Did you know that the fastest animal on land is the ostrich?

Actually, it's not but the fastest one is a cheetah

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alfie_13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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A polygamist lion walks into a bar with 3 of his wives: a giraffe, an ostrich and a llama. /r/Jokes/comments/jdou1c/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/castironspheres
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Why did the judge set the bail so low for the ostrich charged with assault?

He wasn't a flight risk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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What do you call an ostrich that doesn’t have a father?

A bostrich

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YouNamedMeeDog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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For over 30,000 years humans gave each other social "likes" by sharing beads made from ostrich eggs.

I guess you might call them emu-jis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Large birds are ostracized for being ostrich-sized.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApfelCore
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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An ostrich is impregnated by an alien.

It gives birth to an Australian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/borg2525
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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Did you hear about the race between the giraffe and the ostrich?

It was neck and neck the whole way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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Did you hear about the ostrich who was arrested?

He was let go, they didn’t think he was a flight risk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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Ostrich meat would be a market I could get into to make some good money...

but it probably wouldn't take off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/197708156EQUJ5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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If ostrich my budget, I could afford this imgur.com/gallery/1EUrg
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ew_modemac
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
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What do you call an ostrich that practices magic?

An ostwitch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sure_Dave
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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What did the camel say to the ostrich?

Nothing, it can't speak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1insevenbillion
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
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There's an ongoing armed seige occurring at at the zoo...

The gunmen have taken a number of ostriches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 17
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He said I could take the ostriches but not the ducks.

(Because he never gave a flying flock)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nftpc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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Did you hear about the man who was cancelled for pretending to be an emu?

He was ostrich-sized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLaborOnion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
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Have you heard about the chicken that got kicked out because it was too big?

It was ostrich sized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grandadthony
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
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Why did everyone ignore the tall flightless bird?

Because he was Ostrich-sized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPHFanEdits
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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Called the vets this morning...

Me: "Hello, I need to make an appointment for my pet Ostrich."

Vet: "Ok what's the problem?"

Me: "He's holding his head to one side."

Vet: "Hmm, maybe neck's weak?"

Me: "Haven't you got anything sooner?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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You'll definitely need an expert for that
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ELZEKO_gamer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Why did the big bird feel left out?

Because he was ostrich sized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weaponalpha450
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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HELP!? How do I make this joke work...cause everyone hates it....

Q: How big was the lonely finch?

A:Ostrich-sized

πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈπŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈπŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈπŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈπŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timoliciousiii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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When birds embarrass themselves..

...it’s very hawkward.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Did you hear what happened to the guy who had a fetish for large flightless birds?

He was ostrichized from society...so emuved away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jon_Cake
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2016
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Did You Hear About The Giant Duck?

None of the other ducks would play with him.

He was completely ostrich-sized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheJeizon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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Did you hear about the emu that was taller than all of his friends?

He was ostrich-sized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grievre
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2016
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Did you hear the one about the turkey that was so big none of the other turkeys would play with him?

He was ostrich-sized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obknaxious
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
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Did you hear about the giant bird they kicked out of the flock?

I understand he was ostrich-sized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorRed
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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