uplifting content with lame goat pun lol
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/memoryisnotRAM
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Need more "BAAAAAAAAAD" goat puns I have some but need more because there too funny
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoppo999
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Goat pun (x-post /r/HIMYM)
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StarManta
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2013
🚨︎ report
Would you rather eat a baby goat or a madder baby?

Them: what’s a madder baby?

Me: Nothing sugar, what’s a matter with you? 😏


Sorry if this might be a repost, I didn’t make it up but it’s one of my favorite dad jokes of all time. It’s really funny when you get someone aggressive whose like β€œwhat the fucks a madder baby?”

E: added the emoji cuz it’s good to give a sly smirk to finish it off. Also this works MUCH better in person

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DwelveDeeper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
So the Adult Goat Says To His Son:

"Okay kid, you goat-to-go see the other animals on the farm. And I don't wanna see you chicken out about it this time."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Namethatpig
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
Some people eat baby goats!!!

We need to protect the kids!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roktyv
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
What do you call a goat that sweeps a woman off her feet?

A Flattering Ram

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cracksniffer666
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
Would you rather be a baby goat or a matter baby!

β€œWhat’s a matter baby?”

β€œNothin’ much, what’s a matter with you honey?”

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juliemariesmith3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
What did the other goats say about the baby goat of unwed parents?

"That kid's a baaaaaastard!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTimeDictator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
What did the papa goat say to the momma goat when she was giving birth? /r/Jokes/comments/fit7gv/…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?

A chupacabro.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Phransisco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
You wanna know what gets ma goat

El chupacabra

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kingjackal7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
Dad: Would you rather kill a goat or a matter baby? Daughter: What’s a matter baby?

Dad:Nothing, what’s the matter with you?

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jxngles
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you ask a goat to be a DJ?

A sick bleat.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
You know what really gets my goat???

El Chupacabra.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aquariusdon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
Being a goat who jokes a lot I often get different responses.

But I prefer, "Take my upvote and leaf".

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
I mean... I guess whatever floats your goat.
πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClubTactical
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I adopted a goat for my son called Roxanne.

"I wish you'd called me something else," he often says.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why the goat crossed the road?

The chicken was on strike.

My dad just told me this. No one laughed, and he was like, β€œyou get it?”

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A goat milk company's new slogan: goat milk?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jimgatz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Who called it a goat petting zoo...

and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyOnTheStreet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Found this on 4chan (one of the rules said it has to be explained, instead of goat should be got)
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/normalperson4382
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the baby goat say to his father?

I kid you not.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chubako61
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?

Gracias

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MJBGaming
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me

It was a ram-done act of violence

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Timmy_O-Llugh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do goats eat?

Goatmeal.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NOTscorpi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What ever floats your goats
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Deathlysin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the name of those half-goat people in mythology? Usually depicted with a pan flute? They use fiction as a way to write scathing commentary about the world?

Oh, right. Satires.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/My_Internet_Voice
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the Billy goat cross the road.

Eilish I knew.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kenyacoffee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Johnny is in class learning about animals and the teacher asks, β€œcan anyone tell me what other name for dwarf goats go by?” Johnny’s hand shot up:

Ooh ooh Pygmy!! Pygmy!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilmd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s all goat
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/akerrigan777
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What city has 3/7 of chicken 2/3 of cat 2/4 of goat?

Chicago

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/conbeanaman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?

β€œNot in front of the kids!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatjamoco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does a goat and a rhino wants to have sex?

Because they are both very horny animals.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigshark2740
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross human DNA with goat DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Frank_Von_Beef
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend wanted to try pizza made with goat cheese instead of cow derived.

I didn't think it was a gouda idea.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Matty_EINZ
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A reality tv show about gifted kids called America’s Goat Talent
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WharfRat87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with goats.

Meh.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I heard the best joke from a goat

I kid you not

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jexxterio
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you inject human DNA into a goat?

Removed from the petting zoo.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NinjaOttsel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a goat call his girlfriend?

Bae.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gastro_destiny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Goat Rider
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/manishrc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Goats don't instinctively know, and have to find out for themselves, that if you sleep with a jackass, mule regret it.
πŸ‘︎ 281
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pnewell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
🚨︎ report
I love goats...

I have since I was a kid.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a goat's favorite organ?

A Kid-ney

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IcyEevee412
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you inject human DNA into goat DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo :(

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scorchedgoat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.

That's how you get kidnapped.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/air28uk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?

The had a hootenanny

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuba_phone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Dear, It is ok to laugh when goats give birth.

They are just kidding.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/doogy650
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?

