The Science of The Lambs.
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.

Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.

All credit goes to my coworker.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robertmmoore143
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a lamb, a drum, and a snake sound falling off a cliff?

Baa-dum-sss.

(Told by literally my dad)

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roke619
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m not surprised Silence of the Lambs won Oscars, its an offally good film

I’ll get my coat

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dogburster
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
When Mary had a little lamb, the labor and delivery doctor was surprised...

When Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctor died of shock.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't Gordon Ramsey upvote the picture of the lamb Steak?

Because it was /r/awww

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ivytheblindhusky
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter wants a boyfriend, but hasn't been asked out yet. To comfort her, I bought her a little lamb, and named it "Relation".

It's officially her first relationsheep.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dahublubsdamub
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the lamb want to play with their friends?

He was a little sheep-ish.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A lamb, a drum, and a snake all fell off a cliff

Ba Dum Tss

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JustFapped69Times
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when lambs fall down a mountain?

A lambslide

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhinoserosrex42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My kid (5) was running around saying 'Baa Baa I'm a lamb'

So I asked her to wear a plastic sheet, she goes to my wife and says her line again.

Baa Baa, I'm a lamb.

Wife: What's with the plastic sheet?

Me: She's been..... LAMBINATED

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/h8monster0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Who does a lamb go to if it has back pain?

The gyropractor

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/instacarp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the lamb go to rehab?

Because he had a gambolling problem.

I made that up and I'm not even a dad.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boglin007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dwarf fortune teller that's on the lamb?

He's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/legdiyen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
You want to hear a funny joke about a lamb?

Nah, honestly it's pretty sheep

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/laktosintolerant_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster

So I came across a word today in my reading that I had heard before and was able to deduce it's likely meaning based in the context it was used, however, to be safe, I looked it up anyway and while reading the book definition came up with what I hope is an original pun (phrase)...

Context: When someone is giving you a hard time you can say, "stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster"

lambaste - criticize (someone or something) harshly

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Textipulator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife made a delicious lamb Dahl

I complimented her by saying it was the Dahl-i-Lamb-er of curries.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nathancreates
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a frugal lamb?

A sheepskate

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tizreader
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
🚨︎ report
So if Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was the Lamb of God...

Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My lamb used to be really confident.

You know, up until the point where he started getting sheepish.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SimpleMastodon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Dinner recently with two dishes; one w/ Lamb and one w/ Rabbit.

The waitress asked which one I liked better. I pointed to the rabbit dish and said, "This one, by a hare".

True story.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/11111v11111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2017
🚨︎ report
My brother asked me to cater his wedding. He wants over 200 servings of roasted lamb chops.

Ain't nobody got thyme for that

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/riffdex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
🚨︎ report
At what piece of furniture does the Silence of the Lambs villain deliver his speeches?

A Hannibal Lectern

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amishandroid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Was making roast lamb for dinner and dropped the tray out of the oven .

It was a ca-lamb-ity.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/torakwho
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2015
🚨︎ report
Lamb Stew

Her: I'll make the lamb today, I need to put some clothes on anyway.

Me: You need to wear clothes in front of the lamb? Feeling a little sheepish?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Switche
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2016
🚨︎ report
What kind of car would a lamb drive?

A Lamb-orgini!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nokaho
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Mary had a little lamb.

She also had a bear. I often saw her little lamb, but i never saw her bare.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C0okie5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
🚨︎ report
My Dad on lamb. A classic one

My brother ordered a Lamb Patty at a fancy restaurant. He only got about halfway through it by the time dinner was over.

My dad goes, "what's wrong with it? Was it Baaaaaaaaaaad? Making a goat noise as he said it.

I couldn't stop laughing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Domo929
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
🚨︎ report
If a ram is a lamb and a donkey is an ass...

...Why is a ram in the ass called a goose?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nothingserv
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2015
🚨︎ report
What happens at the end of Silence of the Lambs?

"Baa."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chloeistrouble
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2014
🚨︎ report
Every time he sees lamb on the menu.

Dad: "How's the lamb? I hear it's not baaaad!"

Waiter laughs a little bit and agrees. Brother's palm hits his forehead in disbelief. Repeat at every subsequent restaurant visit at which lamb is offered.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grnot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2013
🚨︎ report
After my daughter named her stuffed lamb "Yucky"...

Wife: "Yucky like gross?" Me: "No, Yucky like ewe." (I begin crying from laughter) Wife (with a blank face): "You think your hilarious don't you?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zjleblanc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2014
🚨︎ report
A lamb, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff

Baa, dum, sss

πŸ‘︎ 412
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scrott806
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What sound did the lamb, the drum and the snake make when you threw it from a cliff?

Ba-dum-tss!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tahmid5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.