Ok, I admit it. I’m an unemployed leather worker.

I’ve got nothing to hide

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
What’s made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cherbotsky
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 768
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bassjunkie223
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
I wrote a joke about leather the other day.

I can’t seem to find it though; it must be hide-ing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CorbanzoBean69
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Why do you sneak around in leather armor?

Because it is made of hide.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReddMcNaughton
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
A hematophagous Arachnid Acari showed up wearing sturdy leather leggings with a belt.

Questioned by his friend why he was dressed like that he responded "Im a Chaps-tick"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NetScr1be
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife for a leather punch for my birthday

It's awl I want.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edzillion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
How does leather face ask for a high five

β€œGive me some skin”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BuTtEr_My_RoLls
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
🚨︎ report
Why do rogues wear leather armor?

Because it's made of hide.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/28Hz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
I tried to get my wife to accept my apology after saying her skin was like leather

But she's not suede

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinema_King
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
What’s a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe!

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Daresun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What sound does leather make when it sneezes?

A shoe

P.S. This is NOT OC. Found on r/jokes. Felt like it belonged here.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordGandalf01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I have very strong opinions about leather shoes, and i will not be suede
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Drakansoul
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The best armor for sneaking is leather armor. reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IcerKaker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife's handbag is sorely in need of replacement. I offered to get her a new soft leather one, but she declined.

I guess she's not easily purse-sueded.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife convinced me to wear a hideous leather jacket that she got for me.

I guess I’m easily suede.

πŸ‘︎ 165
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My tailor tried to get me to start wearing soft leather jacketss

But I'm not so easily suede

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Leather is great for sneaking around

because it's made of hide.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/waterparkfire
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Leather armor is the best for sneaking

It's made of hide

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fire_fly43
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate wearing leather but someone convinced me to do it

I'm easily suede.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Leather armor is the best for sneaking

Its literally made of hide.

πŸ‘︎ 228
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DiverLife
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What's made of leather, is about a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikesalmonuk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is a leather jacket good for camouflage?

Because it's made of hide

πŸ‘︎ 261
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leemuel01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone asked me if the leather chair I was selling smells.

No, it doesn't I told them. It's a chair and doesn't have a nose.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigjeskid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife got me a hideous leather jacket, but I don’t mind wearing it.

I’m easily suede.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Mop bucket, excavator bucket, crusher bucket, wooden bucket, leather fire buckets...

This is my bucket list.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife bought me this hideous leather jacket, but I always agree to wear it out.

I’m easily suede.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My cow orker really hates leather...

But I'm gonna persuede him

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spin97
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do illegally-imported leather jackets do when they hear the cops coming?

Hide.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to not be the biggest fan of leather shoes...

But my now my opinion has suede.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GraeDaBoss
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Leather armor is perfect for sneaking because it's literally made of hide.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatsbyyy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Leather stains are very visible

Because it has nothing to hide

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hdeifh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
After I got a new leather messenger bag, my Dad asked "Do you know what the number 1 use of cow hide is?"

"Holding cows together"

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Battle_Claiborne
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Last weekend, I went on vacation to a leather working-themed resort.

It was awl-inclusive.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzzaeater14
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a pair of leather shoes and a vegan?

A Pair-o-Docs

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tiger_D_Dragon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does leather armor make you better at sneaking?

Because it's made of hide.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chaingunXD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2015
🚨︎ report
Why is leather the best thing to sneak around in?

It’s made with hide.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pepperonie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I walked into a furniture shop. I said to the assistant, "That leather seat over there...I've been sent in by my wife to buy it for her."

He said, "Ah, I've got one those at home."

I said, "Well, she can't be as bossy as mine."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
The leather hat was an invention that made our head's sweat. Thank god it never cotton.
πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pirate_of_the_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Is leather gullible?

You know, because it can be suede.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nine_legged_stool
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do rogues like leather armor?

Because it's made of hide.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LungBubbles
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
🚨︎ report
A quick court trial of a man charged with stealing men's underwear in his leather rectangular container

A brief case

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bossofthemoss07
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
🚨︎ report
The detective found the stolen leather bag in under a minute.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/no_di
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Tight leather jackets are hard to pull off.
πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/enhancin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2015
🚨︎ report
While out caroling one Christmas eve, Jeff & Don were tragically killed in the middle of singing "Deck the Halls". In a strange twist, they were reincarnated as ass-less leather chaps. Jeff looked at his friend and said...

..."Don, we now are gay apparel."

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AbattoirOfDuty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a South African coat that is half leather half fur.

Apartheid

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/3Dbabble
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Leather armor is best for sneak attacks

because it's made of hide

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
🚨︎ report
I failed my leather-working class this past semester.

The part that really hurts is that I really gave it my awl.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zamoose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
It's a scorching hot day at Canada's Wonderland and my GF says "how can that girl be wearing leather pants?"...

I say "cows do it all the time."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Angoos
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cat in a nice leather jacket?

Purr-suede-ing.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shed412
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2014
🚨︎ report
My friend dislikes fuzzy leather...

and his opinion cannot be "suede."

...I don't think I actually have a friend who thinks like this

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CronoZero15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Making leather is easy...

Some say it's pretty cut and dry!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordNick72
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2015
🚨︎ report
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 135
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Mehdi_haned
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather?

A shoe

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spallboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What sounds like a sneeze, and it's made of leather?

A shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 181
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brio98
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s sounds like a sneeze but is made of leather?

A shoe

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhatJamaican4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
OK. I admit it. I’m an unemployed leather worker.

I’ve got nothing to hide.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What sounds like a sneeze and is made out of leather?

A shoe

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arunie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather?

A shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brizzo7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Leather is great for sneaking around

Because its made of hide

πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnybou
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Leather is great for sneaking around because it’s made of hide.
πŸ‘︎ 303
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AwesomeW2017
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is leather great for sneaking around?

Because it's made of hide.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/One_Day_Dead
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is leather great for sneaking around?

Because it's made of hide!

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brookscorbs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report

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