What is the smelliest kind of ox?

A buttocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
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What do you call an ox with a huge ass ?

Buttox.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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I tried wild ox milk

Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadeTreeMechanix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
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I've just dissected an ox eye to see what's inside it.

It was an eye opening experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatLima25
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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My 8 year old son's joke: What do you call an ox with big butt?

Buttocks

Source - from the jokes forum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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My friend was leading his wild, shaggy-haired ox thru the mountains of central Asia when it projectile vomited all over his feet!

It yakked on his shoes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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My mom used to tell me if I ate all my meat I would become as strong as an ox, but that couldn't be true

because I've never seen an ox eating meat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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Why did the farmer mistakenly work extra hard to keep barley and wheat away from his prized ox?

The vet had recently diagnosed him with silly yak disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/das_bic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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Why did the wild ox refuse to eat anything besides gluten free sandwiches?

He was a silly yak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fonebone45
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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What do you call an educated ox without an education?

An oxymoron.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FiveMinFreedom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
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Did you hear about the Ox that got mad when a witch turned him into a Fox?

He felt he got effed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LYKAF0XX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2013
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What do you call an inbred ox?

A Habsburger

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snobb1001
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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What's chemist' s favourite band?

The red/ox chili peppers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JjoosiK
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
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My friend creates hybrid animals. She made a cow with human glutes. It turned out to be so cute!

I really like to look at her butt-ox!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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Happy Lunar New Year 2021

Hopefully good health and prosperity aren't too much to "ox" for.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ixfd64
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
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What animal is this lunar year going to be?

Don't ox me

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
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Why couldn't the Macaw and the Bull never produce any offspring?

It would've created a parrot-ox.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EastlyGod1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Why did the farmer need such a long AUX cable for?

To tie his ox

Joke by my 9 year old brother

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Walking through East London, I asked my friend: β€œWhy is there a bull in that charity shop?”

He replied, β€œThat’s an Ox, fam”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eormada
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Actual underappreciated dad joke

Still one of my best so here's the set up.

I take my wife on a cruise for her birthday. Each night during dinner they have a section of things you would not normally try but you're on a cruise so try it. Anyway one night they had braised ox tongue. So I order it and get a side eye from the wife while doing so. It arrives and I had correctly anticipated her question. Anyway here's the conversation...

Braised ox tongue appetizer is set before me. I cut a small piece and put in it my mouth and begin to chew.

Wife: Well, how is it?!? Me: (slowly looking up) it's... tasty.
W: Did you really order that just to make that joke? Me: yes, yes I did.

In all actuality it was quite good.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/davedin3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I saw a guy drink a bottle of brandy, then fill it to the top with water and screw the lid back on.

He approached a wild ox. The ox looked at him.

The guy said, "Hello, there, wild ox. Would you like to buy this bottle of brandy from me? Β£50, that is all."

The wild ox mulled it over, before pulling out the money and handing it over to the man.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have jumped up and yelled, "It's a con, yak!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Paradox.

It has been proposed that an ox may never birth a conjoined twin

But if it did it would be a Paired Ox.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hasrirama
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Our bedtime conversation

Me: (enormous, burly fart)

Her: My god, that sounds like an animal!

Me: Yeah. It was a butt ox.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/julius_yang
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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Black shoes and boots are made out of

Carbon dyed ox hide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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Buwanna

I recall from my youth, a time of great adventure. My friends and I on safari hunting the Great North-American Man-Eating Female Butt-Ox.

The hunt was difficult and expensive. Once one has been identified as an acceptable specimen you need to slow its wits and dull its decision making process. This is best accomplished with loud music, flashing lights and alcohol. But even then the hunt can be foiled by rushing in to early. If you're successful, you then need to separate it from the pack. This is the trickiest bit as less than ideal pack members will often fight ruthlessly to "protect" your target.

But even the most successful outings are not without risk. On several occasions I found myself entangled in a wrestling match for hours. But there lies the fruit of the hunt...

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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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My dad used β€œtitanium dioxides” in a sentence...

So my sister is writing a research paper for her PhD and it involves titanium dioxides. This is an actual email my Dad sent the family email chain while we were discussing the paper (all names have been changed for privacy):

β€œ"Aunt Jane! Can you use the term titanium dioxides in a sentence so we can better understand its meaning?" asked her curious niece at the Thanksgiving family meal.

"Sure" said Dr Doe, "Mr and Mrs Tanium ran a tannery for years. Their son Ty used to shoot water buffaloes for sport, but his parents convinced him that he should at least save the pelts. So now his parents and Ty Tanium dye ox hides!"

Beat that one!

Dad”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b0rgullet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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My son had a project on killer whales, and I decided to send my own project as well

http://imgur.com/iOnOxLe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meganmarie42
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
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Too early for this ...

I woke up early for work,and was getting dressed while my girlfriend lazily poked at her phone. I was laying out my clothes, saying as I go: "undershirt ... work shirt ... underwear ... jeans ... French bovine ... can't wear shoes without the French bovine ..."

I noticed my girlfriend was staring at me, bewildered, but also wearing her "what sort of stupid thing are you saying now?"

I asked what was the matter, and she inquired what a French bovine is.

I said, you shouldn't wear shoes without ...

A Paris ox.

edited: stupid mistakes. It makes better sense now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NobodyWhatsoever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2016
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Why did the Himalayan farmer have trouble hearing his livestock?

He couldn't find an Ox cord.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/photoast
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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Post Grocery Shopping Dadjoke

My dad literally just came out with this one. Mum and dad have just come back from shopping, and my brother had asked for shaving foam/gel. So mum says "I forgot to get you any mousse." And dad comes out with "She got you a musk ox instead." Groans were definitely heard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/izzylovesian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2015
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