23 Hilarious Plus Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I went to a restaurant, and the service was terrible. Plus they ran out of utensils.

I decided never to go back because they had zero forks to give.

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👤︎ u/bgva

📅︎ Mar 09 2021

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Remember that Europe only has a single plus.

That's Switzerland. 🇨🇭

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👤︎ u/DENelson83

📅︎ Feb 17 2021

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My 6 yr old son learning math: “Dad, what’s infinity plus infinity?”

Me: “I’m not sure, what is it?”

Son: “Two infinity...and beyond!”

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👤︎ u/fordskis

📅︎ Dec 04 2020

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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

👍︎ 12k

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👤︎ u/SamuraiSAM5

📅︎ Jul 08 2019

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How can two plus two be five?

By mistake!

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/NonchalantWanderer

📅︎ Oct 01 2020

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Right after being born, my newborn daughter wouldn't "latch" for her first feeding. So after 27-plus hours of labor and four hours of pushing, I looked at my poor, exhausted wife and said, "Looks like she's... resisting abreast."

My first official dad joke.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’ll be putting this in my little one’s Reddit Scholarship Fund!

👍︎ 12k

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👤︎ u/gaudiocomplex

📅︎ Jan 09 2019

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What do you call plus sized bees?

O-bees

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👤︎ u/tabrown223

📅︎ Jun 13 2020

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There has been some good news today as a plus-size clairvoyant announces they are releasing a charity calendar, with pictures of them in their underwear.

Fans of the psychic say that they are looking forward to seeing a large medium in smalls.

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👤︎ u/megamouth2

📅︎ Jun 08 2020

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But if they have a Switzerland flag, that's a big plus

👍︎ 4k

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👤︎ u/many_mean_comments

📅︎ Nov 28 2018

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What's blue plus blue?

Baby blue

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/Nialskey

📅︎ Nov 23 2019

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If a guy moves to a country because it's flag is big plus, but does not become a citizen of said country,

Does that make him Swede-ish?

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Feb 11 2020

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What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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👤︎ u/ruchi565

📅︎ Nov 08 2019

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My missis said, “i can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis!"

I replied, "That's 15 love!"

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👤︎ u/cotswoldboy

📅︎ Sep 23 2019

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A real plus

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👤︎ u/WafflyHorse9640

📅︎ May 01 2019

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I’ve been thinking of reasons to move to Switzerland and the flag is a big plus

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/yaboi79

📅︎ Jul 15 2019

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I took out my calculator and the plus button was missing.

Something doesn’t quite add up.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ May 01 2018

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Why did Apple celebrate the release of their plus-sized phone?

Because it was a huge 6s.

👍︎ 198

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👤︎ u/jpbrunette

📅︎ Jan 11 2017

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What did the plus sign say when it was surrounded by 4's?

"I eight when this happens"

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/GirlsUsedToDissMe

📅︎ Sep 05 2018

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What happened to google plus?

They google subtracted it.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/Origamibyameer1

📅︎ Oct 09 2018

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What do you call food plus entry to a festival for $8?

Fair fair fare & fare.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/hann1980

📅︎ Feb 24 2018

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Hey Raymond, are you bringing a plus one to the company party?

Just the wife, but she's more of a ten.

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/Capt-Redbeard

📅︎ Nov 11 2015

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My Dad responded to me pointing out his dad joke. Plus some knot humor.

Explaining how I learned to tie knots to work a high ropes course over text message

Me: It's nice and meditative, although it's frustrating not knowing how to dress a knot properly for awhile.

Eagle Scout Dad: You mean in a skirt? Or pants?

Me: Dad. You just dad joked me.

Eagle Scout Dad: Someone named Dad has to do it sometimes. Can't always be a meme.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/cyclicalthought

📅︎ Feb 04 2014

🚨︎ report

Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

👍︎ 41

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👤︎ u/DrunkRedditBot

📅︎ Jan 07 2020

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