Can't spell punishment without pun
You would think that a snail without a shell would move that bit faster..?
but it's actually more sluggish..
My granddaugter today (she's 8) How did the man breath underwater for so long without help?
He put a glass of water on his head!
It's the first time I have been able to see and hug her in over a year, and she made me so proud!
*Edit: So many typos in my title.
I want you to be "Br" but without the bro.
Without Bill,
Melinda will be just an ionaire.
To all ya'll in Texas without tap water
What do you call a fly without wings?
A beach uncluttered by man-made constructions is truly without pier.
What do you call a dog without legs?
It doesn't matter what you call it, he's not coming.
U2’s first few albums have been remastered without the guitars on them.
It certainly takes the Edge off them.
My girlfriend said :- You got vasectomy without even telling me . Are you serious ?
I said :- I am not kidding you
Did you hear about the lightbulbs that are getting sent to jail without a trial?
It's a lumen rights violation!
A person sees someone walking in the street without a mask. Frustrated, he goes up to him, stops at two meters away and angrily mutters through his mask,
"People like you make me sick!".
What do you call Detective Sherlock without a house
You get nowhere in life without taking a Risk, officer.
That’s why I robbed the board game store.
Scientists just found a new species of bears without ears. They are called...
The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
What do you call it when you slap a rock without consent?
Where do you find a dog without legs?
Right where you left him.
What do you do with a dog without legs?
You drag it around the block
What do you call a magician without magic?
I crossed the border into Mexico without much hassle. Crossing it a second time was fine too, but on the third time a guard stopped me and said “Sorry
Our Chinese food came without any cookies…
People reprimanded me for telling dad jokes without having children,
I apologized, it was Faux pa
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
After watching Zack Synder's Cut vs Joss Whedon I can say without a doubt that...
Zack was leagues ahead of Joss
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef.
(My Dad was very excited to tell me this during our video chat tonight)
Never make love to a thin piece of wood without using protection.
If you forget, you might get a veneereal disease.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I am worried she won’t be able to pull it off.
You are in a cold room without any blanket and Sweater what will you do?
Go to the corners because it's 90° there.
What can you hold without touching it?
Why is Haiti spelt without an e?
I told my dad that Derren Brown looks better without hair
He said "That's a bald claim"
Mary was born without a uterus
It was immaculate contraception
"I sold my car to a guy without airbags," said my friend.
I said, "I don't know any guys that come with airbags."
I can’t believe my wife named our son Left without consulting me
Somebody I know wanted to use an abacus for exponents without knowing how
I don’t think it’s a good idea, but all the power to him
What kind of cat passes an exam without studying?
What do you call a bear without an ear?
How do you go a whole day without sleeping?
You just sleep at night.
My boss's kid told told him this this morning. lol
It's really hard to sail without much wind
Even though everyone says it's a breeze.
Why can't people without legs drink milk
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.
The salesman at the furniture store told me, "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problem."
I said, "Where the fuck am I going to find 5 people without any problems?"
The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
Where do you find a Dog without legs?
What do you call a fly without wings?
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