Am I right ?
We recently discovered mice in our pantry. Everyone’s advice? Get a cat. Apparently they are stone cold killers.
We made some calls and learned from our vet that they had two cats that need to be rehomed. I agreed to take them sight unseen. I think it’s a boy and girl but I don’t actually know. We pick them up next week.
We want to instill the right spirit into our mercenaries by naming them after famous murderers, but want to lighten the mood with puns.
So far we have come up with Jeffrey Paw-er but we are certain our Reddit friends can do better. We need male and female options. I understand one cat is black and the other is a brown mix.
We need help coming up with names, anyone up for the challenge??
If you don’t, they’ll just go in one year and right out the other.
Because they cant C#.
They’re free range archers now.
Boy: Okay, what's your Volume?
"What's the equation? (occasion)"
Because its having trouble focusing
She asks him why and he said, “my heartburn’s for you”
I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...
PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?
I need to think of a punny group chat name that works with buff or buffs (like buffalo). Something like “powerbuff girls” I’ve been thinking for days. Let’s here em!
Alaska question
Anyone have any tips?
How do I deal with someone who is being so incense-ative?
So a health expo is coming up for my university and I am part of the nephrology stall. We need a good slogan and some cool puns to attract people. All ideas are welcome. Thanks!
‘I have 10 nails but I’d rather not hit them with a hammer.’ -me
Fishizzle!
Here is what i need help with. I seen a some fishing gear with the name "fishizzle" and lighting struck! Has anyone heard this one before? Did I just make a OC dad joke? If so Is it "dad joke" worthy? I really hope so becuase I just sent this to my daughter.
Thanks in advance.
I need to be kinder.
It would mean a lot!
To the lone wolf
The shoes he brought were indeed comfy. But I can't get over the fact that I was moc-ed.
But after the first prototype, that's out the window
A guy walks into a store and asks an employee where the bug spray is.
The employee, who just so happened to be currently stocking bug spray, tells the customer it's right here.
The guy then thanks the employee but then asks him to recommend one as he is not sure which one is better.
The employee smiles, then pulls a can of bug spray off the shelf and tells the guy that this is a good one and one of their best sellers.
The guy looks unsure, so the employee asks if something is wrong with it.
The guy replies that he's not sure but it feels like something is Off about this brand.
(Explanation: there is a bug spray brand called Off)
I need as many puns/jokes involving the name Emma as possible. I realize this isn't exactly what this sub is for, but I am desperate.
Greeting, I'm the MC at a small high school soccer banquet this evening and need some humor help. I play rugby and my son plays soccer so any little digs I can get about that would be helpful too. We are American and I don't know any pro soccer player so please refrain on specific players. Thanks in advance.
I'll sleep on it.
Do I play it off cool.
I can’t do this on my provolone
My dad had knee surgery yesterday And my wife made some cookies, she wants to write some witty knee jokes on them with frosting and we "kneed" your help! Thank you in advance all your beautiful people !
