An udder day ... An udder pound ...
πŸ‘︎ 133
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nukes-n-Nudes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Found this today. With numbers like those she don't need an udder job
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImLevisWindex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Or an udder failure?
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/loot98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If a cow doesn’t produce milk, it’s both an udder failure, and a milk dud.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/superflyguy87
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Just saw a guy touch his cow's udder

how dairy

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-starwing-
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
It was an Udder delight to find a pun in the wild! imgur.com/7SVWJrs
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cranky_Windlass
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that farmer grabbed the cow's udder?

How dairy!!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I was rying to milk my cow and it looks like it was an udder failure.
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shagminer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
How can you tell if that milk is from your cow or udders? -
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shagminer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The terms "cattle," "beef," and "udder" are always afraid of everything - because they're just a bunch of cow words. reddit.com/r/oneliners/co…
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Udder nonsense
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/t-readyroc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Trying to get milk from a male cow would be an UDDER waste of time.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flynn_The_Fox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with one udder?

A bull.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/billdanbury
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the family whose children are all born with cow udders?

It's a pretty strange genetic mootation.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joshlamm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2014
🚨︎ report
I told my daughter, β€œGo to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, β€œWhat’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."

"It’s pasture bedtime!”

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Udderly amoosing
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D0GE11579
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I found this udderly funny
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ederd97
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a cow joke for all of you...

You probably haven’t herd of it.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aku223
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbed wire fence?

Utter disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 137
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Super4rank
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…

"What about the udder one?"

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk!

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pops-icle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
If you don't laugh, Moooooove along ;)
πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
How does a cow walk?

One foot in front of the udder.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StringTraveler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
My family used to own a farm with prize winning animals

The cows were udderly awesome.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aovl93
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jechaking
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I just had a guy throw milk at me

How dairy ?

πŸ‘︎ 233
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I once watched a couple of cows smoke weed and play poker

I guess the steaks were pretty high

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Farmer milks his profits from cows

How dairy

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SwampFox525
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
There were a few irish friends in a pub and one of them was telling a joke about cows but no one laughed.

He should have told a udder joke

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AxhaLat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow stepping over a barbed wire fence?

Udder destruction.

My Dad a actually told me this one.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wildjosh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Cow jokes that are great for making your kids' eyes roll :

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!

What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef!

What do you call a cow after it gives birth? De-calf-enated!

Did you hear about that cow that jumped over a barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction.

(After they beg you to stop, hit them with: "Ok, it's time too mooooove on to some different jokes. These cow jokes are getting udderly ridiculous.")

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you count cows ?

With a cow-culator.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AWeirdLlama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?

Because the cow has the udder

πŸ‘︎ 274
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Packaging69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you want to hear a joke about dairy farmers?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up.

I always see Himalayan there.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife HHHHAAAAAADDDDDD to buy these. She is so udderly ridiculous sometimes.
πŸ‘︎ 229
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoctisAlam
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.

I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.

Edit: corrected an udder failure.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about those cow mutilations??

What an udder disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goudamac
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the fastest liquid in the world?

Milk, it’s pasteurized before you can even see it!

πŸ‘︎ 215
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TongueBandit69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
This is udderly amazing!
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ahud7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Udderly*
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nerdenial
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male milk maid?

An utter gentleman.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keyrover
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter !

How dairy

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do cows never play chess?

Because they can’t make any mooooooooove

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oraefaibohp
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow want to be an attorney?

For all the moo law

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I have this idea for a takeaway restaurant which just sells dairy

I call it whey-to-go

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/humanbeingahuman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."

πŸ‘︎ 23k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchipelagoMind
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?

An udder failure

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rooner_Spism
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do cows wear a bell?

Because their horns don't work.

πŸ‘︎ 882
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bjornsbestfriend
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence

Utter destruction

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.