cow puns in the WCGW comment section
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HereIsNoukster
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
Excellent cow puns
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JIM45954
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Cow puns aren't just bad...

...they're udderly terrible.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snorting_rum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
[Request] Needed: Cow Puns

So, I don't if this is the appropriate place for this, but I need a boat-load of cow puns for a D&D campaign. Any all and jokes are both welcomed and needed.

They can be as subtle or as obvious or as cringey as you'd like.

Examples:

A slingshot built from straps set up between the pair of Minotaur horns. A Bullista, if you will.

A character named Timothy Jacobs (Timoothy Jacowbs)

There is a ritual among Minotaur where they fight over the best food served. This is called a Cudstody battle.

Thank you for your help!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kunk180
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
🚨︎ report
A few things my father taught me (Cow Puns) imgur.com/gallery/mEVb9K3
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conaer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
🚨︎ report
Who is a young cow's favorite author?

Moo Willems.

(By my four year old... She's really been milking the cow puns lately.)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bondjimbond
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up.

I always see Himalayan there.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Why should you be worried if you see cows smoking marijuana?

Cause that's when the steaks are highest.

Edit: Well this is rare, I wasn't sure how well done this joke was. Thanks for the face palm.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wileydan
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

πŸ‘︎ 244
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
Cow farmers say their job is hard, but...

...I think they're just milking it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigdickcorrine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call a farm when none of the cows give milk?

An udder disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lin-Duh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef

What do you call a cow that has been knighted?

Sir Loin

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef Jerky

What do you call a cow that dies in a helicopter crash?

Kobe Beef

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Composer
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
What you do get from a dwarf cow?

... condensed milk.

πŸ‘︎ 148
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marc--
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
What does a cow do for fun?

It goes to the mooo-vies

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
What do cows read?

Cattlelogs!

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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Apparently cows get more scared when they're together

Those goddamn cow herds

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smorgo_Beepins
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow farmer quit?

He was tired of smelling dairy air

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iuhoosiers4ike
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that never traveled?

Stayk.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/esotetris
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
I gave marijuana to a cow

The steaks were high, but it was worth it

πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reddit_Max09
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the two cows who fought to the death?

It was crazy, their lives were at steak

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
A cow wins the lottery...

Needles to say he was over the mooooon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XanderMcpander
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
We gave my Dad a birthday card that said he could party till the cows come home.

He said he utter-ly loved it!!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fan2vt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
I’ve just been attacked by a herd of cows.

I’m ok, but I’ve been badly grazed.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
What kind of milk do you get from footless cows?

Lack-toes!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1derin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
What should you do if you accidentally stab a cow?

Remove the stake.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrimeMvr
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

Decaffeinated

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_misplaced_taco
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
What do you call six baby cows?

Calf a dozen

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slater22
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow cross the road?

To go to the moovies.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noapostrophe555
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
Why are vampires afraid of cows?

They're made of steaks

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BabuunBabooshka
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Apparently, there's a big market for an expensive breed of cow that only eats marijuana plants.

The steaks are high.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuicyPotato21
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
What did the momma cow say to her baby?

It's pasture bedtime!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrincessCuteButt
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
There was a herd of cows on this big hill. A big gust of wind came by and blew all the smaller cows away. Puzzled, the rancher went up to one of the bulls that were still standing and asks,"How come you bulls are still standing?" The bull replies...

"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to sleep.

I guess it's an insomni-yak

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
If you come across a cow in post-apocalyptic times, you'd better not let it go.

That would be a missed steak.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ericn8886
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
If a cow is injected with another organism's genes

Does that make it a Genetically Moodified Organism?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeuFlaas_xx
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
I’ve recently heard a rumor of a magical cow that can grant wishes

They say it’s legendairy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow from Hollywood?

A moovie star

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
Why are baby cows cheaper than adults?

Because they're calf price

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
Why can’t cows be affected by any strong force?

They’re immoovabull.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnnoyingAzathoth
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
I was watching a series of increasingly funny cow videos, and even though CowVid#18 was hilarious...

