What happened when Peppa Pig accidentally walked into the meat grinder?

Peppa-roni.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you have 50 pigs and 50 deer?

A hundred sows and bucks!!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sixthman27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
A pig isn't Russian

But Boris

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
Do you know why pigs make really good cakes?

Cuz they always be bacon

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/excalibron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
A man holding several miniature pigs walks into a bar.

"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"

The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.

"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender reaches for some larger mugs, but as he places them next to the cups, it becomes obvious that even these will be too small for the pigs.

Seeing the man struggle to continue holding them, the bartender runs to the kitchen for help.

A cook emerges, holding several large measuring cups. "Sorry, I just used these to make a batch of cheese dip, but they're all yours!"

The man carefully plops each pig into its respective gooey yellow cup.

Arms exhausted, breathing heavily, he drops into a stool at the end of the bar, between his tiny friends and a beautiful girl.

He glances her way, gasping coyly. "Hey...I'm...Tom."

She smiles, having watched the whole ordeal. "Hi Tom, I'm Liz. And if you don't mi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 246
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Where do pigs park?

The porking lot.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatGuyWhoTypes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig from the dinosaur age?

Jurassic pork.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IWaterboardKids
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.

His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
What would you name your pet pig?

Chris P Bacon

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blazing_Storm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
Everyone who lives near me complains about when my pigs start making horse noises

my neighbors hate my neigh-boars

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chunder_sauce
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
How do you turn a chicken into a pig?

Put it in the oven, then it's bacon…

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godfather_187_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
Where did you get your guinea pigs from?

I got them from Guinea, but my daughter's wanted younger ones, so we went to New Guinea, but one of the ones was a father, so he had to go back to Papa New Guinea.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExcitingFail
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Pi-i-ig

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
Pig story

A pig without 3.14 is 9.8.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harsh_1408
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine a dinosaur and a pig?

Jurassic Pork.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealLameUserName
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
I read a story about pig anatomy.

It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
How do you get a pig moving in Spain?

You say Jamon!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Piiig

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the pig get to hospital?

In a hambulance.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecentFisherman3
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a pig with the Native Americans?

Porkahontas.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TotalScrub420
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpeedingEmu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did porky pig say to Daffy duck?

You quack me up!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heariam7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
Have you ever seen a pig with three eyes?

Piiig

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thephantomnose
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig that does karate ?

A pork chop!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NicJ20
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
What do you give to a sick pig?

Oink-ment

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mush_Tilly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
What do pigs learn in the army?

Ham to ham combat

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rubberducky4000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig that does karate?
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakewilson801
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
What do you name a smart pig?

Cunningham

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NnyBees
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
What do you call a french pig?

Porque.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
why did they hire the pig as a chef

because he was good at bacon

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/surealseriph
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a pig picks its nose?

Hamboogers.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanasimov
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
Why can't pigs write books?

They don't have enough oink in their pens

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardlyNetworking
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
Why don't pigs who wear black clothing get picked on?

Because Batman sworn to protect goth ham.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pmak13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig.

One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

πŸ‘︎ 518
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jspilot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that pigs love to cook?

It's true! They're always bacon!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a re-gifted pig?

A ham-me-down

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ComputerChaosKid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
What did the pig have in his nose?

A ham booger

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
My review for a hotel run by pigs:

Great hogspitality; 5 stars

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
How do pig families save money on clothes?

They use ham-me-downs

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
Why did the pig want a divorce?

Her husband was a bore.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brendan_07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
Why did the pig go into the kitchen?

He felt like bacon.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shes-sonit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
The pig plant?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Supermr2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
Two pigs tried for an audition but both were rejected

One was too hammy while the other was too boaring

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Pig in a Cow costume?

Fake Moos.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BashfulWitness
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
You hear about the pig farmer that tried to make it big in Hollywood?

Had to move back home because he had too many poor scenes

**thought of it on the bus ride home, be gentle haha

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirTurkTurkelton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig ?

The F

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a joke about a large collection of wild pigs...

But that'd just be a huge boar-fest.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
Someone who loves Peppa pig?
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/misak821
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?

It was a ball hogger.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.

It was a PG.

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Camy_UK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig that got insulted

Pork roast

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchomojo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
"Arkham" is not only a prison. It's also what Noah made out of the pigs.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MinFootspace
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What was Peppa Pig's family doing on Thanksgiving?

They were bacon stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scarm0nger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats a pigs favorite type of wood?

Mahogany

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Heartstop56
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?

Swine.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarthbane
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you greet a pig with Parkinson’s?

β€œWhat’s shakin’ bacon?”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maybejaeby
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
If a baby cow is called a calf what is a baby pig called?

A hamstring.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AugustBurnsWill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you put on a sick pig?

Oinkment.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spletharg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad just handed me a pig in a blanket Dad: Would you care for one of these

Me: Only if it needed me..

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DevilDobby
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you stop your pig in a emergency?

You pull up the ham brakes

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HotBizkitz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork chop!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call baby pigs?

Bacon seeds...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tigger3370
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been working a long time. My job is hard, unfulfilling and honestly, doesn’t pay that great. I think it’s time for a change of pace for me. I’ve decided to go into a completely different direction and become a pig rancher.

It’s the only way I can bring home the bacon.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/An_Imperfect_Guy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call wild guinea pigs?

Guinea boars

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do pigs love to drink?

A glass of swine!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TimeX13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
You heard about the British pig that ties shoe laces very well?

Nottingham

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Souplorde
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig with three eyes?

A piiig.

*Hat tip to my kids for this one...helping me be a better dad every day.

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kingfisher-Zero
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you play tug of war with a pig?

Pulled pork.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khanglikestowin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a surgeon who specializes in pigs?

A pigeon

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/realistic_pan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a pig that does karate called

Pork chop

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the pig say when he was angry?

"You're bacon me crazy!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a pig say when they steal something?

Yoink

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/revyn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you put on a pig that got hurt?

Oinkment.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SGTasseater69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why should you never trust a pig with a secret?

Because it's bound to squeal.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the pig exercise?

He pulled his hamstring.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkoNova
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do pigs love to go on vacation?

Mi-Hami

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alphaw0lf212
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Pepa Pig
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EliasDorfler
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory?

Hamnesia

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was in high school, our prank was to release pigs with 1,3 and 5 painted on them.

After looking for 2 and 4 like crazy they thought...... That's odd

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jrock7784
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Q: What do you get when a chicken crosses a pig?

A: Beef

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sevenaces
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do pigs park cars?

A porking lot

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Omni_87
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of tie does a pig wear?

A pig's tie

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whynaut4
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is a pigs tail like getting up at 3 o’clock in the morning? ...

β€˜Cos its twirly.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig that does karate?

Pork Chop!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rasberryjam5151
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork chop

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/riverfrogx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Piiig

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork chop!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig with three eyes?

A Piiig

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork chop!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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