I need bread puns for any scenario. I really want one for a greeting like saying hello with 🍞. Thank you.
hey guys my team is deciding on a team name on Thursday and I thought I could consult the pun masters of reddit to get the ball rolling. The name usually dictates the theme our team has for the competition and the name is usually a pun of toboggan or sled, previous examples jursled park, this one time at bogg camp, Indiana jones and the raiders of the lost sled. obviously these aren't the best puns so I feel like getting a good one would really sell it this year. thanks!
Context: There is an upcoming 250 piece puzzle-making competition at work where teams compete to be the fastest puzzle-solvers. It is a corporate activity. I'm writing the invitation to be distributed and I want to get people participating. Help!
Throwaway here... But what puns come to mind that you'd say to your best girlfriend to make playful fun to her about her boobs?
I need a pun that has to do with either hands/arms/fingers + Cajun cuisine.
Really stumped on this one.
Trying to think of a name for a shop that sells healthy protein shakes but has a hooters-like atmosphere. I am usually good with this kind of thing. But I'm all shook up.
Guys and Gals! I am bored at work and want to practice my drawing, give me pun ideas to illustrate!, I cant guarantee they will be good but ill endevour to try to draw every suggestion and reply with a picture!
Ok, so it was valentines day and a guy says "well its lovely to see you again", is it a pun? I am under the impression it's a loose one, but I hate it so much that I think I've been blinded into thinking it's not. Valentine's/ "lovely"....
Hello fathers and fellow lovers of dadjokes! I am in need of your collective wit. You see, my friends did not get the hint that it was a bad idea to do this last time, and yet have foolishly asked me to house sit for them again. I've decided to prank them again (because I'm a wonderful friend), and this time I am turning their house into a house of puns. I need puns I can practically make. Here are a couple examples:
"While you guys were out I think your milk went bad..." draw on milk carton a bandanna, scruff, and a gun tucked into its logo
Move any of their jars in front of their bedroom door.
A map starting from their router.
Things like that. They have a pool, two labs, but otherwise have a pretty standard living arrangement. However, I don't want to mess with their computers as their occupations have some sensitive materials on them.
I struggled with what sub to reach out too with this post, so thank you all who reddit. You're fantastic folk, the lot of you!
BF- “ Our relationship is what? Over.”
Because one more would be too farty.
A homie-hoe-stasis if you will.
That is not a good sign.
Give me your best golf/pirate puns. All I can think of is High Tees (high seas) or something about a hook.
I just need a very short pun involving space and dinosaurs to go on the cover of an adventure book im writing for kids.
"A roarsome adventure" is too cliche and I'd like space to be featured somewhere. But there isn't a lot of room.
Thanks for any help, don't worry about them being dumb as a dumb pun could inspire a decent one :)
But I really don't see the problem
I replied: I can’t! Im addicted, how can I quit?
She said “any means necessary”
“No it doesn’t” I replied
Ok, How about 10 tomorrow?
No, I dont need that many.
The current version has a nasty virus
But, I think everyone would come as surgeons.
This is the part that may need work...
You are tasked with making an advertisement for an amusement park, however you want to make it to STOP people from coming to the carnival... I'm curious to see your advertisements, also try to keep the jokes under 50 words.
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
I just don’t carrot all.
She said no, just above the knees.
My response: "144? That's a gross"
Driving home from the beach last week, my son said he'd like to sky dive. I told him he was crazy. And (here's where we need help) said "I'm not scared of heights". I said "neither am I. I'm scared of widths". We both laughed and couldn't decide if it was indeed a dad joke or not.
Use the block to play your guitar really hard...
Cheesy I know, but I think it's gouda
because if you serve it warm it would be justwater
A second hand watch
When going through some of my deceased father's things, I found a card that says "Gold Mouse Story" and "Do you have a little gold Mexican?". This is sort of a shorthand he used to jot down jokes on index cards - a short description and the punchline.
I have no idea what this might refer to so I am asking here. Does this sound familiar? I apologize in advance if it turns out to be racist!
I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!
A premeditated murder
Because they constantly have the flew
It won’t stand up on its own anymore
It’s two tired
Me, eyebrow raised: “And why is that sweetheart?”
Her: “Because mine has a crack in it!”
I actually laughed. I don’t really know where she heard the joke or if she even knows why it’s funny, but it’s a good start to the day.
Proud dad moment.
My gf is on her period. I have been telling her all day period puns and jokes. I am all out and i need your help
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Because its having trouble focusing
(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)
well i made a discord bot and i added a dadjoke command. welp nobody was enjoying the lack of dad jokes. any one got some good dad jokes?
It’s for a discord bot I’m going to put in a server full of people who could use some dad jokes
Or are you covered?
Customer: Cargo space?
Car salesman: Car no go space, car go road.
It's easy to get carried away.
Our slogan would be, “The only acceptable way to be burned at the steak.”
I told him, "My door is always open".
My sister went to hospital after stepping on a nail.
I really wanna barrage her with pun after pun when she comes home.
Any help is really appreciated.
Sorry, but all I have is, I need ADOORable puns.
Thank you guys, keep it coming!