I bought a microphone in England for a penny

I call it Mike Pence.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PoopsMcWillie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Jane: I miss England.

Tarzan: Me no understand. You win beauty pageant?

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?

They're called Durham Durham

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/les_oueff
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
In England, they eat two eggs for breakfast..

But in France, one egg is un ouef.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/huuhhhh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
People are not happy with Englands new COVID policy.

The whole country is in tiers

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/larrydavid1987
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m driving through England, and am supposed to stay in Greenwich for a day or two.

Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the Queen (of England) stay so thin?

She keeps all her pounds in the bank.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was it so hard to go to church in England after WWII?

They were Church-ill

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/benfrank01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Paddy and his wife are on holiday in England visiting Historical Sites.

"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."

"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.

"1215," said the tour guide.

"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I am driving through England on a road trip, and I’m supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.

Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
England doesn't have a kidney bank,

but it does have a Liverpool.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...

... guess you could say he sleighed it

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arctic_Womble
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
The Amish have begun moving to New England.

They will be called Mainennites.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insanechef58
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
After the borders reopen I am going to visit Greenwich, England!!!

There is a lot that I want to accomplish in The Mean Time!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rgapinski
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
In England, if you pay money to live in a toilet, you can tell people you're a loo tenant
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Croe01
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Who was England’s first chiropodist?

William The Corn-curer

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elguereaux
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Does England have a 4th of July?

Of coarse they do, it doesn’t jump from July 3rd to July 5th.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisprater6986
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a manager in New England and a fish have in common?

They’re both basses.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neobloodsin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
England doesn't have a kidney bank

But they do have a Liverpool.

Overheard my neighbour telling this joke to his kid.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sathri
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a cook from Nothern England say when he leaves?

"Ta-ra, gone!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maud_brijeulin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
€pe missing England
πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPresident235
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of tea does the queen of England drink?

Royal tea

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Give_Help_Please
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
To be honest the queen of England is old

She must drink imortali-tea

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/humansizedfruit69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that the queen of England has the largest breasts of the world?

She has teacups

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grobtheweirdo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Spider-Man’s name in England?

Kilometers Morales

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mush_Tilly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is the queen of England rich?

Because of all her royal tea's.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Choiceofart
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A company that makes powerful pick up trucks in a northern city of England started by a famous Icelandic electronic pop artist.

It's BjΓΆrk's York Torque Corp.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dhdoctor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Just like England
πŸ‘︎ 559
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatGuyBert0704
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a steak knighted by the queen of England?

Sir Loin.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
If the Queen of England farts during dinner, the rest of the guests must pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 112
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If Ke$ha moved to England...

...would she be KeΒ£ha?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PheaglesFan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I went fishing in the North of England with Kurt Cobain's widow

And said to her "Cought any love?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/radishfacejake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
An American went to England and had a question.

American: "Why is your wheel on the wrong side?'

English man responds: "No, the steering wheel is on the right side."

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sadhans
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the cleanest city in England?

Bath

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
When the queen of England has a project and finance it herself. Is it called crownfunding ?
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ohzioh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The Church of England has finally approved of female bishops.

Now British women are finally free to move diagonally.

πŸ‘︎ 141
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Why aren't there any penguins in England?

Because they're scared of Wales

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hairychris88
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between the Queen of England and a computer cable?

One's a British WASP, and the other is a USB.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dad really messed up his wrists dragging his car from England to France.

He got car-pull-tunnel syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Peteman22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m driving through England and am supposed to stop in Greenwich tomorrow.

Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m driving through England, and am scheduled to pass through Greenwich tomorrow.

Not too sure what to do in the meantime.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't you ever see penguins in England?

They're afraid of Wales

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CasperWithAJ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Which King of England took a gap year before university?

Richard Deferred.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mtcarr79
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I am driving through England, and I’m supposed to go to Greenwich tomorrow.

Any ideas what to do in the Mean Time?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The Queen of England dropped some valuable cards in the toilet.

They call it the royal flush.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
England doesn't have a kidney bank...

But it does have a Liverpool.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report
England doesn't have a kidney bank. But it does have a Liverpool.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Panda2377
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
England doesn't have a kidney bank but it has a Liverpool
πŸ‘︎ 737
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eternalrocket
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.