Horse puns good
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Touche5963
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Horse puns...

...yay or neigh?

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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Theese unstable horse puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unoriginal_duck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Horse puns are great
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebeastyboi75
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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An unbridled masterpiece of a horse pun to one of my students this morning. It's a long setup, but dads will appreciate it. This one really happened as written.

So, I'm a Spanish professor, and I gave a final exam this morning. One of the last parts was that students had to write a paragraph using reflexive verbs in which they describe their daily routine. Since the class only had nine students in it, I told them that if they wanted to wait, I would grade their exams for them and tell them their class grade.

It was an open-book final exam (11 pages long), so I was in my office, and a graduating senior finished first and gave me her exam. When I got to her paragraph, I saw that she had written in Spanish that every day she woke up, got up, took a shower, got dressed, brushed her teeth, ate breakfast, and then she and her friend Emmy went horseback riding. Now, I knew that she didn't go horseback riding, ever, but that it was vocabulary from the previous chapter. The following conversation ensued:

Me: Horseback riding? Really?
Her: Yep!
Me: Every day?
Her: Yep!
Me: Every single day?
Her: SΓ­, SeΓ±or.
Me: I guess you could call it a stable routine then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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Horse Puns

Funniest horse puns and jokes

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: β€œHey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: β€œWhat, George?”


A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. β€œEvenin’” says the barman, β€œwhy the long face?”


A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: β€œWait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: β€œThis alright?” The barman says: β€œHmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”


A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: β€œI shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” β€œWhy, what have you got?” β€œAbout Β£2 and a carrot.”


Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours


A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. β€œWill I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: β€œOf course you will, and you’ll probably win!”


Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!


A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.

β€œI’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. β€œWe don’t serve spirits..


A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. β€œExcuse me, good sir,” the horse says, β€œare you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, β€œSorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. β€œWhy would the circus need a bartender?”


Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.


What did the horse say when it fell? β€œI’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”


Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.


Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!


What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!


What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?


What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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Request: Horse Birthday Puns

It's my friend's birthday, I'm trying to think of a clever horse pun to send her for her birthday because she really likes horses. I suck at this, and am a bit dis-trot. Plz help I will love you forever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guzmonster11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
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Pun Request: Horse-related

Our senior quotes are paragraphs this year, and I want to make a paragraph about my horseback riding that's full of horse puns. Can anyone help me out?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/axtumn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
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Funny how in the past everyone owned horses and only the rich owned cars, and now everyone has cars and only the rich have horses...

My how the stables have turned.

Edit: Wow guys, thanks for all the love!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zthazel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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My daughter wants a horse...

But first we need a stable income.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?

The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gambitK9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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A horse broke into my room while I was asleep.

It was a nightmare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinterWolf041
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Heard about the homeless horse?

He was un-stable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EverythingAndNot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"

The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by RenΓ© Descartes.

But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearfeedmitch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Why is a pregnant horse faster than a regular horse?

Because the pregnant one has two horsepower.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/all_joking_aside
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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More and more people are taking up horse breading as a profession

Apparently it's a very stable career choice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moejike
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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What do you call scary horses?

Nightmares

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_black_eyes_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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My new horse’s name is Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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I ordered some hay for my horse on amazon

They wanted the feed back... im never ordering from amazon again πŸ˜‘

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlfieOnSleep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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What does a gay horse eat?

Haaaayyyyy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Why do developers never put horse-drawn carriages in their games?

They can be buggy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/109488
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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What's cookie Monster's favorite horse?

C biscuit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drakens6
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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Why do horses love unicorns so much?

Because they’re always horny!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjmaxal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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My horses have started to make alcohol

It's called eq-wine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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Why did cowboys ride horses?

It be-hooved them.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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What kind of food is made from horses?

Glue Cheese.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitdrumhard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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I’ve considered becoming a professional horse groomer.

It would be a stable job

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πŸ‘€︎ u/designerd101
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I got a horse named Mayo

and Mayo neighs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allisongibson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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I’ve got a tip for a horse in tomorrow’s big race, it’s won all its races, it’s called β€œdusty carpet”

It’s never been beaten.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elmachow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Why was the horse voted out of Congress?

Because he was always voting Neigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soupsandwich189
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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A horse walks into a bar and sits at a stool near the bartender. The bartender goes "Hi Horse, what can I get for you today?"

The horse looks at the bartender and says "Hey"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altus-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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A man decides to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a horse, and goes to a local breeder

Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.

"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."

"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."

The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?

Because they aren’t just difficult, they are neigh impossible!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/faux_real_yo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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What do you call a mobile home for mentally insane horses?

Unstable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LATROPSP
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I had a terrible dream where I was being chased by a female horse after sunset.

It was a night mare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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Say what you will about horse girls

But they definitely know how to ride

Edit: First time post here, just felt like horsing around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majestic_Horseman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I have always wanted to own a pure bread horse

https://preview.redd.it/x7eqsufaq1x51.jpg?width=599&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39fe9d67d655ff805ff8d98bf7b0a79d12d1b7c0

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qirim17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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What’s a horse’s favourite decade in recent history?

The 00s.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosmote_wifi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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What do you call a Jedi horse?

Unbridled force.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/absurdF
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Getting interviewed for a job as a blacksmith: Interviewer: Do you have any experience shoeing a horse?

Me: No, but I once told a donkey to F off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CameronC7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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What do you call a nocturnal horse?

A night mare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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What you call a sea horse with Telekinesis powers?

A Chi-horse

Sorry, this is the worst joke I have ever made

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πŸ‘€︎ u/connectedwith5G
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Whats a horse's favorite sandwich condiment?

Mayo....cause mayo-neighs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewbieSniper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Why did the horses get along so well?

They were in a stable relationship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/g_em_ini
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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What do you call a bee and a horse that live in the same neighborhood?

Neigh-buzz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honeygar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I really thought that animal was a horse, but then I asked it "Are you a horse?"

It said "Neigh"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heridfel37
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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I have a horse that's really asthmatic and I'm scared it may not make it. The vet prescribed some

bronco-die-laters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Letthembeefcake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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What's a Horse's favourite Beatles song?

Hay Chewed..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dontmeenafing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I never take a horse's opinion personally.

They're always a bunch of neighsayers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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my horse is broken

i watched it whip,then i watched it neigh neigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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