The Science of The Lambs.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cecil_the_wonderdog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
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In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.

Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.

All credit goes to my coworker.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/robertmmoore143
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
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How does a lamb, a drum, and a snake sound falling off a cliff?

Baa-dum-sss.

(Told by literally my dad)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/roke619
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
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I’m not surprised Silence of the Lambs won Oscars, its an offally good film

I’ll get my coat

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dogburster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2020
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When Mary had a little lamb, the labor and delivery doctor was surprised...

When Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctor died of shock.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2020
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Why didn't Gordon Ramsey upvote the picture of the lamb Steak?

Because it was /r/awww

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ivytheblindhusky
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2020
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My daughter wants a boyfriend, but hasn't been asked out yet. To comfort her, I bought her a little lamb, and named it "Relation".

It's officially her first relationsheep.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dahublubsdamub
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2020
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Why didn't the lamb want to play with their friends?

He was a little sheep-ish.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2020
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A lamb, a drum, and a snake all fell off a cliff

Ba Dum Tss

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JustFapped69Times
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2019
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What do you call it when lambs fall down a mountain?

A lambslide

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rhinoserosrex42
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2019
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My kid (5) was running around saying 'Baa Baa I'm a lamb'

So I asked her to wear a plastic sheet, she goes to my wife and says her line again.

Baa Baa, I'm a lamb.

Wife: What's with the plastic sheet?

Me: She's been..... LAMBINATED

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/h8monster0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2019
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Who does a lamb go to if it has back pain?

The gyropractor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/instacarp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2019
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Why did the lamb go to rehab?

Because he had a gambolling problem.

I made that up and I'm not even a dad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Boglin007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2019
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Did you hear about the dwarf fortune teller that's on the lamb?

He's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/legdiyen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2019
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You want to hear a funny joke about a lamb?

Nah, honestly it's pretty sheep

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/laktosintolerant_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 03 2019
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Stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster

So I came across a word today in my reading that I had heard before and was able to deduce it's likely meaning based in the context it was used, however, to be safe, I looked it up anyway and while reading the book definition came up with what I hope is an original pun (phrase)...

Context: When someone is giving you a hard time you can say, "stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster"

lambaste - criticize (someone or something) harshly

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Textipulator
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2019
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My wife made a delicious lamb Dahl

I complimented her by saying it was the Dahl-i-Lamb-er of curries.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nathancreates
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2019
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What do you call a frugal lamb?

A sheepskate

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tizreader
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2018
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So if Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was the Lamb of God...

Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2018
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My lamb used to be really confident.

You know, up until the point where he started getting sheepish.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SimpleMastodon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2018
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Dinner recently with two dishes; one w/ Lamb and one w/ Rabbit.

The waitress asked which one I liked better. I pointed to the rabbit dish and said, "This one, by a hare".

True story.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/11111v11111
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 14 2017
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My brother asked me to cater his wedding. He wants over 200 servings of roasted lamb chops.

Ain't nobody got thyme for that

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/riffdex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2015
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At what piece of furniture does the Silence of the Lambs villain deliver his speeches?

A Hannibal Lectern

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/amishandroid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2015
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Was making roast lamb for dinner and dropped the tray out of the oven .

It was a ca-lamb-ity.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/torakwho
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2015
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Lamb Stew

Her: I'll make the lamb today, I need to put some clothes on anyway.

Me: You need to wear clothes in front of the lamb? Feeling a little sheepish?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Switche
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2016
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What kind of car would a lamb drive?

A Lamb-orgini!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nokaho
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2014
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Mary had a little lamb.

She also had a bear. I often saw her little lamb, but i never saw her bare.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/C0okie5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2017
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My Dad on lamb. A classic one

My brother ordered a Lamb Patty at a fancy restaurant. He only got about halfway through it by the time dinner was over.

My dad goes, "what's wrong with it? Was it Baaaaaaaaaaad? Making a goat noise as he said it.

I couldn't stop laughing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Domo929
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 30 2014
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If a ram is a lamb and a donkey is an ass...

...Why is a ram in the ass called a goose?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nothingserv
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2015
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What happens at the end of Silence of the Lambs?

"Baa."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chloeistrouble
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2014
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Every time he sees lamb on the menu.

Dad: "How's the lamb? I hear it's not baaaad!"

Waiter laughs a little bit and agrees. Brother's palm hits his forehead in disbelief. Repeat at every subsequent restaurant visit at which lamb is offered.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Grnot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2013
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After my daughter named her stuffed lamb "Yucky"...

Wife: "Yucky like gross?" Me: "No, Yucky like ewe." (I begin crying from laughter) Wife (with a blank face): "You think your hilarious don't you?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zjleblanc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2014
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A lamb, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff

Baa, dum, sss

πŸ‘οΈŽ 412
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/scrott806
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2018
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What sound did the lamb, the drum and the snake make when you threw it from a cliff?

Ba-dum-tss!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tahmid5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2018
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