...I just couldn't bring myself to watch the next one. I just had this vague sense that something bad was going to happen.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
A farmer was trying his best to remove his cows from a nearby marijuana plantation

The steaks were high

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Klaus-012
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
How can you tell when you have a deformed cow?

When everything you say goes in one ear and out the udder.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElsaFrozen2013
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
How much did the cow cost?

Heffer million dollars.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaldrickD2M
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
Just saw a guy touch his cow's udder

how dairy

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-starwing-
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
My Himalayan friend has a cow that won’t lay down

I’m always checking to see if it will Everest

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bellicose_buddha
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
What do cows who like medical dramas do?

They Grey’s

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinythanos
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with seizures

Beef jerky

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a cow with a shark?

I don’t know but I wouldn’t wanna milk it

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carlazuzcnn10
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
Two cows in a field.

One says Moooooo, the other one says awww I wanted to say that. A sheep in the neighbouring field exclaims to his friend.. Did you see that? A talking cow!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ch3w84cc4
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
What's the respectful way to bury a cow?

cream-ate them

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dangerfolf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
Cow scat porn?

It’s udderly disgusting

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urnfnidiot
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that masturbates?

Beef Strokin-off

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malant12321
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
Cows can’t catch coronavirus

because of their im-moo-nity.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/golubeerji
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
D'you know what happened to the cow that got sucked into a tornado?

It was udder disaster

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firest0rmRekT
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
Why are cows bad at dancing?

They lactose.

πŸ‘︎ 432
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-have-eaten-ass
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
My dad claimed he stepped in cow poop as we spoke over the phone, but he doesn't live near cows.

I call bullshit.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nafetsg
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that works out?

Beefy

  • my 15 year old daughter trying to emulate my sense of humor.
πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deus42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
What do you call a famous cow?

Legendairy. Get it? I made this one up myself.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RebekhaG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicJ20
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow cross the road?

Because it wanted to go to the mooo-vies

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nasytasy
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
What is a cows dance steps called?

Moooooves

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nowack_hs
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a cow jumps over an electrified barbed-wire fence?

Udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
Cows can’t get coronavirus...

They have herd immunity.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Scribbler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
I was in New Mexico and a cowboy asked me if I could help round up 18 cows.

I replied, "Yes of course, that'd be 20 cows."

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ch57113
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the recent race to send a cow to space?

The steaks will be higher than ever

πŸ‘︎ 260
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YouIdiotSandwhich
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
There was a fire in the illegal weed farm which trapped some cows.

The steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Team_Pineapple
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
What do you call a narcoleptic male cow who likes to smash things up?

A bull dozer.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow that was at the top of her class?

She was really mootivated.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Erbearlee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
Cow in front of my house was showing me real attitude

She was being Moo-dy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Navi66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Tipping cows
πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamergod4now
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that fell into a hole?

A holey cow!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
A cowboy comes to his boss his ranch and says 'thats all 50 cows boss'. The boss answers 'how did you get 50? I only got 48!'

The cowboy answers 'I know, I rounded them up.'

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonazzzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
What do cows do when they meet for the first time?

Give each other a milk shake.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iwfabrication
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
How does a farmer count his cows?

He uses a COWculater.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thesandman28
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
Have you ever tried to milk a cow that has been cut in half?

Udder madness.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
I thought I recognized that picture of cows from somewhere

turns out, it was a stock photo

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
What happened when two herds of evenly-matched cows got into a turf war?

There was mootual destruction

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MBonez12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
Why they put a bell around a cow's neck?

Because its horn doesn't ring.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/creedwolf_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that cannot produce milk?

An udder failure

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punderants
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
My 7 year old came up with a dad joke: What do Zombie Cows say?

"Grains"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollyon82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I NEED ORIGINAL COW PUNS can you suggest any please?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nicht-deutsch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dose172
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zblaze68
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with a twitch

Beef Jerky

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chadywacker
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JodeneBorg
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unspared
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
What do you get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lostknight5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report

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