cow puns in the WCGW comment section
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HereIsNoukster
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
Excellent cow puns
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JIM45954
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A few things my father taught me (Cow Puns) imgur.com/gallery/mEVb9K3
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conaer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
🚨︎ report
[Request] Needed: Cow Puns

So, I don't if this is the appropriate place for this, but I need a boat-load of cow puns for a D&D campaign. Any all and jokes are both welcomed and needed.

They can be as subtle or as obvious or as cringey as you'd like.

Examples:

A slingshot built from straps set up between the pair of Minotaur horns. A Bullista, if you will.

A character named Timothy Jacobs (Timoothy Jacowbs)

There is a ritual among Minotaur where they fight over the best food served. This is called a Cudstody battle.

Thank you for your help!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kunk180
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
🚨︎ report
Who is a young cow's favorite author?

Moo Willems.

(By my four year old... She's really been milking the cow puns lately.)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bondjimbond
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up.

I always see Himalayan there.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Why do cows wear a bell?

Because their horns don't work.

πŸ‘︎ 874
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bjornsbestfriend
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
What did the mama cow said to the baby cow?

It's pasture bedtime

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
🚨︎ report
Why should you be worried if you see cows smoking marijuana?

Cause that's when the steaks are highest.

Edit: Well this is rare, I wasn't sure how well done this joke was. Thanks for the face palm.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wileydan
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Working-Mind
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10
🚨︎ report
What did the sexy brown chicken say to the sexy brown cow?

Brown-chicken-brown-cow

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NiTro_Erebus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
Tom Bro Cow
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
I almost hit an invisible cow

Fortunately I was able to steer clear.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
🚨︎ report
I made a short video of a cow

It's a bovine

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
Two cows are standing in a field...

Cow 1: are you worried about getting mad cow disease?

Cow 2: of course not... I’m not a cow!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ed_five
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that just gave birth.

De-calf-nated

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedeathgames223
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer arrest the cow for?

Disudderly conduct.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrlonelywolf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15
🚨︎ report
Where do cow farts come from?

From their dairy air

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ourtownhero
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
🚨︎ report
Why do cows have hooves and not feet?

Because they lack toes

I’m sorry

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sam_The_Doggo69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
What do cows tell each other at bedtime?

Dairy tales.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
What's a baby cow's favorite place to eat?

I don't know, but you can bet it's not a steak joint.

-And you thought I was going to say a calf-eteria!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
Why do you never see cows sleeping?

Because they go to bed pasture bedtime.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drgoosebeard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
What’s a cow favorite thing to watch?

A moo-vie

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
What do cows in Greece sound like?

They say Β΅

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickD716
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
🚨︎ report
Two cows are standing in a field

The first cow says to the second β€œHave you heard about this mad cow disease? It makes cows go crazy and then they die” The second cow replied β€œWell it’s good that I’m a refrigerator”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BULbyCharTOle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13
🚨︎ report
Where do cows fart from?

Their dairy air

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
My dad's favorite joke- what do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
What do you call a film with cows as actors?

A Moooo-vie

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hungry-fangirl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk

An udder failure

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notafuddu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that they genetically engineered a milk cow to have no teats?

It was udderly pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HwackAMole
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

They lactose

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDarthSphincter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

πŸ‘︎ 240
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
What did the cow build it’s house out of?

Cottage Cheese

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyCosmonaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
It's so hot outside that my cow started giving powdered milk

It's udderly terrible

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jurica1306
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
I kicked my lad out because he told me he now identifies as a cow

I was like 'bye-son'

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnfeteredOne
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
You guys hear about the band made up of sheep and cows?

I like their song β€œBaa Moo Rising”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers

They're always raising the steaks

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
I have a farmer friend who heats his milk products to 212 degrees Fahrenheit using cow chips...

Yep. It's called pasture-ized milk.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male cow wearing a pink shirt, orange shorts, and a purple backpack?

Adorable

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the famous cow?

They say her milk is Legend Dairy

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
🚨︎ report
What do you call a herd of cows gambling at a marijuana dispensary?

High Steaks

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matttized
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
You’re not going to offend anyone with jokes about legless cows.

