Can't spell punishment without pun
What do you call a bear without an ear?
What so you call Santa without a GPS?
Furiously honks car horn in the middle of no where without a car in sight.
Kids: looks up from their phones, “why did you do that for?”
Dad: “to scare away the elephants!”
Kids: “what elephants?!!”
Dad: “see it’s working!”
——
Thank you! Thank you very much!
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation.
It just doesn’t make any cents.
What do you call a dinosaur without gold?
What would a car without any gas be called in Madagascar?
A dermatologist who treats boils without charging...
...would be a freelancer.
If you tell a dad joke without being a father...
Would that be considered a faux Pa?
What do you call a Magician without magic?
I have to make dad jokes or I could lose my dad license. It's a thing called D-Law. If you're caught being a dad without a license? Well...
What is magnificent without silver?
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
How do you rob a house without being in it?
I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present
Cop: But you are the lawyer?
Me: Then where’s my present?
Without saran wrap or bread clips.
Our lives would be very stale
Two bananas married without realising they were from the same tree.
They really split over it. It was a really slippery ordeal and peeled them apart.
The wedding went off without a hitch.
The groom stormed off and all the guests started fighting.
I always know when my Indian flat bread is ready without looking.
Guess I'm a Naan prophet.
My wife spilled tea on herself, and without a moments hesitation, turned to me and said...
“I’ve tea’d myself!”
Proud hubby here!
I went shopping at Coles to buy Mayonnaise, but they said it was illegal to buy without cabbage and carrots.
Without anything to secure it, and unbeknownst to the driver, the trailer careened off the side of the road
It went off without a hitch
Without people that aren't dads posting dad jokes here
What kind of clothing should a sheriff at work not go anywhere without?
My friend asks if it is okay to park without paying. I told him, “don’t worry.”
My friend put a bunch of laxatives into my food without me knowing.
With friends like that, who needs enemas?
The word QUINTESSENCE without S and N is just QUITEECE.
It loses its SN’s.
(I don’t know why I made this terrible joke)
What does a beer taste without yeast in it?
What do you call a person without a body or nose?
What do you call a snowman without testicles?
My friend fell down a flight of steps then started looking at me without breaking eye contact...
I'm not sure why he was stairing.
What do you call a fish fry without fish?
What do you call a cow without legs?
A pig without 3.14 is 9.8
So fellow dads, 3.14 is the value of pi and 9.8 is the value of gravity (G)
Hmm
What sound does a bear without a ear make?
When I'm reading, I hate the silence, but music with words is too distracting., so I always play music without it.
It's instrumental to my comprehension.
My wife, Ming, told me, "You would look more professional without that funny bow tie." I have to wear it though. I explained to her, "My jokes aren't funny without...
You'd think snails would be faster without their shells.
But they're actually a bit more sluggish.
Wolverine walks in on Jean Grey sneezing without covering her mouth..
What do you call a bear without teeth?
What do you call a bear without ears?
Me: I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present, Cop: You ARE the lawyer
Me: So where’s my present?!
If you tell a dad joke without having any kids
What do you call a nose without a body?
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