Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
Baa-dum-sss.
(Told by literally my dad)
I’ll get my coat
When Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctor died of shock.
Because it was /r/awww
It's officially her first relationsheep.
He was a little sheep-ish.
Ba Dum Tss
A lambslide
So I asked her to wear a plastic sheet, she goes to my wife and says her line again.
Baa Baa, I'm a lamb.
Wife: What's with the plastic sheet?
Me: She's been..... LAMBINATED
The gyropractor
Because he had a gambolling problem.
I made that up and I'm not even a dad.
He's a small medium at large.
Nah, honestly it's pretty sheep
So I came across a word today in my reading that I had heard before and was able to deduce it's likely meaning based in the context it was used, however, to be safe, I looked it up anyway and while reading the book definition came up with what I hope is an original pun (phrase)...
Context: When someone is giving you a hard time you can say, "stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster"
lambaste - criticize (someone or something) harshly
I complimented her by saying it was the Dahl-i-Lamb-er of curries.
Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
You know, up until the point where he started getting sheepish.
The waitress asked which one I liked better. I pointed to the rabbit dish and said, "This one, by a hare".
True story.
Ain't nobody got thyme for that
A Hannibal Lectern
It was a ca-lamb-ity.
Her: I'll make the lamb today, I need to put some clothes on anyway.
Me: You need to wear clothes in front of the lamb? Feeling a little sheepish?
She also had a bear. I often saw her little lamb, but i never saw her bare.
My brother ordered a Lamb Patty at a fancy restaurant. He only got about halfway through it by the time dinner was over.
My dad goes, "what's wrong with it? Was it Baaaaaaaaaaad? Making a goat noise as he said it.
I couldn't stop laughing.
...Why is a ram in the ass called a goose?
"Baa."
Dad: "How's the lamb? I hear it's not baaaad!"
Waiter laughs a little bit and agrees. Brother's palm hits his forehead in disbelief. Repeat at every subsequent restaurant visit at which lamb is offered.
Wife: "Yucky like gross?" Me: "No, Yucky like ewe." (I begin crying from laughter) Wife (with a blank face): "You think your hilarious don't you?"
Baa, dum, sss
