Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I was taught to never use the Oxford comma

by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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There’s always an Oxford comma.

If you can’t find it it’s a comma chameleon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFrankPork
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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Just heard there is a geezer down the market selling Oxford vaccination for Β£2 each

Or 3 for a Pfizer

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkenPeanut97
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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Somebody broke into my house and stole my Oxford English Dictionary.

I’m lost for words.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.

They called me Soccertes.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackFunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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Recently, Oxford has been cracking down on the proper use of punctuation.

Honestly, I'm entirely on board with this. This has be-comma issue within the community.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/proteen18
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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The Oxford comma...

...is necessary, critical and essential.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2017
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An Oxford comma walks into a bar...

Orders a gin, and tonic.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bradfink2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2013
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What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma’s a pause at the end of a clause.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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We had a potato cannon once. We had some dumpster bread. We were shooting it full of grass, bread and leaves....

Technically our cannon "shoots eats and leaves".

(As in the oxford comma panda assassin... that "eats, shoots, and leaves")

Anyway I've waited years for someone to appreciate this .... and it has never happened so far. I hope you are slightly amused....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mavaction
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bound4Oregon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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What do you call a well educated Englishman napping?

An Oxford Coma

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/willehsballs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Freaking pandas
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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A friend asked me," What rhymes with orange?"

I said," No, it doesn't."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteDeath1404
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:

;

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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So the police showed up at my house

Me: [hears knock on door] Who is it?

Trooper: State police identify yourself

Me: Police identify yourself

Trooper: State police

Me: Police

(Edit: messed up formatting)

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ctyw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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What type of car did Jesus’s apostles drive?

A Christler

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cdbg122
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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What do you call an educated ox without an education?

An oxymoron.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FiveMinFreedom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
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Couldn't give a sh!t

I'm out for breakfast with my S.O. who is a nurse and her family. She's telling us about her patient.

S.O. - He had a paralyzed bowel.

Her Dad - He didn't give a shit.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/runningwithsizers
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2014
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Request for sexy grammatical pun

Can someone think up a pun that comes from the phrase "Proper Comma Usage" but also relates to the most popular form of male-member based contraception?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dice777
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2015
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How do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot about english?

An OxfordsTheSaurus.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FyterX
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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Jeff, an Oxford comma, and a semicolon walk into a bar.

They both had a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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Just heard there's a guy down Borough market selling Oxford vaccinations for Β£2 each...

Or 3 for a Pfizer!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samuelh1996_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma goes to a bar.

Both of them had a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 265
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a good time.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma goes to a bar...

Both of them had a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 302
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πŸ‘€︎ u/g6mrfixit
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report

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