How do you win the heart of a female Farmer?
What did the Farmer say when he saw a painting of his pet Llama?
What did the farmer say when he found out that his tractor was missing?
Do you want to hear a joke about dairy farmers?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
A farmer noticed some cows smoking weed and playing cards
The steaks were getting pretty high
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Cow #1: Remember the first time we were milked by the farmer?
Cow #2: This brings back mammaries.
Why did the farmer fall in the well?
Because he didn’t see that well.
Why are there no unemployed farmers?
They can get a job in any field.
How does a farmer fix a flat tire?
Which dinosaur survived extinction and is now found in farmer's fields?
A farmer said to me “I have 68 sheep. Can you help round them up for me?”
What did the farmer get his wife for Valentine's Day?
A sprinkler system and it irrigated her
Sheepdog: All 40 sheep are accounted for, boss. Farmer: But I only had 39?
Sheepdog: Yeah I know, but I rounded them up!
What did the farmer say upon receiving fodder for his livestock?
'rice and shine, it's new hay!'
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
When does a farmer dance?
The farmer was very concerned when his cows got into his marijuana crop.
A farmer was bringing his cows in from the fields ...
and he counted 396 of them.
But once he rounded them all up, he had 400.
Studies have revealed that cows produce much more milk when the farmers talk to them.
It's a case of, in one ear and out of the uddet
A sheep farmer was having a bad day..
The sheep were all “baaa” then another would reply “baaa” and another “baaa” and on an on “baaa”
Finally the farmer bursts out:
“All right, all right, I herd you!!”
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...
Did you hear about that farmer that hosted a party?
What did the farmer yell to the shepherds who ran away after their flocks ate all his grass?
There was once a old grape farmer, who had gone through many droughts. When his grapes had fallen and dried out, all he could say was....
Everything happens for a raisin.
How do farmers measure land?
The farmer decided to become a DJ...
... while he was putting down some sick beets!
Why was the farmer arrested at the gym ?
He was destroying his calves
Old Farmer: If you want your crops to grow, you must remember to fertilize your land properly.
New guy: That sounds like bullshit.
Farmer: Yes, exactly.
What does the farmer say to the cows at night?
How does a farmer count his herd?
Why was the farmer afraid to rescue the cow from on top of the barn?
The steaks were too high.
How did the farmer find his wife?
Ancient farmers lived by one rule
I had to go find my kid in a farmers field
My kid said, "Why did you come and get me?"
Me: "Its pasture bed time."
What do you call a slutty farmer?
I once met a polygamous farmer.
He had a concubine harvester.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
I invited the local farmer and his horse to my son's birthday party
They quickly became the centaur of attention
What did the herb farmer say when he was running behind schedule?
I asked my farmer friend, “Can you explain how I can gamble using farm animals?”
He said, “You bet your ass.”
Why did the farmer need such a long AUX cable for?
To tie his ox
Joke by my 9 year old brother
Hi! What do you call a physically fit grains farmer?
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Why did the farmer fall down the well?
He couldn’t see that well.
How did the farmer find his wife?
What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?
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