The steaks are low.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/morsodo99
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
Cow farmers say their job is hard, but...

...I think they're just milking it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigdickcorrine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
What does a cow say when he's in a dogfight?

Evasive mamoovers!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P4743
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04
🚨︎ report
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef

What do you call a cow that has been knighted?

Sir Loin

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef Jerky

What do you call a cow that dies in a helicopter crash?

Kobe Beef

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Composer
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
What do you call a farm when none of the cows give milk?

An udder disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lin-Duh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow get a ticket?

Because of a mooing violation.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow during an earthquake..?

a Milkshake

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/h_cordeiro8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
How do ranchers keep track of all their cows?

They keep a cattle-log.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
What you do get from a dwarf cow?

... condensed milk.

πŸ‘︎ 148
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marc--
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
Why did the cowβ€˜s stomach ached?

Because there was no more rumen it

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FernandoLH95
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
What do military cows wear?

CowMooFlage

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matiik16
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
Why are cows always moOOOdy?

Because there's a lotta beef.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathStarAnakin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell you a joke about cows

But I bet you have herd it

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KitFistful
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
Why was the cow banned from ballet class?

It kept practicing its Dairy Air.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
*Me every time we pass a cow pasture* β€œDid you know those are award winning cows?”

They’re out standing in their field

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Casey_H3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
As if 2020 wasn't crazy enough in Texas today, a herd of cows suddenly burst into flames.

Scientists still don't know what the cattle-lyst was.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TigerDiesel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Grounded, just like you.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robot290
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
What did one cow say to the other?

Could I borrow your Jersey? Because I'm Friesian

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MEJAFog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow farm destroyed in the tornado?

The scene was udder annihilation.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nevets52
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
Why don't cows wear sandals?

They lack toes

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marty___mcfly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
Why don’t cows and sheep get coronavirus?

They have herd immunity.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
I gave marijuana to a cow

The steaks were high, but it was worth it

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reddit_Max09
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
The farmer decided to cook the meanest cow he had

It made excellent jerky!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow farmer quit?

He was tired of smelling dairy air

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iuhoosiers4ike
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
What do cows read?

Cattlelogs!

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
Why weren't the cows in the field?

They Moooooved.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
What does a cow do for fun?

It goes to the mooo-vies

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
My cows like to wander

so I herd.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/POCKALEELEE
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow join NASA?

To go to the Moooooooooon

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AllTh1ngsAreONE
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
Apparently cows get more scared when they're together

Those goddamn cow herds

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Smorgo_Beepins
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that never traveled?

Stayk.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/esotetris
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
I lost my guitar pick made out of cow bone

I told my brother I lost my bone pick, he said β€œof course you did”

β€œI really have a bone to pick with myself for doing that”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BradenMer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
(Compliments of my 5 year old) Why did the chicken walk under the cow?

To get to the udder side

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beeturia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no spots?

A Moo-tant

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimatePylon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call the meat of a female cow?

A missteak

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainmail_chuck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
I’ve just been attacked by a herd of cows.

I’m ok, but I’ve been badly grazed.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
What did the mummy cow say to the baby cow?

It’s pasture bedtime.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
How do you know when it is time for cows to go to sleep?

When it’s pasture bedtime.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the two cows who fought to the death?

It was crazy, their lives were at steak

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...

No, pigs do that!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ball_hawk15
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
We gave my Dad a birthday card that said he could party till the cows come home.

He said he utter-ly loved it!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fan2vt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
What should you do if you accidentally stab a cow?

Remove the stake.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrimeMvr
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
A cow wins the lottery...

Needles to say he was over the mooooon

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XanderMcpander
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

Decaffeinated

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/a_misplaced_taco
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
TIL there was a cow caught in the crossfire of one of the WWII battles.

It’s rarely mentioned by historians though because it was only considered cow-lateral damage.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I-Fucked-YourMom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
I NEED ORIGINAL COW PUNS can you suggest any please?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nicht-deutsch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
Why do cows have bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AUTOSHAWT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
🚨︎ report
Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers.

They're always raising the steaks.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Miketar85
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dose172
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zblaze68
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report

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