Because it can get a little slippery out there.
Half a watermelon
K9P.
...their Endor pets.
I’ll see myself out
Its a pretty good deal
(credit: Groucho Marx)
I’d Pick Nick.
I'm cloisterphobic
"...mountains peak!"
I almost stepped in a poodle.
I texted "Oh Pun the Door"
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Fined dining.
I thought I'd just put the Fila's out there
You go outside and it is cold.
Turns out he was full of shit.
They’re in tents
I guess she is more of a house cat
Because it's accrual world out there.
Now she barks out of both ends.
I Guess You Could Say I'm Under House Arrest.
Icy how it is...
Me, to my two boys: "Hazel tried to escape, but I rescued her!...Or....should I say captured her?"
Boy 1: (pronunciation) "cap- CHURR!"
Boy 2: "Or... You CAT-tured her!"
Boy 1: "No, you CAT cat-ture Hazel!"
His name is Detail. Cuz I de-tailed him by accident.
The mailman responded with, "And a good afternoon to you, Femalewoman!"
Literature.
But I’m pretty sure I’m still in the US
The Warden said "he's a little condescending"
Guardian of the galaxy
The poster reads:
"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."
The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and decides to humour it, pulling up a chair and a computer with a word processor. "Alright, if you want to work here, you need to first write a letter," and leaves the room.
30 minutes later, he comes back in, and the dog has typed out a completely error-free letter.
"Well, I'll be. This is a smart dog. But can he program?" he asks himself.
20 minutes pass, and the dog has made a perfectly running website for the store.
He looks, shocked, at the dog, and finally speaks. "Look, I know you have the qualifications, but, well... you're a dog."
The dog nudges the words "We are an equal opportunity employer." on the poster, and the manager sighs.
"There's no way you're bilingual."
The dog looks him in the eyes, and says, "Meow."
Then the owner came out giving free burgers and hotdogs to everybody there.
It was the best barber queue ever!
With Saddle-Lights!
Two fish got battered
Looks like I’ve taken a tern for the wurst.
I'm afraid I'll wear it out.
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
Gone. Fission.
Carbon Dioxide
“Yeah, I’m outstanding.”
K9P.
When you go outside and it’s cold.
K9-Pee
They’re Endor pets.
With saddle lights!
