Wife said she knew someone who has three BMW's in their name!

I said that must be hard to pronounce.

Que eye rolls from her, laughter from my friends.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flameboy42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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My next door neighbour has just bought an Audi, a Toyota and a 2 BMWs.

I think he’s got that car owner virus.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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Dad pulled this one when we saw a BMW M5 pass by

-"Hey what car is that? I think it was an M5!"

-"Isn't that the British Secret Service?"

-"No, that's MI6."

-"No, you're not six, you're twenty!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/musicguy2341
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2014
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This one gave me a good chuckle
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Emmet_Brown
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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Really crappy joke:

So I went to my neighbour, who was an old lady. I said to her : Would you like some help around the house

She said : Oh yes, you can paint my porch

I came back to her 2 hours later and then said: Well, I’m done, but just to let you know, it’s a BMW, not a Porsche.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReggieCactus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Dad got my sister just now.

Dad: "So we finally put the BMW up on AutoTrader."

Sis: "Oh, wow. What'd you put it up for?"

Dad: "Well, we were thinking about selling it."

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ‘€︎ u/m4cktheknife
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2017
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Overheard from a couple of middle schoolers that left me confused

#1: Hey, can you spell BMW?

#2: Uhh sure... BEW.

#1: BEW? Where'd you get the E from?

#2: From the middle.

Note: I have little to no background to this. From what I gathered, #1 was trolling and #2 decided to troll back with a quality dad retort.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuebic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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Friend's dad in response to car troubles

Friend's mom was talking about the high cost of her BMW's repair. "It was $1,500! For the freon!"

Friend's dad "Well nothing's fre-on a BMW!"

The two of us doubled over laughing; no one else caught it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/officialskylar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2014
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While going to Class...

My dad's a doctor / teacher and his workplace was close to my university, so he often took me to class in this busted '83 BMW-320 which he bought brand new. This one time he arranged for one of his former students (John, now teacher as well) to take us, and he shows up in a brand new Audi A4. We get out of the car and i ask him:

-"Dad, how come John has a brand new Audi A4 and you're still driving the same busted car you've had since I was born?"

-"John doesn't have any children."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/salazarb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2014
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Golfing with my dad

My dad who is an avid golfer steps up to the first tee today and says "You know why they call me BMW?"

Me: Why?

He proceeds to crush his drive down the middle of the fairway and says "because I'm the ultimate driving machine".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bethrin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2014
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Sitting in the living room

Dad asking me which car makers I liked better Dad: Audi or Cadi Me:Audi Dad:Audi or BMW Me:Audi Dad:Audi or innie crickets

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boombotser
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2014
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