My neighbor asked me if I recognized the mini statues in my front graden...

But I didn’t gnome.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowblink
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I'd like to personally thank the inventor of the mini skirt...

My balls have never felt so free.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I have been really stressed and having some issues so we decided to take a mini vacation, a weekend trip to a ski resort.

Everything started off well, but things went downhill really fast.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ima420r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the Mini-Me of your mother?

Minimum

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Albus_Veritas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Seems a little inappropriate having a strip club across the road from Mini golf in town. I’m a pretty liberal guy but if I’m having a day out with my family the last thing I want to look across the road and see is a bunch of losers playing mini golf.
πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rurgtide
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stunner19
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
One of my friends made a mini-computer. Saw my opportunity and took it :)
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/litty_kitty73
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about LEGO mini figures protesting?

Block Lives Matter!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewszabo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Mini Soda
πŸ‘︎ 436
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SumBr3ad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I mini-figured you would like this pun.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kellyjandrews
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Mini soda
πŸ‘︎ 669
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitGuySentMe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Subway is opening a mini golf course at some of their restaurants?

I tried it out, but it wasn't very good.
It was sub-par.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeLouie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Mini-golf players have no drive.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D-World
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My sister and her college roommate both bought mini fridges and now they have two...

You can never have two mini fridges

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GodWilla32
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I only had time for a mini-workout

It was short but sweat

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain-Americano
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I rear ended a dwarf in a mini...

He hopped out, waddled over, and signalled me to wind down my window.

As the window came down, red in the face he yelled β€œI AM NOT HAPPY!”

To which I replied, β€œWell which one are you then?”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Seshimus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I told the family we seriously need to consider getting a mini-van, and my 4-year-old-son was very upset.

Instead, he insisted we buy a Mickey van.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LongneckBottles
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My kids won’t let me play mini-golf with them anymore

After my first stroke it all went downhill

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dsgorman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently opened a combination sandwich shop/mini golf course.

I thought it was a great idea but the reviews said the experience was sub-par.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TVLord5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
🚨︎ report
"What do you call one of those mini burps that never really gets enough acoustic momentum to become a full resounding rip?"

"A Son of a Belch"

Thought it up yesterday! Hopefully it's original.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaosReignsAll
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Some prefer their coffee in a mini mug

I prefer mine in this giant cup.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aaanold
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
When I told my ex girlfriend that I wanted to break up, she tried gifting me a mini plastic figurine of myself in an attempt to salvage our relationship.

I screamed, "Lego of me!"

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Apostjustforthis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
🚨︎ report
I recently ate at an east African restaurant. On their menu, one of the items was a mini tamale...

They called it a Somali.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuestionMarkyMark
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Open a mini golf course on the top floor of The Ritz -

Call it "Puttin' on The Ritz".

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TubbyGarfunkle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
🚨︎ report
Chores - Cyanide & Happiness Minis youtu.be/IAI88SA5u94
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/destructdisc
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Dracula is walking down a street in Transylvania when suddenly tons of sandwiches, mini sausage rolls, crisps, chicken wings and cocktail sausages fall on him...

Buried under all this food, his dying words were, "Oh no, it's Buffet the Vampire Slayer!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife wants a mini van.

I’d prefer a regular-size van we can actually fit in.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UsernameExMachina
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Why wont elves drive mini mokes?

Cause mokins an elf hazard

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crazylegs_Ohooley
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
🚨︎ report
We were driving our mini-van behind a truck carrying porta-potties and my wife said "It would suck if those fell off in front of us" and I said

"The shit would really hit the van then". snort

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KnivesMakeMe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
🚨︎ report
What mini Ryu shouts when he upper punches people?

"Shrunken"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sinebiryan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
🚨︎ report
mini cooper
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scottshott
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2015
🚨︎ report
We needed mini marshmallows for something and we didn't know how many we had

My dad says "I don't know if we have many, but we have some"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PlasticAnarchist
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Start collecting mini shots of different alcohol.

I'm going to make a mini bar.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NextGenBacon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
🚨︎ report
I had a Mini Coconut Pecan Wookie Cake today at lunch

It was a little chewie.

#MayThe4th dad jokes

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shadowfu
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my kids while playing mini golf

Me: "Golf is a game of patience." Daughter: "Well I don't like patience." Me: "You'd better not become a doctor, then!"

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ihazacorm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2014
🚨︎ report
When we got him a mini iPad for Christmas...

...I'd rather have this than a maxipad.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/livegoodtimes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
🚨︎ report
Vincent names his mini-van.

My good friend has a father named Vincent. Vincent always drives a van, and he gave his most recent van a name. He named it Vincent Van Go and often shouted "Vincent Van, Go!" before hitting the gas.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JackBmann
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.