They're always living on the bleating edge.
Them: what’s a madder baby?
Me: Nothing sugar, what’s a matter with you? 😏
Sorry if this might be a repost, I didn’t make it up but it’s one of my favorite dad jokes of all time. It’s really funny when you get someone aggressive whose like “what the fucks a madder baby?”
E: added the emoji cuz it’s good to give a sly smirk to finish it off. Also this works MUCH better in person
"Okay kid, you goat-to-go see the other animals on the farm. And I don't wanna see you chicken out about it this time."
A Flattering Ram
“What’s a matter baby?”
“Nothin’ much, what’s a matter with you honey?”
"That kid's a baaaaaastard!"
Dad:Nothing, what’s the matter with you?
A sick bleat.
But I prefer, "Take my upvote and leaf".
"I wish you'd called me something else," he often says.
The chicken was on strike.
My dad just told me this. No one laughed, and he was like, “you get it?”
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
I kid you not.
It was a ram-done act of violence
Oh, right. Satires.
Eilish I knew.
Ooh ooh Pygmy!! Pygmy!!
“Not in front of the kids!”
Because they are both very horny animals.
Kicked out of the petting zoo
Removed from the petting zoo.
I didn't think it was a gouda idea.
Kicked out of the petting zoo :(
They are just kidding.
That's how you get kidnapped.
The had a hootenanny
She’s a real kidder.
So I asked a goat how she's doing and she said
My dad when learning my sister in law is pregnant: You're kidding.
Only for young goats - then it's kidnapping.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
The Space Goat.
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
... The sign on their pen said their names were Michael and Wayne.
My friends said, "Those names are kind of dumb, I think they could have done better."
A man standing with his two young daughters turned to my friend and said, "Really? They're the Greatest Of All Time."
I kid you not.
You get kicked out of the petting zoo.
She has been checking on her constantly. Finally today she yells "She's kidding!" and I mutter, you never get that excited about my jokes.
I think a lot of cheeses are feta than goat, you'd agree as you as you Edam. You don't know what you're SWISSing out on. It'd Brie a shame if you never tried them.
I once had a goat. One that nobody understood why he did the things he did, and he resented us all for it. So much so that he would head butt and attack anyone that tried to get close. He was just such a misunderstood soul. One day, I was looking out the window with my morning coffee when I saw that a passing stranger was sitting atop that old and rusted '55 Chevy pickup that sat in the pasture petting the goat. The goat had finally found someone that really understood him. I watched amazed as this stranger reached a closeness with the goat that I myself would never know . "Wow" I whispered to myself, "that man really gets my goat..."
...are always running around breaking stuff and causing havoc. Some people's kids...
He's great with kids
They bow their heads and bray.
But I don't have the ram.
The movie's signature line was "here's looking at ewe kid."
One bigger goat was headbutting the smaller ones, and I had to say:
"Most of these are billy goats, but that one's a bully goat"
I asked if it was ba-a-a-ad.
Dad: Bye, kidlets! Have a good day at school! Me: Don't call me that, it makes me feel like a goat. Dad: Oh, it's not that baaa-aaaad.
... that they're always kidding around!
I told her it was definitely the kids.
Response? "He's just a little kid."
She replied with "You've goat tae be kiddin' me!"
Oldest: "Aww, a baby!"
Me: "Really? You've goat to be kidding me!"
I used to have it as a kid
Just showed my dad a picture on /r/aww of that cute baby goat today.
Dad: What is that??
Me: It's a baby goat! Isn't that so cute?
Dad: You're KIDding me, right?
And of course proceeds to howl in laughter at his genius. Oh, you...