What do you call a donkey that refuses to move?

Bad ass.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
Ever seen a donkey that fell into a pit of sugar?

it's a sweet ass

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timmy_6919
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
What does a donkey get for lunch on Blackpool beach?

Half an hour like everyone else.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spazpekker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
Two donkeys in
πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
What do you call a 3 legged donkey?

A Wonkey.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/greeknicko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you cross a donkey and an onion?

A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/338geek
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
Remember that scandal where they used horse meat in lasagna? Good thing it wasn't donkey meat

Lots of people would have eaten ass without realizing it

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Otto_Partzzz
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
Statistically, you are more likely to be killed by a donkey than by a terrorist attack.

So watch your ass.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
What do you call a stupid donkey?

A dumb ass.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mndaver24
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion?

Most of the time, an onion with a tail on it. But every once in a while, you get a piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
How do you know if the meat you’re eating is donkey?

It tastes like ass

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKillOrder
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
What is a entire donkey called?

Asswhole

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sea_Emperour
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Mexican donkey?

A Jack-Ese.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
Why did the Donkey quit his job?

Hee Hawed enough!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fromhell187
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
Why’d the donkey become a truck driver?

Because he haul

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PoppaSquatt2010
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
My friend does the perfect imitation of the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse.

It's a perfect em-mule-ation.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
Why DIDN'T the donkey cross the road?

Because he saw what happened to the zebra!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
The man who killed donkeys for money.

He was an ass-assin

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MobileSunflower
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
All donkeys of the world gathered in a rally and demanded a seperate nation for donkeys

The leader donkey got shot and killed.

Ass-as-a-nation

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
What did my donkey do when I was hospitalized?

He brayed for my health.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
My car broke down on a Kentucky back road next to a pasture containing a single donkey .

Not wanting to walk, I had to burro it.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A truck full of donkeys passed me on the highway

He was really hauling ass.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a donkey with a sore throat?

Hoarse

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shabbos_roller
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
The baby donkey market is not appealing to sellers

The baby donkey market is difficult to get into and takes a lot of work because it's a small-ass business.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Fat_Hydra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Two Donkeys were Standing on the Side of the Road...

One donkey said to the other β€œshall we cross over?” The other said, β€œwe had better be careful look what happened to the Zebra!”

As told to me by my son.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bic_Parker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I cut my Donkey in two.

I thought he looked neat, but my friends only said I did a half-ass job

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gradymegalania
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
My magician friend used to have a part of his act where he saws a donkey in half...

It was a half-assed attempt at magic.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the scientist who started a nuclear reaction with donkeys?

He reached critical ass.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Does freezing a donkey solid

make a hard ass?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the donkey do when he was driving his car and got cut off?

HEE-HAWnked his horn.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Warriorchicken6
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a valuable donkey?

An asset.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt

I'm going to be an ascot

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nolehusker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why am I banned from owning a truck and a donkey at the same time?

I was hauling ass

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ledabmann
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know where I can find the King of donkeys?

Ass King for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I had donkey meat for the first time.

It tasted like ass.

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OldManBacala
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
There's probably a good reason donkeys don't talk.

If only they could tell us what it is ...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
what do you call a donkey with three legs?

a wonkey

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChizzleMyDizzle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the man say to the donkey?

Eukaryote.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PenroseSyracuse
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A priest, a nun and a donkey walk out of a bar

damn it, they are already walking out again, we missed the joke

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hicctl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a donkey with a stained glass window affixed to it's rear end...

What a pane on the ass!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I climbed the ladder and fell at top, neatly coming to rest on my donkey!

I fell on my ass!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
As I turned up to the funeral in a donkey costume, that's when I realised

I've made an ass of myself

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw a guy riding a bike while trying to sell a donkey.

He was peddling his ass all over town.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I was on the trail in Colorado or somewhere when I happened upon a dude that couldn't get his donkey in reverse.

A donkey-whisperer rapper-wanna-be, I was able to back that ass up, yo. Uh huh.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Upvote if you get it (hint donkey hole)
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0the
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does Donkey Kong wear a tie

He has important monkey business to attend to

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lagnaktor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw a random Donkey Kong poster today

I DK what it meant

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fred-the-Kanga
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pit full of donkeys

An Asshole

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ironwolf13821
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a neighborhood of holes in the ground where donkeys live?

A burro borrow borough.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/copycat042
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Torturing donkeys

It’s a pain in the ass.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TarantulaPets
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone shoved a baguette up my donkey's butt

What a pain in the ass

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the ventriloquist whose dummy looks like a donkey?

He's always talking out of his ass.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend once fed me donkey meat without telling me. I should have known from the beginning, though; it tasted like ass.
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Denovation
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Donkeys are awesome!

They are asstonishing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don’t they let donkeys into college?

