The Science of The Lambs.
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ Dec 22 2020
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined itβs momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Dec 09 2020
How does a lamb, a drum, and a snake sound falling off a cliff?
Baa-dum-sss.
(Told by literally my dad)
ποΈ 17
π
οΈ Sep 16 2020
Iβm not surprised Silence of the Lambs won Oscars, its an offally good film
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jul 19 2020
When Mary had a little lamb, the labor and delivery doctor was surprised...
When Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctor died of shock.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Sep 02 2020
Why didn't Gordon Ramsey upvote the picture of the lamb Steak?
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ May 06 2020
My daughter wants a boyfriend, but hasn't been asked out yet. To comfort her, I bought her a little lamb, and named it "Relation".
It's officially her first relationsheep.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Feb 15 2020
Why didn't the lamb want to play with their friends?
He was a little sheep-ish.
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Mar 06 2020
A lamb, a drum, and a snake all fell off a cliff
ποΈ 42
π
οΈ Oct 05 2019
What do you call it when lambs fall down a mountain?
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Aug 04 2019
My kid (5) was running around saying 'Baa Baa I'm a lamb'
So I asked her to wear a plastic sheet, she goes to my wife and says her line again.
Baa Baa, I'm a lamb.
Wife: What's with the plastic sheet?
Me: She's been..... LAMBINATED
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Aug 22 2019
Who does a lamb go to if it has back pain?
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Aug 26 2019
Why did the lamb go to rehab?
Because he had a gambolling problem.
I made that up and I'm not even a dad.
ποΈ 17
π
οΈ Jun 17 2019
Did you hear about the dwarf fortune teller that's on the lamb?
He's a small medium at large.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jul 17 2019
You want to hear a funny joke about a lamb?
Nah, honestly it's pretty sheep
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Jul 03 2019
Stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster
So I came across a word today in my reading that I had heard before and was able to deduce it's likely meaning based in the context it was used, however, to be safe, I looked it up anyway and while reading the book definition came up with what I hope is an original pun (phrase)...
Context: When someone is giving you a hard time you can say, "stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster"
lambaste - criticize (someone or something) harshly
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Feb 06 2019
My wife made a delicious lamb Dahl
I complimented her by saying it was the Dahl-i-Lamb-er of curries.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Jun 15 2019
What do you call a frugal lamb?
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jun 04 2018
So if Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was the Lamb of God...
Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Aug 06 2018
My lamb used to be really confident.
You know, up until the point where he started getting sheepish.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Aug 25 2018
Dinner recently with two dishes; one w/ Lamb and one w/ Rabbit.
The waitress asked which one I liked better. I pointed to the rabbit dish and said, "This one, by a hare".
True story.
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Jun 14 2017
My brother asked me to cater his wedding. He wants over 200 servings of roasted lamb chops.
Ain't nobody got thyme for that
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jun 18 2015
At what piece of furniture does the Silence of the Lambs villain deliver his speeches?
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Nov 01 2015
Was making roast lamb for dinner and dropped the tray out of the oven .
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Feb 10 2015
Lamb Stew
Her: I'll make the lamb today, I need to put some clothes on anyway.
Me: You need to wear clothes in front of the lamb? Feeling a little sheepish?
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Oct 08 2016
What kind of car would a lamb drive?
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Sep 05 2014
Mary had a little lamb.
She also had a bear.
I often saw her little lamb, but i never saw her bare.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Jan 13 2017
My Dad on lamb. A classic one
My brother ordered a Lamb Patty at a fancy restaurant. He only got about halfway through it by the time dinner was over.
My dad goes, "what's wrong with it? Was it Baaaaaaaaaaad? Making a goat noise as he said it.
I couldn't stop laughing.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jul 30 2014
If a ram is a lamb and a donkey is an ass...
...Why is a ram in the ass called a goose?
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Sep 05 2015
What happens at the end of Silence of the Lambs?
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Dec 12 2014
Every time he sees lamb on the menu.
Dad: "How's the lamb? I hear it's not baaaad!"
Waiter laughs a little bit and agrees. Brother's palm hits his forehead in disbelief. Repeat at every subsequent restaurant visit at which lamb is offered.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Oct 08 2013
After my daughter named her stuffed lamb "Yucky"...
Wife: "Yucky like gross?"
Me: "No, Yucky like ewe." (I begin crying from laughter)
Wife (with a blank face): "You think your hilarious don't you?"
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Mar 10 2014
A lamb, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff
ποΈ 412
π
οΈ Jul 01 2018
What sound did the lamb, the drum and the snake make when you threw it from a cliff?
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Aug 11 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.