I own a old mining helmet with a light on it.
But I never wear it....
It makes me light headed.
I’m just here mining my own business...
Crypto-currency has become so popular in Iceland that bit-mining has now overtaken the country’s music industry in total bandwidth usage.
This comes as little surprise however, as Iceland’s Björk has always been worse than their byte.
Did you hear about the coal mining startup that used child labor? Thankfully they caught it early.
So it was only a minor minor miner issue.
Why don't mining towns have hospitals?
Because everyone there only ever suffers from minor injuries.
I'm considering getting into the steel and mining business
.. just need to iron out the details.
A man is interviewing for a job in the mines. The interviewer asks, “would you prefer mining for iron or copper?”
The man replies, “Either ore works!”
Several miners got trapped but the mining company refused to help them.
One could say the miners got shafted.
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?
What do you call it when two mining companies merge?
I really wanted to be a mining engineer.
Looking for Minecraft-based puns for a server name. Anything to do with mining, blocks, or any feature of Minecraft helps!
A friend of mine started a server recently and we're trying to brainstorm ideas for names for our server. Puns are always the right way to go. As long as it's not taken already and the .com or .org is available, anything is fair game! Thanks in advance. :)
Talking with my brother about cryptocurrency mining, my dad comes in with this.
Me: "bro, your computer is not working. It's not mining."
Dad: "must be a union computer."
In mining, what do you find next to the basalt?
That's mine pun
If you open your mind to the wind, you will be mind blown
Just had this back and forth with my co-worker. Her husband works in explosives.
Me: seems appropriate for you and yours: http://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/32gzy7/what_was_the_secret_to_the_miners_success/
Her: That’s a dynamite answer!
Me: I noticed the explosion of laughter over there
Her: Rock on!
Me: gold-standard of jokes here
Her: so precious
Me: digging deep on that one
Her: pickin away one at a time
Me: we have definitely hit the pay dirt of mining puns
Her: definite Honey Hole here!
Me: not sure that joke bee-longs here
Her: you are a total BUZZZZZZ kill
Me: comb on it wasn’t that bad
A friend of mine is quite well known for sweeping girls off their feet.
He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
Not mine. But always makes me giggle
Friend of mine asked why I took a side job at the bakery
I told him I don’t knead the dough, but I do get a rise out of it
I heard they built a new tin mine recently
Yeah I believe they did it on a very tiny area
A friend of mine claimed he saw a Daihatsu stretch limo.
It turned out to be a big Charade.
A coworker of mine spilled boiling hot coffee on my leg and had the nerve to ask where it hurts
My grandpa worked the mines his entire life
I really miss him, he was the coalest man I knew
Will you “cheese” be mine? ❤️
A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
A friend of mine asked why I started a spice garden.
I just figured it was thyme.
I asked Elon Musk if I should mine Bitcoin or Etherium...
He said I would be fine with Ether Ore
A farmer friend of mine recently made a great sci-fi film
It's called Robo-crop starring Wil Wheaton.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A friend of mine thinks he's an expert on tree types.
He refers to himself as a conifer
I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6-year-old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
What do you call a grazing cow that swallowed a land mine.
Yesterday a friend of mine told me he has a new job. He's garbage man now...
well, he didn't let that opportunity go to waste
A friend of mine made a terrible mistake at work.
When he came in the next day, his face was purple. His co-workers told him he shouldn’t beet himself up.
I asked my girlfriend if I could make her mine. "Yes! Oh, yes!" she shouted, eyes filling with tears. "Great!" I said.
"Now take this pick and go find me some gold!"
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
A friend of mine tore his tongue in two in a freak accident.
I told him to get to the hospital lickety-split.
A friend of mine was recently injured in a bad Peek-a-Boo accident
A cousin of mine posted a couple of jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted them.
He’s my cousin, twice [removed]
A friend of mine runs a funeral home
People are dying to go there.
A friend of mine planned to use balloons to propose to his internet girlfriend, but then they finally met face to face.
He immediately popped the question.
A funeral director friend of mine bought a brand new Cadillac hearse.
People are dying to take a ride in it.
(As told by my friend the funeral director?
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.
Toucan play at that game.
Locksmith friend of mine just retired, said he never once got rained out.
It seems that all of his work was in doors.
There were no mines in Soviet Russia
My wife asked me if I thought the kids were spoiled
I said "no, I think they're supposed to smell like that."
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
You want to know where dads store all the dad jokes?
They store it in dad-a-base.
A friend of mine is a dermatologist
He started his career from scratch.
A friend of mine just said to me “I’m training to be garbage man”
I said “You don’t need training for that! You just pick it up as you go along”
Your nose will never be 12 inches long
Because then it would be a foot.
A friend of mine makes good money selling camel’s milk, but he has to put up with surly camels all day.
I was thinking about opening a donut shop next to a marijuana shop and calling it....
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
Why don’t chickens like to mine for gold?
They might find a nugget.
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 5 year old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.