Because they already have enough smart asses.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bondominator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why can farmers with two donkeys not be fair judges?

They’re bi-assed.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sunlightbender
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the donkey

He hawed a lot of supplies up the mountain!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dwtxranger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Statistically you’re more likely to be killed by a donkey than a terrorist attack.

So watch your ass.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine had the ability to transform into a donkey

Everytime we went out somewhere he'd make an ass of himself

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gregoirebickers
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
As a commercial livestock hauler, I’ve delivered quite a few donkeys to different farms.

My clients get their asses handed to them.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know how many donkeys there are in NYC?

Five burros.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timmypandas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Alaska donkey

If it's cold

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditAndFries
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I was speeding while towing a load of donkeys.

Naturally I got pulled over. When the officer asked me "Do you know why I stopped you today?" I replied....

"Because I was hauling ass?"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Inarus06
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a donkey that falls in ditch?

An Asshole

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IUserThisName
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Who does a donkey see to get its FICO score?

The credit burro.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gnosticpopsicle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I removed a thorn from my donkey

It was a real pain in the ass

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Emeri5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
You know what they say if you turn everyone into donkeys...

It makes an Ass out if you and me

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobScalesae
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
How does Winnie the Pooh's donkey friend paddle his boat?

Eeyores it.

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Commander
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man with 2 donkeys?

Biased.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ByzantiumBall
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2017
🚨︎ report
I saw a red donkey running wild through the streets today

It was red donkey loose!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YoureAMuenster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the bat/donkey hybrid?

It's pretty bat-ass!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tippydaug
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Feeding a baguette to a donkey is a real pain in the ass.
πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rawlingstones
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2016
🚨︎ report
A chicken a donkey and a goat goes to space. Then all of a sudden their rocket exlodes. Who gets to be blamed for the accident?

The Space Goat.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Signalize
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I think that girl over there has a particularly two-dimensional donkey.

Kudos if you figured it out.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kitty_Dragon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I wouldn’t recommend eating Donkey

It tastes like ass

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NeveForSpeed
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dumb donkey?

Assinine

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gamingpron0t
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I've got a pet donkey who listens to Dr. Dre, smokes marijuana and stays out all night

He's such a badass.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Admblackhawk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
🚨︎ report
How does a donkey open a door?

With a don-key.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johaen8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?

Debra

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colinmacus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
🚨︎ report
A mean donkey.

I saw a donkey the other day and he was being really mean to some cows.

I guess he was a real bad ass!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistercokeman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m currently on a road trip with my girlfriend and saw a truck full of donkeys...

It was really hauling ass.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFamousMrRed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
🚨︎ report
If 2 donkeys are fighting...

Would that still be considered ass-ault?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SorenTheOwl123
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Hey you know how a mix between a donkey and a horse is a mule

Does that make it a half ass horse

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theindoorpug
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
🚨︎ report
The parable of Donkey

It's a cold November evening and 2 men out on the town. They enter a bar and approach the keeper. One man says to the other man "Hey Donkey, I think it's your turn" and walks off to use the toilet.

Donkey looks at the bar keeper and says "T-T-T-T-T-Two B-B-B-B-Beers Ppppppppp-Ppppplease"

Given his speech impediment, the keeper feels sorry for the man and say "Do you mind him calling you Donkey"

Donkey looks sadly at the keeper and say "He-aw-He-aw-He always calls me that"

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Raath
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the donkey who underwent plastic surgery?

They gave him a very nice piece of ass.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I just saw a donkey fall into a bowl of sugar.

Now that's a sweet ass.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HDwalrus123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2017
🚨︎ report
I named my big donkey after a one-off character in The Simpsons.

His name is Hugh Jass.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LilyoftheRally
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Donkey walks into a bar and sees there’s a horse in the bar as well.

Donkey starts speaking to the horse, β€œSo what do you do?”

β€œOh in the summer I do racing and in the winter I do the showjumping.” says the horse.

Donkeys thinking, holy shit, this is a thoroughbred.

β€œWhat do you do?” Asks the horse.

All embarrassed the donkey says β€œoh... uh... well in the summer I give rides to kids at the beach”

They chat a bit more and arrange to go round the donkey's house for drinks next week. Donkey's thinking to himself he’s got to come up with some way to impress the thoroughbred. So he gets a picture of a Zebra, a nice frame and hangs it up.

Horse comes round and goes β€œOh this is a nice house you’ve got, that’s a nice picture too”

Donkey says β€œOh aye, that’s when I played for Juventus”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skubbags
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a 3-legged donkey?

A wonkey.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flyingfishtaco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2016
🚨︎ report
Remember that scandal where they used horse meat in lasagna? Good thing it wasn't donkey meat

Lots of people would have eaten ass without realizing it

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whygru
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pit full of donkeys?

An asshole

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CeleryHunter143
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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