I'd like to personally thank the inventor of the mini skirt...
My balls have never felt so free.
My girlfriend and I have been really stressed and having some issues so we decided to take a mini vacation, a weekend trip to a ski resort.
Everything started off well, but things went downhill really fast.
What do you call the Mini-Me of your mother?
I bought myself a Mini Cooper and painted the letter "S" all over it. When I drive around town...
everyone says look at that little "S" car go!
Seems a little inappropriate having a strip club across the road from Mini golf in town. I’m a pretty liberal guy but if I’m having a day out with my family the last thing I want to look across the road and see is a bunch of losers playing mini golf.
He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
One of my friends made a mini-computer. Saw my opportunity and took it :)
Did you hear about LEGO mini figures protesting?
I mini-figured you would like this pun.
Did you hear that Subway is opening a mini golf course at some of their restaurants?
I tried it out, but it wasn't very good.
It was sub-par.
Mini-golf players have no drive.
My sister and her college roommate both bought mini fridges and now they have two...
You can never have two mini fridges
Today I only had time for a mini-workout
I rear ended a dwarf in a mini...
He hopped out, waddled over, and signalled me to wind down my window.
As the window came down, red in the face he yelled “I AM NOT HAPPY!”
To which I replied, “Well which one are you then?”
I told the family we seriously need to consider getting a mini-van, and my 4-year-old-son was very upset.
Instead, he insisted we buy a Mickey van.
My kids won’t let me play mini-golf with them anymore
After my first stroke it all went downhill
I recently opened a combination sandwich shop/mini golf course.
I thought it was a great idea but the reviews said the experience was sub-par.
"What do you call one of those mini burps that never really gets enough acoustic momentum to become a full resounding rip?"
"A Son of a Belch"
Thought it up yesterday! Hopefully it's original.
Some prefer their coffee in a mini mug
I prefer mine in this giant cup.
When I told my ex girlfriend that I wanted to break up, she tried gifting me a mini plastic figurine of myself in an attempt to salvage our relationship.
I screamed, "Lego of me!"
I recently ate at an east African restaurant. On their menu, one of the items was a mini tamale...
Open a mini golf course on the top floor of The Ritz -
Call it "Puttin' on The Ritz".
Dracula is walking down a street in Transylvania when suddenly tons of sandwiches, mini sausage rolls, crisps, chicken wings and cocktail sausages fall on him...
Buried under all this food, his dying words were, "Oh no, it's Buffet the Vampire Slayer!"
My wife wants a mini van.
I’d prefer a regular-size van we can actually fit in.
Why wont elves drive mini mokes?
Cause mokins an elf hazard
We were driving our mini-van behind a truck carrying porta-potties and my wife said "It would suck if those fell off in front of us" and I said
"The shit would really hit the van then". snort
What mini Ryu shouts when he upper punches people?
We needed mini marshmallows for something and we didn't know how many we had
My dad says "I don't know if we have many, but we have some"
Start collecting mini shots of different alcohol.
I'm going to make a mini bar.
I had a Mini Coconut Pecan Wookie Cake today at lunch
It was a little chewie.
#MayThe4th dad jokes
Got my kids while playing mini golf
Me: "Golf is a game of patience."
Daughter: "Well I don't like patience."
Me: "You'd better not become a doctor, then!"
When we got him a mini iPad for Christmas...
...I'd rather have this than a maxipad.
Vincent names his mini-van.
My good friend has a father named Vincent. Vincent always drives a van, and he gave his most recent van a name. He named it Vincent Van Go and often shouted "Vincent Van, Go!" before hitting the gas.
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