An udder day ... An udder pound ...
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nukes-n-Nudes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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Found this today. With numbers like those she don't need an udder job
πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ImLevisWindex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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Or an udder failure?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/loot98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 18 2020
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If a cow doesn’t produce milk, it’s both an udder failure, and a milk dud.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/superflyguy87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2019
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Just saw a guy touch his cow's udder

how dairy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-starwing-
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2020
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It was an Udder delight to find a pun in the wild! imgur.com/7SVWJrs
πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cranky_Windlass
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2020
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Did you hear that farmer grabbed the cow's udder?

How dairy!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xwhy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2019
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I was rying to milk my cow and it looks like it was an udder failure.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shagminer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2019
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How can you tell if that milk is from your cow or udders? -
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shagminer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2019
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The terms "cattle," "beef," and "udder" are always afraid of everything - because they're just a bunch of cow words. reddit.com/r/oneliners/co…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2018
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Udder nonsense
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/t-readyroc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2017
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Trying to get milk from a male cow would be an UDDER waste of time.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Flynn_The_Fox
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2017
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What do you call a cow with one udder?

A bull.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billdanbury
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2015
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Did you hear about the family whose children are all born with cow udders?

It's a pretty strange genetic mootation.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joshlamm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2014
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I told my daughter, β€œGo to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, β€œWhat’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."

"It’s pasture bedtime!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2021
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Udderly amoosing
πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/D0GE11579
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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I found this udderly funny
πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ederd97
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2020
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I have a cow joke for all of you...

You probably haven’t herd of it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aku223
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2021
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Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbed wire fence?

Utter disaster.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 137
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Super4rank
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
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You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…

"What about the udder one?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2021
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What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pops-icle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2021
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If you don't laugh, Moooooove along ;)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 45
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2021
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How does a cow walk?

One foot in front of the udder.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StringTraveler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2021
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My family used to own a farm with prize winning animals

The cows were udderly awesome.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2021
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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aovl93
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2021
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jechaking
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2021
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I just had a guy throw milk at me

How dairy ?

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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I once watched a couple of cows smoke weed and play poker

I guess the steaks were pretty high

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Durty_Rick_Sanchez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2021
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Farmer milks his profits from cows

How dairy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SwampFox525
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2021
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There were a few irish friends in a pub and one of them was telling a joke about cows but no one laughed.

He should have told a udder joke

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AxhaLat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2021
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What do you call a cow stepping over a barbed wire fence?

Udder destruction.

My Dad a actually told me this one.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wildjosh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2021
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Cow jokes that are great for making your kids' eyes roll :

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!

What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef!

What do you call a cow after it gives birth? De-calf-enated!

Did you hear about that cow that jumped over a barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction.

(After they beg you to stop, hit them with: "Ok, it's time too mooooove on to some different jokes. These cow jokes are getting udderly ridiculous.")

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
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How do you count cows ?

With a cow-culator.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AWeirdLlama
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
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Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?

Because the cow has the udder

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Packaging69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2020
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Do you want to hear a joke about dairy farmers?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2021
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My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up.

I always see Himalayan there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
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My wife HHHHAAAAAADDDDDD to buy these. She is so udderly ridiculous sometimes.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NoctisAlam
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2018
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I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.

I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.

Edit: corrected an udder failure.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cerebolic-parabellum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2020
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My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was a danger to himself and udders.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
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Have you heard about those cow mutilations??

What an udder disaster.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/goudamac
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2021
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What’s the fastest liquid in the world?

Milk, it’s pasteurized before you can even see it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 215
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TongueBandit69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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This is udderly amazing!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ahud7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2019
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Udderly*
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nerdenial
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2018
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What do you call a male milk maid?

An utter gentleman.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/keyrover
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
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A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter !

How dairy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2020
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Why do cows never play chess?

Because they can’t make any mooooooooove

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oraefaibohp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2020
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
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Why did the cow want to be an attorney?

For all the moo law

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/australiagiraffeman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2020
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I have this idea for a takeaway restaurant which just sells dairy

I call it whey-to-go

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/humanbeingahuman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2020
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I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ArchipelagoMind
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 15 2020
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What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?

An udder failure

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rooner_Spism
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2021
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Why do cows wear a bell?

Because their horns don't work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 882
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bjornsbestfriend
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence

Utter destruction

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jon_thepoopjokeking
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2020
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