I own a old mining helmet with a light on it.

But I never wear it....

It makes me light headed.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
I’m just here mining my own business...
πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe-knail
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Crypto-currency has become so popular in Iceland that bit-mining has now overtaken the country’s music industry in total bandwidth usage.

This comes as little surprise however, as Iceland’s BjΓΆrk has always been worse than their byte.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReviveTheCronut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the coal mining startup that used child labor? Thankfully they caught it early.

So it was only a minor minor miner issue.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shargus_live
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't mining towns have hospitals?

Because everyone there only ever suffers from minor injuries.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm considering getting into the steel and mining business

.. just need to iron out the details.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kmh4321
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Asteroid mining

Is on the horizon

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A man is interviewing for a job in the mines. The interviewer asks, β€œwould you prefer mining for iron or copper?”

The man replies, β€œEither ore works!”

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Several miners got trapped but the mining company refused to help them.

One could say the miners got shafted.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?

Coalgate.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when two mining companies merge?

A COALition.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2016
🚨︎ report
I really wanted to be a mining engineer.

But I was lousy adit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Looking for Minecraft-based puns for a server name. Anything to do with mining, blocks, or any feature of Minecraft helps!

A friend of mine started a server recently and we're trying to brainstorm ideas for names for our server. Puns are always the right way to go. As long as it's not taken already and the .com or .org is available, anything is fair game! Thanks in advance. :)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/terminavelocity
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2014
🚨︎ report
Talking with my brother about cryptocurrency mining, my dad comes in with this.

Me: "bro, your computer is not working. It's not mining."

Dad: "must be a union computer."

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2014
🚨︎ report
In mining, what do you find next to the basalt?

The bapepper.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OverlandSteve
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2015
🚨︎ report
That's mine pun

If you open your mind to the wind, you will be mind blown

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TopchetoEU
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Just had this back and forth with my co-worker. Her husband works in explosives.

Me: seems appropriate for you and yours: http://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/32gzy7/what_was_the_secret_to_the_miners_success/ Her: That’s a dynamite answer! Me: I noticed the explosion of laughter over there Her: Rock on! Me: gold-standard of jokes here Her: so precious Me: digging deep on that one Her: pickin away one at a time Me: we have definitely hit the pay dirt of mining puns Her: definite Honey Hole here! Me: not sure that joke bee-longs here Her: you are a total BUZZZZZZ kill Me: comb on it wasn’t that bad

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gabeanzelini
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2015
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine is quite well known for sweeping girls off their feet.

He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
Not mine. But always makes me giggle
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alca87
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Friend of mine asked why I took a side job at the bakery

I told him I don’t knead the dough, but I do get a rise out of it

πŸ‘︎ 674
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/troutslayer12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
so many choices
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorNebula
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
I heard they built a new tin mine recently

Yeah I believe they did it on a very tiny area

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DracomancerWill
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine claimed he saw a Daihatsu stretch limo.

It turned out to be a big Charade.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AFCBlink
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Not mine
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phoo_yone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
A coworker of mine spilled boiling hot coffee on my leg and had the nerve to ask where it hurts

I said decaf.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uhhokanything
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
My grandpa worked the mines his entire life

I really miss him, he was the coalest man I knew

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jonbar9
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Will you β€œcheese” be mine? ❀️
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CharmingSorbet1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
A buddy of mine named his dog β€œ5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles

But today he ran over 5 Miles

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine asked why I started a spice garden.

I just figured it was thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kork-the-great
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
I asked Elon Musk if I should mine Bitcoin or Etherium...

He said I would be fine with Ether Ore

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
A farmer friend of mine recently made a great sci-fi film

It's called Robo-crop starring Wil Wheaton.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadrantbiz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine thinks he's an expert on tree types.

He refers to himself as a conifer

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6-year-old son wasn't actually mine.

She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
What do you call a grazing cow that swallowed a land mine.

Abominable.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Yesterday a friend of mine told me he has a new job. He's garbage man now...

well, he didn't let that opportunity go to waste

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/myhomebasenl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine made a terrible mistake at work.

When he came in the next day, his face was purple. His co-workers told him he shouldn’t beet himself up.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
I asked my girlfriend if I could make her mine. "Yes! Oh, yes!" she shouted, eyes filling with tears. "Great!" I said.

"Now take this pick and go find me some gold!"

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.

He just can't part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeltaOne211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine tore his tongue in two in a freak accident.

I told him to get to the hospital lickety-split.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine was recently injured in a bad Peek-a-Boo accident

He’s currently in I-C-U

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
A cousin of mine posted a couple of jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted them.

He’s my cousin, twice [removed]

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine runs a funeral home

People are dying to go there.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine planned to use balloons to propose to his internet girlfriend, but then they finally met face to face.

He immediately popped the question.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
A funeral director friend of mine bought a brand new Cadillac hearse.

People are dying to take a ride in it.

(As told by my friend the funeral director?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.

Toucan play at that game.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
Locksmith friend of mine just retired, said he never once got rained out.

It seems that all of his work was in doors.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WaynePrndl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
There were no mines in Soviet Russia

They were called ours

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hessim20
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if I thought the kids were spoiled

I said "no, I think they're supposed to smell like that."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

A babooooom!

πŸ‘︎ 171
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
You want to know where dads store all the dad jokes?

They store it in dad-a-base.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine is a dermatologist

He started his career from scratch.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine just said to me β€œI’m training to be garbage man”

I said β€œYou don’t need training for that! You just pick it up as you go along”

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Your nose will never be 12 inches long

Because then it would be a foot.

πŸ‘︎ 647
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/extremely_4getful
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine makes good money selling camel’s milk, but he has to put up with surly camels all day.

It’s a drama dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WCBrann
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
I was thinking about opening a donut shop next to a marijuana shop and calling it....

Glazed and Confused.

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"

She said, "Not neccecelery."

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
Why don’t chickens like to mine for gold?

They might find a nugget.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Professor_Smartax
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 5 year old son wasn't actually mine.

She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report

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