I’m just here mining my own business...
Crypto-currency has become so popular in Iceland that bit-mining has now overtaken the country’s music industry in total bandwidth usage.
This comes as little surprise however, as Iceland’s Björk has always been worse than their byte.
Did you hear about the coal mining startup that used child labor? Thankfully they caught it early.
So it was only a minor minor miner issue.
I'm considering getting into the steel and mining business
.. just need to iron out the details.
Why don't mining towns have hospitals?
Because everyone there only ever suffers from minor injuries.
A man is interviewing for a job in the mines. The interviewer asks, “would you prefer mining for iron or copper?”
The man replies, “Either ore works!”
Several miners got trapped but the mining company refused to help them.
One could say the miners got shafted.
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?
What do you call it when two mining companies merge?
I really wanted to be a mining engineer.
Looking for Minecraft-based puns for a server name. Anything to do with mining, blocks, or any feature of Minecraft helps!
A friend of mine started a server recently and we're trying to brainstorm ideas for names for our server. Puns are always the right way to go. As long as it's not taken already and the .com or .org is available, anything is fair game! Thanks in advance. :)
Talking with my brother about cryptocurrency mining, my dad comes in with this.
Me: "bro, your computer is not working. It's not mining."
Dad: "must be a union computer."
In mining, what do you find next to the basalt?
That's mine pun
If you open your mind to the wind, you will be mind blown
Just had this back and forth with my co-worker. Her husband works in explosives.
Me: seems appropriate for you and yours: http://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/32gzy7/what_was_the_secret_to_the_miners_success/
Her: That’s a dynamite answer!
Me: I noticed the explosion of laughter over there
Her: Rock on!
Me: gold-standard of jokes here
Her: so precious
Me: digging deep on that one
Her: pickin away one at a time
Me: we have definitely hit the pay dirt of mining puns
Her: definite Honey Hole here!
Me: not sure that joke bee-longs here
Her: you are a total BUZZZZZZ kill
Me: comb on it wasn’t that bad
Not mine. But always makes me giggle
I asked my girlfriend if I could make her mine. "Yes! Oh, yes!" she shouted, eyes filling with tears. "Great!" I said.
"Now take this pick and go find me some gold!"
A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.
Toucan play at that game.
Locksmith friend of mine just retired, said he never once got rained out.
It seems that all of his work was in doors.
A friend of mine makes good money selling camel’s milk, but he has to put up with surly camels all day.
A friend of mine is a dermatologist
He started his career from scratch.
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 5 year old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
Why don’t chickens like to mine for gold?
They might find a nugget.
I told my wife I was going to accompany her to get her Covid Vaccine, and see if they could do mine as well. She said they probably wouldn't. I replied, "I don't know..."
A friend of mine told me he was looking to buy stock in Bose.
I told him it would be a sound investment.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
A friend of mine just said to me “I’m training to be garbage man”
I said “You don’t need training for that! You just pick it up as you go along”
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
A friend of mine asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine...
I said, "Oooh!! About 15 minutes. "
A friend of mine has starting collecting mirrors
Personally, I don't know what he sees in them.
There were no mines in Soviet Russia
What has 5 fingers, but isn't your hand?
So I’m at dinner with the fam, telling the joke about what the kid with no arms got for Christmas (we still don’t know because he hasn’t opened them yet)...I set it up...a friend of mine at work has a kid...no arms...and deliver the punchline...
And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me
‘Dad, I knew that story wasn’t real because you don’t have any friends’
👻👻💀💀☠️☠️ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.
I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids
I confronted a mime today.
He did unspeakable things.
Thank you for the awards. You made my day 😃
How does one mine for data?
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives
I replied, no, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.
A friend of mine needs skin grafts for surgery, but thankfully, he doesn't need donors.
That's no skin off of my nose!
Not mine just wanted to share some funny stuff
Image belongs to cyanide and happiness it's not mine but thought you would enjoy it.
A friend of mine just died from eating too many herbs
A friend of mine cut his finger off at work...
I suppose he'll be getting severance pay.
I decided to sell my vacuum...
It was only collecting dust.
A friend of mine just named their child Geneva.
It’s rather too conventional for me...
I work in a sauce factory and saw an old friend of mine
I walked over to him and said, " Hey! haven't seen you in a really long time! Let's Ketchup!"
There was an accident at the coal mine
Nothing too serious, just some miner damage
I went in for a Covid test and my doctor asked if I had a sudden loss of taste
"No, I always dress like this", I replied.
An old mine shaft collapsed on a bunch of workers the other day.
But it’s okay, they only suffered miner injuries.
Not mine but a good pun user who made this deserves rewards
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words before he kicked the bucket
"Do you wanna see how far I can kick that bucket?"
I asked my dad if I was adopted
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
What's the difference between a boy clock and a girl clock?
A boy clock goes "tick tock, tick tock, tick tock" and a girl clock just tocks...and tocks...and tocks.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Why are there no cafes in mines?
Because coffee should never be made under-ground.
I was devastated this afternoon, when my wife said my 5 year old son wasn't mine...
She said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
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