25 Hilarious Oxford Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a great time.

👍︎ 12k

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Dec 09 2020

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I was taught to never use the Oxford comma

by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.

👍︎ 5k

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👤︎ u/SummonedShenanigans

📅︎ Dec 09 2020

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Just heard there is a geezer down the market selling Oxford vaccination for £2 each

Or 3 for a Pfizer

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/DrunkenPeanut97

📅︎ Jan 18 2021

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Somebody broke into my house and stole my Oxford English Dictionary.

I’m lost for words.

👍︎ 18

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle

📅︎ Jun 12 2020

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I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.

They called me Soccertes.

👍︎ 24

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👤︎ u/JackFunk

📅︎ Nov 04 2019

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Recently, Oxford has been cracking down on the proper use of punctuation.

Honestly, I'm entirely on board with this. This has be-comma issue within the community.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/proteen18

📅︎ Aug 23 2018

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The Oxford comma...

...is necessary, critical and essential.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/ScottyUrb

📅︎ Sep 08 2017

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An Oxford comma walks into a bar...

Orders a gin, and tonic.

👍︎ 31

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👤︎ u/bradfink2

📅︎ Aug 04 2013

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What do you call a well educated Englishman napping?

An Oxford Coma

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/willehsballs

📅︎ Dec 27 2020

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My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas

👍︎ 11k

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👤︎ u/Bound4Oregon

📅︎ Mar 27 2019

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Freaking pandas

👍︎ 4k

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👤︎ u/TheRealMoistNapkin

📅︎ Mar 10 2019

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A friend asked me," What rhymes with orange?"

I said," No, it doesn't."

👍︎ 1k

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👤︎ u/WhiteDeath1404

📅︎ Feb 22 2019

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Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:

;

👍︎ 8k

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👤︎ u/edhere

📅︎ Apr 25 2017

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So the police showed up at my house

Me: [hears knock on door] Who is it?

Trooper: State police identify yourself

Me: Police identify yourself

Trooper: State police

Me: Police

(Edit: messed up formatting)

👍︎ 3k

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👤︎ u/ctyw

📅︎ Apr 03 2018

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What type of car did Jesus’s apostles drive?

A Christler

👍︎ 22

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👤︎ u/cdbg122

📅︎ Oct 19 2018

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What do you call an educated ox without an education?

An oxymoron.

👍︎ 23

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👤︎ u/FiveMinFreedom

📅︎ Jun 21 2017

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Couldn't give a sh!t

I'm out for breakfast with my S.O. who is a nurse and her family. She's telling us about her patient.

S.O. - He had a paralyzed bowel.

Her Dad - He didn't give a shit.

👍︎ 1k

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👤︎ u/runningwithsizers

📅︎ Feb 09 2014

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Request for sexy grammatical pun

Can someone think up a pun that comes from the phrase "Proper Comma Usage" but also relates to the most popular form of male-member based contraception?

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/dice777

📅︎ Feb 16 2015

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How do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot about english?

An OxfordsTheSaurus.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/FyterX

📅︎ Sep 28 2018

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Jeff, an Oxford comma, and a semicolon walk into a bar.

They both had a great time.

👍︎ 91

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Feb 27 2021

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Just heard there's a guy down Borough market selling Oxford vaccinations for £2 each...

Or 3 for a Pfizer!

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/samuelh1996_

📅︎ Jan 09 2021

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Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a good time.

👍︎ 62

💬︎

👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Feb 28 2019

🚨︎ report

Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a great time.

👍︎ 53

💬︎

👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ May 12 2019

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Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma goes to a bar.

Both of them had a great time.

👍︎ 268

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ May 25 2018

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Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma goes to a bar...

Both of them had a great time.

👍︎ 307

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👤︎ u/g6mrfixit

📅︎ May 29 2018

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