Love a good horse pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/idleoverruns
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
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Theese unstable horse puns
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unoriginal_duck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Horse puns good
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Touche5963
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Horse puns...

...yay or neigh?

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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Horse puns are great
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebeastyboi75
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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Horse Puns

Funniest horse puns and jokes

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: β€œHey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: β€œWhat, George?”


A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. β€œEvenin’” says the barman, β€œwhy the long face?”


A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: β€œWait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: β€œThis alright?” The barman says: β€œHmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”


A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: β€œI shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” β€œWhy, what have you got?” β€œAbout Β£2 and a carrot.”


Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours


A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. β€œWill I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: β€œOf course you will, and you’ll probably win!”


Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!


A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.

β€œI’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. β€œWe don’t serve spirits..


A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. β€œExcuse me, good sir,” the horse says, β€œare you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, β€œSorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. β€œWhy would the circus need a bartender?”


Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.


What did the horse say when it fell? β€œI’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”


Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.


Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!


What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!


What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?


What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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An unbridled masterpiece of a horse pun to one of my students this morning. It's a long setup, but dads will appreciate it. This one really happened as written.

So, I'm a Spanish professor, and I gave a final exam this morning. One of the last parts was that students had to write a paragraph using reflexive verbs in which they describe their daily routine. Since the class only had nine students in it, I told them that if they wanted to wait, I would grade their exams for them and tell them their class grade.

It was an open-book final exam (11 pages long), so I was in my office, and a graduating senior finished first and gave me her exam. When I got to her paragraph, I saw that she had written in Spanish that every day she woke up, got up, took a shower, got dressed, brushed her teeth, ate breakfast, and then she and her friend Emmy went horseback riding. Now, I knew that she didn't go horseback riding, ever, but that it was vocabulary from the previous chapter. The following conversation ensued:

Me: Horseback riding? Really?
Her: Yep!
Me: Every day?
Her: Yep!
Me: Every single day?
Her: SΓ­, SeΓ±or.
Me: I guess you could call it a stable routine then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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Pun Request: Horse-related

Our senior quotes are paragraphs this year, and I want to make a paragraph about my horseback riding that's full of horse puns. Can anyone help me out?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/axtumn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
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Request: Horse Birthday Puns

It's my friend's birthday, I'm trying to think of a clever horse pun to send her for her birthday because she really likes horses. I suck at this, and am a bit dis-trot. Plz help I will love you forever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guzmonster11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
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He gave the toy horses a home in his ___
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7keletor
πŸ“…︎ May 07
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A man was admitted to hospital after swallowing 6 plastic horses.

His condition has been described as stable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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I have a horse named Mayo

And Mayo neighs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/explorin1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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People say I make too many horse stall jokes

It’s what keeps me stable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/th3_warth0g
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
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I was at the horse racing track today and this guy comes over to me and says, "You want the winner of the next race?"

"No Thanks!!" I said. "I've only got a small garden."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
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Scary Horses

Sir Longbottom of Yorkshire, England has 20 horses in his stable. 9 are males and 11 are females. Why are them 11 females scary?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swirling_stardust
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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What do you call horses who live nearby?

Neighbors

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StringTraveler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
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Greatest name of a race horse ever

Hoof Hearted

Look it up. I can’t post the link but you’ll love it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManCaveGamer2
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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What’s black and white and eats like a horse?

A Zebra.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Martinonfire
πŸ“…︎ May 24
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What do you call a horse that gets its sight back

A see horse

From my dad tonight

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morgtician1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
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What you call a sea horse with Telekinesis powers?

A chi-horse

source: my 9 year old sister, after she found a video about psychic powers and stuff like that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/connectedwith5G
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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I used to breed 3-legged horses

I kept them in the unstable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyOnABison
πŸ“…︎ May 28
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Two horses in a field, one says to the other β€œI’m so hungry, I could eat a horse’

The other replies β€˜mooo’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackcw
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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I saw a news report recently about how a certain thick, white, egg based condiment is secretly being manufactured using horse meat.

The FDA says to listen carefully when you open the jar because the tainted mayo neighs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/damiensol
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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I have a pet horse named Mayo, and he keeps me up at night...

all throughout the night, Mayo neighs :(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notwutiwantd
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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One time I accidentally ate horse and it sent me to the ER

Doctor said I was β€˜stable’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Winterhats
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
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Funny how in the past everyone owned horses and only the rich owned cars, and now everyone has cars and only the rich have horses...

My how the stables have turned.

Edit: Wow guys, thanks for all the love!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zthazel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I made some ideas into images to put on to phone cases. This is my favourite - Get Off Your High Horse
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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What would you call a hospital for horses?

A horse-pital

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soham28
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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How come they call a place where horses are kept a "stable"…

And not a neigh-bourhood?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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What do you call a minty horse on social media?

A tik tok tic tac clip clop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adam_Gill_1965
πŸ“…︎ May 20
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A man was admitted to hospital today with 10 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.

Doctors have described his condition as stable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ May 20
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What do you call a communist horse?

Trots-ky

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πŸ“…︎ May 18
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What do you call a horse that only goes out at night?

A nightmare.

-courtesy of my kindergartner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_A_Rye
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
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My dad really knew how to build homes for horses.

He was a stable genius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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A pregnant mare can run faster than a horse

Because it has 2 horse power

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πŸ‘€︎ u/c0bu_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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A horse walks into a bar... the bartender asks, β€œwhy the long face?”

The horse, not being able to comprehend human language, promptly shits on the floor and leaves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFitBit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
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I was wondering who weighed more, cows or horses

Sure, the horse is bigger, but the cow looks BEEFY

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomuser3950
πŸ“…︎ May 03
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Yesterday a man drove his car into a barn full of horses.

He’s listed in serious but stable condition.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
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I lost big at the horse races tonight.

They were so much faster than me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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Why are people with dairy allergies afraid of horses?

Because they lack toes.

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πŸ“…︎ May 05
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I dreamed I befriended this amazing nocturnal horse.

What a night mare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ra3ndy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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How do you communicate with horses?

Horse code

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superuglypotate
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
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Your grandparents are planning their funeral arrangements in advance. Grandma wants to be transported in a horse and carriage grandpa wants a Ferrari.

Setting up to be a real race to the finish but I think Grandpa is winning this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…︎ May 07
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When I was a kid I thought we’d all grow up to work with horses

All people ever talked about was getting a stable job...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_bradley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
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They call my horse Mayo

Mayo neighs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Errors_O_Plenty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
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I call my horse Mayo...

...and sometimes Mayo Neighs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TEBach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
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I have a horse named mayo

Sometimes mayo neighs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuggeybug
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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I call my horse "Mayo"

And sometimes, Mayo neighs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ May 10
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What’s black and white and eats like a horse?

A Zebra

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petrifiedgumball
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
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I call my horse Mayo.

And sometimes Mayo Neighs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iNeedHealing24_7
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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