I'm putting an addition on my roof.

It's a little room where I can sit and watch movies like The Godfather and Apocalypse Now.
It's a Francis Ford Cupola.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheREALProfPyro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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In addition to Taiwan, the US has also sold torpedoes to Vietnam. Rather than pay money, they traded with a huge bulk of food. The weapons are now called ...

Pho Ton Torpedoes.

(A consequence of reading a front page post about the sale to Taiwan while watching ST:TNG.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metalprof
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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In The Matrix, Neo's mother was good at addition

She knew how to carry The One

πŸ‘︎ 566
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πŸ‘€︎ u/polyworfism
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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Why does it feel so good to find the solution to addition problems?

The answer is always whole-sum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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My brother-in-law taught his offspring a seasoning that is an excellent addition to omelets and egg strata...

It was good father-son-thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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My teacher says I'm pretty good at addition but I'm terrible at subtraction.

I don't get the difference.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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Son: Dad, in math, does the word product mean to use addition?

Dad: No son, I think you need sum vocabulary lessons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jason_Boyd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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In addition to being a pacifist, Gandhi was a baker.

Because of this, he made a lot of Naan-violence.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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In addition to fixing customers shoes, the local cobbler moonlighted as a shoe salesman...

He often found old used shoes in thrift stores and re-soled them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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An Arabian camel wanted to race in the Kentucky Derby but couldn't because in addition to being a camel, he had a hump.

So he came up with a plan: he would have his hump removed surgically and run as a horse in the Derby. He went online and finally found a plastic surgeon who would do the operation. And lo and behold, the first time he entered the Derby he won by 20 lengths!
Back in the desert, every time a camel friend would come over, he would boast pompously about his win, talking about nothing else. Pretty soon, his friends stopped coming over. So he has to go to the camel bar to see them. Upon entering the bar, one of his tired friends says to another, "oh no! Here comes Hump free braggart."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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I can't believe my ex wanted the expanse of open rolling infertile land in addition to my trailer home...

She wanted my mansion and moor!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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My friend Adam was telling me how, in addition to marrying a hot super model whose daddy bought the house he lives in and the car he drives just for marrying his daughter, he was also sexing up a hot stewardess. I found it hard to believe...

Because Adams make up everything!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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The answer to an addition problem is the...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xdParagon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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Feeling a little low, I decided to peruse the local record shop for a new addition to my music collection.

Drifting down the alphabetised rock section, nothing really appealed to me from A-M. Disappointed, I moved around to the other side of the rack when suddenly I felt uplifted, content and at one with the universe. I had reached Nirvana.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yetanotherrob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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I read earlier that the zoo was installing an exercise equipment addition to the marine mammal exhibit to help make the animals stronger.

They're going to have a bunch of flex seals on their hands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchitzPopinov719
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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There’s a fine line between a division sign and a addition sign
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnortingLed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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What do you call a dog that loves addition?

a sum bitch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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I recently bought the perfect addition for my Batman themed bathroom...

... A bottle of Conditioner Gordon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_UR_F_SMILES
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
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β€ͺIn addition to themselves, some monarchs also refer to their liquid waste using plural pronouns.

It is, after all, the royal wee.‬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElLordHighBueno
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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How can you tell when the God of Thunder has been doing Addition?

It's easy: it stands out like a Thor Sum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuhnaydeein
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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At my brother's home addition

My brother was remodeling his house and a new bedroom was almost completed except for cleanup of sawdust, caulking, and other random construction leftover bits.

I grabbed a shop vac hose and began cleaning, making sure to point out that it made a pretty good caulk-sucker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bocephis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2015
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A geologist is showing off some the latest additions to her collection

when coincidentally another geologist passes by. These 'gems' catch his eyes. His curiosity becomes anger and he exclaims,

"I just had a few prized finds of my own go missing a few days ago. Where did you get these!?".

The other geologist replies, "Well, that's none of your Bismuth".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afrotronics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
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Sister's fiance is going to be a welcome addition to the family

Fiance: "I'm feeling a little bit light headed." -proceeds to put head into the hands of my sister as if hands were a scale.

I clapped for about 20 seconds and then gave him a hug.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAnanderson2034
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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Spicy thanksgiving dadjoke....and a bonus brother-in-law addition!

Honey, can you give me some sage advice on cutting the turkey? B-I-L addition: We'll give you some tyme.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ja647
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
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My teacher says I'm pretty good at addition but I'm terrible at subtraction.

I don't get the difference.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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