I said, “That’s a sweeping generalization.”
He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.
And the dentist thinks my hair is lovely
Me from the other room, "No, use a toothbrush".
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
We all have our floss.
Me: Isn’t that.....a sweeping generalization?
...just wait until bed time, Oral-B revealed.
Daughter: What are summer teeth?
Me: Well. Summer there. But some ain't.
Anyone else would of called it a teethbrush.
It's safe to say I'm going back to toilet paper.
She's a comb raider.
Let me just say...they weren't too bright.
He got valhallatosis.
You get an anal cavity!
If you don't, you might get gingervitus
This is fine.
He then proceeds to take out his dentures, brushes them and whistles.
A couple days later he went back to paper.
A toothbrush, a bed, and a chair.
My wife was helping brush my sons teeth when he turned his head and she accidentally got tooth paste on his nose. He looked into the mirror and said excitedly, "Mom, I look like I'm Bluedolph the reindeer". I knew there was more than one reason I keep this kid around.
Credit to u/echonight . This is a cross post from r/askreddit
There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes the car and leaves for the store. In the meantime, the dentist takes a nap on his day off. He turns off his phone so he won't be interrupted.
About 30 minutes later, the lazy brother gets into a head-on collision in the intersection by the grocery store. His vital signs are fading; he's unconscious and barely moving. An ambulance picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. He ends up in the Emergency Room under observation, but his condition is critical. They try calling his dentist brother, but he doesn't pick up because his phone is... keep reading on reddit ➡
Does this mean I can still burn combs and hair picks?
I guess he was a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-fraught-with-halitosis.
...but I think that's hogwash.
wife: Yes i did, but i still prefer the toilet paper.
Dad immediately goes "Is that when he was helping you with some painting?"
"Detail?! I thought that was what you grab a cat by"
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
He's advancing so quickly.
Only the ones you want to keep.
*happily, at 5, my daughter is still young enough to appreciate this one.