She’s a real kidder.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Infuser
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Not about goats

My dad when learning my sister in law is pregnant: You're kidding.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mel_rahzi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
GOAT

So I asked a goat how she's doing and she said

Mehhhh.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatindiandood
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Is stealing goats a felony offense?

Only for young goats - then it's kidnapping.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.

The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zephyrcoco
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What type of goat that has floppy ears and becomes an amateur on using the internet?

a Nubian

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BoogsterSU2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
you just goat to believe
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/akenne
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Want to know how I escaped from a herd of goats that chased me across Iraq's eastern border?

I ran.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/solomonsaysgo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?

I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Jimmy2
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I got drunk and went to a petting zoo with my buddy and came across some goats...

... The sign on their pen said their names were Michael and Wayne.

My friends said, "Those names are kind of dumb, I think they could have done better."

A man standing with his two young daughters turned to my friend and said, "Really? They're the Greatest Of All Time."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ngtstkr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
🚨︎ report
You wanna know what really gets my goat?

El chupacabra

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/white_android
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I was going to let a baby goat tell a joke for me but decided against it.

I kid you not.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spokandyland
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What is a goats favorite breakfast?

Goatmeal

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neverexs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What ever floats your goat
πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HoneyDune
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
🚨︎ report
What happens when you mix goat DNA with human DNA?

You get kicked out of the petting zoo.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fiddelstixman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
🚨︎ report
People keep saying goat cheese is the best, but...

I think a lot of cheeses are feta than goat, you'd agree as you as you Edam. You don't know what you're SWISSing out on. It'd Brie a shame if you never tried them.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theycallmeDamon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My coworker's goat is pregnant

She has been checking on her constantly. Finally today she yells "She's kidding!" and I mutter, you never get that excited about my jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mydrunktwinsister
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?

A milky baa kid.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IrishViking_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
🚨︎ report
A misunderstood goat

I once had a goat. One that nobody understood why he did the things he did, and he resented us all for it. So much so that he would head butt and attack anyone that tried to get close. He was just such a misunderstood soul. One day, I was looking out the window with my morning coffee when I saw that a passing stranger was sitting atop that old and rusted '55 Chevy pickup that sat in the pasture petting the goat. The goat had finally found someone that really understood him. I watched amazed as this stranger reached a closeness with the goat that I myself would never know . "Wow" I whispered to myself, "that man really gets my goat..."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/auzzy2387
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2013
🚨︎ report
My neighbor's baby goats...

...are always running around breaking stuff and causing havoc. Some people's kids...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elddirkcin
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who herds young goats?

He's great with kids

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinaron
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
🚨︎ report
I wonder how they goat there.
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ask-a-physicist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2015
🚨︎ report
What do goats do before they eat?

They bow their heads and bray.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeechipmunk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2017
🚨︎ report
I wanted to install Goat Simulator on my PC...

But I don't have the ram.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IvanExplanation
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the all sheep and goat cast of Casablanca?

The movie's signature line was "here's looking at ewe kid."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
🚨︎ report
We were feeding goats at the zoo

One bigger goat was headbutting the smaller ones, and I had to say:

"Most of these are billy goats, but that one's a bully goat"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eugene171
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2016
🚨︎ report
My co-worker tried goat soup today and wasn't to fond of it.

I asked if it was ba-a-a-ad.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlashGordon07
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2016
🚨︎ report
The funny thing about baby goats is...

... that they're always kidding around!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2016
🚨︎ report
He got my goat.

Dad: Bye, kidlets! Have a good day at school! Me: Don't call me that, it makes me feel like a goat. Dad: Oh, it's not that baaa-aaaad.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thesquirrelpoop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2014
🚨︎ report
She wanted to know if it was the goats or the children screaming

I told her it was definitely the kids.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/petticoatwar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2015
🚨︎ report
I told my dad my son sounds like a goat when he cries.

Response? "He's just a little kid."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/haileybop
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2015
🚨︎ report
I told my Scottish mum that I got Goat Simulator.

She replied with "You've goat tae be kiddin' me!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnybobbob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Passed some goats on the way home from taking my daughters fishing...

Oldest: "Aww, a baby!"

Me: "Really? You've goat to be kidding me!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ohmbience
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2014
🚨︎ report
Dads and goats

Just showed my dad a picture on /r/aww of that cute baby goat today.

Dad: What is that??

Me: It's a baby goat! Isn't that so cute?

Dad: You're KIDding me, right?

And of course proceeds to howl in laughter at his genius. Oh, you...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Emmojojojo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
🚨︎ report
I love goats cheese

I used to have it as a kid

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Do you know what really gets my goat?

el chupacabra

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zardif
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
🚨︎ report

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