescue the cow from on top of the barn?

The steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrunibrowman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a slutty farmer?

A garden hoe.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/motelcoconut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I once met a polygamous farmer.

He had a concubine harvester.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I invited the local farmer and his horse to my son's birthday party

They quickly became the centaur of attention

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TakoBoi123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Ancient farmers lived by one rule

No rain, no gain

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire

He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bacononwaffles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down.

πŸ‘︎ 240
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Milspec1974
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the herb farmer say when he was running behind schedule?

We’re in a thyme crunch

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSquirrelyOne_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my farmer friend, β€œCan you explain how I can gamble using farm animals?”

He said, β€œYou bet your ass.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer need such a long AUX cable for?

To tie his ox

Joke by my 9 year old brother

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?

Where is my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tronkfool
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the farmer find his cow?

Because it was "camooflaged"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rahul_sridhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Hi! What do you call a physically fit grains farmer?

Shredded Wheat

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SonyTrinitrons
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A cow asked his farmer β€œWhat do you do?”

No response.

So he asks again, β€œWhat do you do?!”

No response.

Slightly agitated the cow again asks β€œWHAT DO YOU DO?!”

The farmer blurts β€œI HERD YOU!”

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Millenial
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a farmer that raises hens?

A chicken tender.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the city man think to the farmer preparing fertilize?

What a load of crap!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonBilal074
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
As a farmer, I hear lots of jokes about sheep...

I’d tell them to my dog but he’d herd them all

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his missing wife?

He tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Police have issued an appeal after receiving complaints from farmers that their Cows are being stolen during the night...

Apparently they are looking for a man with a big moo-stash.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/displaynone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer get pulled over after planting his field?

He broke the seed limit

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foamy07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the farmer remember the names of all his chickens?

He writes them down in his book book book.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why will you never find a farmer in jail?

They can always make bale.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lanternkeeper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a Wall Street farmer’s favorite thing to invest in?

Corn Stocks

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A farmer goes into a bar

A farmer goes into a bar and says "please help I just ran out of fertilizer" a man then yells at him "why should I give a shit"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conor5434
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Support your farmers
πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs110466
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Dairy Farmer who always worked late?

He was udderly exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/griffglen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LSUGreg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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