Imagine if Aladdin took place in Italy and when he finally finds the lamp and gives it a good rub, out pops...
I get most of my news as a cream that I rub on my skin
Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?
They have no balls to scratch
A truck of Vicks vapor rub crashed on the highway...
Luckily there was no traffic congestion...
Humbly submitted,
Dad
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....
I decided to rub ketchup in my eyes
In Heinz sight it wasn’t a good idea
You know how when you find a Genie's lamp, you're supposed to rub it?
Does that mean when you find a Frog's lamp, you Ribbit?
Why did the kid rub herbs on his scraped knee?
Because his Dad told him thyme heals all wounds.
A truck carrying Vicks vapor rub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.
Don't rub avocado in your eyes.
I’ve been prescribed anti-gloating cream... I can't wait to rub it in!
Dad: *Rubs couch* "Is this satin?"
Mom: "It's clearly not."
Dad: Sits down "It is now!"
What do you get when you rub two oranges together?
How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.”
I think my towel has a crush on me because whenever I rub it on me it gets wet
I keep a little rug on the passenger seat. It keeps me company while I’m driving and I give it a rub from time to time.
Henry rubs a magical lamp, a Genie pops out and grants him 3 wishes
Genie: What will your wish be?
Henry: I want to be rich
Genie: Of course, your wish is granted. What will you second wish be?
Rich: I want a lot of money...
If I rub my son with a chunk of beef, does he become a cowboy?
What do you call a sexist back rub?
I can't rub my beautiful ass anymore
Some strippers rub me the wrong way.
I got fired for giving a back rub to a psychic.
They don't tolerate massage-a-mystic behavior.
Wife was headed out to get a back rub so I says
Have a spawesome time. Wonder if she’ll come back.
Don't rub your bare ear against someone elses
You might get hearing aids
*Jasmine rubs a magic lamp* "Who are you?" "Princess Jasmine." "Then why dress like a whore?" "WTF! Aren't you a genie?"
You don't have to be a bad person to rub me the wrong way.
You just have to be a bad masseuse.
A lorry carrying 25 tons of Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned on the M6, near Birmingham, spilling it's load onto the carriage way.
The Police have said, there will be no congestion for at least 12hrs.
Asked my wife if she would like a foot rub..
Emphatically, she says "Yes! That would be nice!"
So I rubbed my foot on her back 💁
GF this morning: *Rubs my face* I have an eyelash
Me: yes, and you've got many more
Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they have no balls to scratch
Why does my wife rub her eyes when she wakes up?
Because she has no balls to scratch
A toad says ribbit ribbit, a horny toad says rub it rub it
How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.”
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