25 Hilarious On the Outside Puns

True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling “I stepped on a Bee!”

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

👍︎ 11k

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👤︎ u/AlwaysTheAsshole1234

📅︎ Mar 07 2021

🚨︎ report

If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?

K9P

👍︎ 915

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👤︎ u/OwenJthomas89

📅︎ Mar 14 2021

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I just heard an announcement on a loud speaker outside my home saying, "If you invest 50$ just once, you can sit and eat for the rest of your life".

I went out and saw the idiot; he was selling chairs.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/ilessthanthreenyc

📅︎ Feb 09 2021

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What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H

Half a watermelon

👍︎ 11

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👤︎ u/stressedbybooks9999

📅︎ Jan 06 2021

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I went to get a haircut on Saturday but the line outside was huge when l got there.

Then the owner came out giving free burgers and hotdogs to everybody there.

It was the best barber queue ever!

👍︎ 21

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👤︎ u/Texgymratdad

📅︎ Aug 31 2020

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I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...

...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/KW-DadJoker

📅︎ Aug 05 2020

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What did the sign say on the outside of a brothel when it was closed?

Beat it

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Brock_Walker

📅︎ Jul 21 2020

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Posted on a sign outside the gynecologist's office:

Dr. Jones - at your cervix

👍︎ 25

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👤︎ u/Kennedystyle

📅︎ Feb 12 2020

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This morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?

So he walks out the front door , comes back in and says both.

👍︎ 44

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👤︎ u/MsAzizaGoatinsky

📅︎ Jan 08 2020

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My mother’s boss spelt this on the sign outside the nearby nursery (not gonna lie I think it’s actually pretty funny)

👍︎ 100

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👤︎ u/FireFlower85

📅︎ Mar 20 2019

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When you’re outside the bathroom, you’re an American. What are you when you’re on the inside?

European

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/AsianSoccerGuy

📅︎ Aug 18 2019

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I bet they’re better dancers too 😂 a take on the song Pretty Fly for a White Guy. Found outside a local flower/plant shop OC

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/ShayButter420

📅︎ Jun 15 2019

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My child was setting up a science homework project on the dinner table. I swiped the table clean and threw the table outside. He asked "what was that for?"

I said, it's a periodic table. You cant use it right now.

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/InspectorBugNuts

📅︎ Jul 16 2019

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"I'm going to move into the outside lane," said my wife, while driving on the motorway.

I said, "Technically, they're all outside lanes."

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi

📅︎ Dec 10 2018

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A fireman was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon, with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle...

The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and cat.

"That sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman said with admiration.

"Thanks!" the girl replied.

The fireman looked a little closer and noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

The fireman said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Oct 29 2017

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I know on the outside I look competent, but deep down I have a debilitating fear that I'm actually in a bowl of spaghetti…

I guess you could say I have In-pasta Syndrome...

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/intricate3

📅︎ Jan 31 2017

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Ribs were finally done, my friends dad goes outside on the deck to yell to us, "Ribs are done! Everybody come."

"But not on me"

He wasn't a very good role model.

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/worldDev

📅︎ Sep 24 2013

🚨︎ report

If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside?

K9P

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/professorf

📅︎ Mar 19 2021

🚨︎ report

If H2O is on the inside of fire hydrants, what’s on the outside?

K9P

👍︎ 90

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👤︎ u/thepenguinja

📅︎ Feb 06 2021

🚨︎ report

If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?

K9P.

👍︎ 507

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Nov 01 2020

🚨︎ report

If H20 is inside a fire hydrant, what's on the outside?

K9P.

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Dec 04 2020

🚨︎ report

If H2O is inside a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?

K9-Pee

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/GigaMike123

📅︎ Nov 06 2020

🚨︎ report

If a fire hydrant has H2O on the inside, what does it have on the outside?

K9P

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/Long-Afternoon

📅︎ May 15 2020

🚨︎ report

If a fire hydrant has H2O on the inside, what does it have on the outside?

K9P

👍︎ 75

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👤︎ u/meatbag_289

📅︎ Oct 07 2019

🚨︎ report

There's H20 on the inside of a fire hydrant, but what's on the outside?

K9P

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/MajorRobotnik

📅︎ Oct 06 2019

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