A truck carrying Vicks vapor rub overturned on the highway.

Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DalinarxBlackthorn
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 07
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Iโ€™ve been prescribed anti-gloating cream... I can't wait to rub it in!
๐Ÿ‘︎ 146
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cotswoldboy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.โ€
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ruchi565
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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I think my towel has a crush on me because whenever I rub it on me it gets wet
๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lightningmicrowave
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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Dad: *Rubs couch* "Is this satin?"

Mom: "It's clearly not."

Dad: Sits down "It is now!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 295
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lWoooooOl
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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Don't rub avocado in your eyes.

You might get guacoma.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/usernamesarethebane
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
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What do you get when you rub two oranges together?

Pulp friction

๐Ÿ‘︎ 612
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/xXJiveturkeyXx
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 03 2018
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I keep a little rug on the passenger seat. It keeps me company while Iโ€™m driving and I give it a rub from time to time.

Itโ€™s my car pet.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 29
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/procrastiprov
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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I can't rub my beautiful ass anymore

It ran away

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/yokato723
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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What do you call a sexist back rub?

Massage-ony

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/patsalem
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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Henry rubs a magical lamp, a Genie pops out and grants him 3 wishes

Genie: What will your wish be?

Henry: I want to be rich

Genie: Of course, your wish is granted. What will you second wish be?

Rich: I want a lot of money...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 25
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/baino39
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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If I rub my son with a chunk of beef, does he become a cowboy?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
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Some strippers rub me the wrong way.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DisRuptive1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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Wife was headed out to get a back rub so I says

Have a spawesome time. Wonder if sheโ€™ll come back.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MBTAHole
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Don't rub your bare ear against someone elses

You might get hearing aids

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pun420
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
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I got fired for giving a back rub to a psychic.

They don't tolerate massage-a-mystic behavior.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 228
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Omny87
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26 2016
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*Jasmine rubs a magic lamp* "Who are you?" "Princess Jasmine." "Then why dress like a whore?" "WTF! Aren't you a genie?"

I am misogyny.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 34
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/v_cleaner
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A lorry carrying 25 tons of Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned on the M6, near Birmingham, spilling it's load onto the carriage way.

The Police have said, there will be no congestion for at least 12hrs.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mykeuk
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You don't have to be a bad person to rub me the wrong way.

You just have to be a bad masseuse.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/spruce_sprucerton
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2017
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Why do dogs' ears go back when they rub?

It's more earodynamic

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/redneckrockuhtree
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2016
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I was watching a movie when my dog wanted a foot rub, so I pressed paws.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Misternibs
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 09 2014
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GF this morning: *Rubs my face* I have an eyelash

Me: yes, and you've got many more

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/arrederre
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
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A toad says ribbit ribbit, a horny toad says rub it rub it
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/harley11111
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.โ€
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FunnyGenious
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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