I told her: "But honey, you told me to MOO the lawn!"
So a black sheep took it upon himself to run into the woods to stop the birds. And it worked! The moral of the story? Lonely ewe can prevent forest flyers.
"I've eaten herbivore."
Father-in-law: they should have mooved them.
Me: they should have steaked it off.
Uncle: the farmer doesn't seem to be having a cow.
a few minutes later, as I'm posting this
Uncle: You really are milking this.
Cousin: that's utterly terrible.
Cause that's when the steaks are highest.
Edit: Well this is rare, I wasn't sure how well done this joke was. Thanks for the face palm.
I’m ok, but I’ve been badly grazed.
Manufacturers are determined to find a band-aid solution.
There are these two cows in a field gazing away when one cow says to the other cow, "Mooooooooo" The first cow looks at him and thinks a moment and says, "You know, I was thinking the very same thing."
... but eventually realized he loved and accepted his bison.
It's graze anatomy.
It’s called Graze Anatomy
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
Luckily it saw the fence in enough time, and it just grazed it
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
The steaks have never been higher.
Cause all they do is graze.
...but I prefer to graze anatomy.
I grew up in Vermont. Around my town were plenty of dairy farms, inviting the always wonderful manure aroma. An aroma that nearly forced my father to inhale deeply through his nose, saying, "Ah, fresh Vermont air!"
That's an excellent Dad one liner, as are most dad jokes, but he had another great one that I'm getting to.
You see, the hay bails we saw growing up in Vermont were mostly the cube variety. Hay bailing technology at the time created cubes of hay, so that's what dotted the fields they'd graze in.
As we grew older, we starting noticing the now more common round bails of hay. Dad was not pleased.
I asked him what the problem was or, at least, what his problem was with the round bails. The best jokes are set up when you ask for them.
So, he tells me. New farming technology allowed the round bails to be created more efficiently. They used less fuel in the bailers, took less passes on the field to gather the hay. They used less twine, and even though they didn't fil... keep reading on reddit ➡
Dad: Hey son, whats a metaphor? Me: It compares two... Dad: COWS TO GRAZE IN!
...It feels like he really GRAZES over the information.
One day a farmer's mare birthed two foals. One was named Hobbin, and the other Noggin. The two horses grew up and loved to race each other. One day the farmer noticed the two racing each other around the pasture and thought to himself, "Wow! These horses are quick!" So the next day he entered them into a local derby. As the race was about to start, the horses were rearing and snorting to get let out of the gate. As soon as the gates swung open, both horses immediately bolted to the front of the race as the announcer was going wild, "It's Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, and Hobbin wins by a nose!" Excited by the win, the farmer then enters them into the Kentucky Derby. Once again, as soon as the gates open, both horses fly to the front of the race and it's Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin and again, Hobbin wins by a nose. This continues in every race until Hobbin has won the Triple Crown. By this point the farmer is be... keep reading on reddit ➡
Once upon a time, there was a bull named Hannibal.
One day, he looked to the adjacent field, seperated by barbed wire, and saw a beautiful female cow grazing there. Naturally, being the show-off that he was, he decided to jump over the barbed wire fence to impress the lady. From that day onward, people just called him Hanni.