It finds the nearest skyscraper.
Does this mean 1 in 4 enjoy it?
Guess I'll have to start from scratch.
Take away the w.
I guess, I've got to start again from scratch.
And the doctor said he had dino-mites
Preferably made from scratch.
You’re a sight for psoriasis.
Her name is Tinea.
A labra-kadabra- dor
Asteroids.
...to tell you about my allergies.
He needed an itch to cook from scratch.
It’s a real head scratcher, and quite honestly I’m just itching to find a solution.
It was malarious
That will come back to bite me
I don’t think it would ITCH the spot
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
Tonight my wife and I were explaining why my son had to wear pajama bottoms after putting anti-itch cream on his legs, because it kept it from rubbing off on the sheets. “But doesn’t it rub off on the pajamas?” asked my daughter. My wife patiently explained that the cream could then rub back onto his legs.
“Yes,” I said. “It’s a perpetual lotion machine.”
Turns out he has a lot of spin itch...
Hair it itch (heritage)
That's probably going to come back to bite me later
He has been complaining about his ear for the past few days, possible infection. He was saying how he couldn't hear well and how his ear itched but he couldn't scratch it.
"Man, that must be ear-itating"
"Do your homework"
...would that be a rash decision?
The flee market
We’re going to have a B.B.
A patient came to the ER with a rash that she had been scratching for a few days. I told her it was an allergic reaction and that I'd prescribe her steroid cream. She asked me if she'd be discharged soon.
I said "Wow. You're really ... itching to get out of here."
Silence, then groans. Just the response I was looking for.
"Stone of a peach!"
Was a favorite of my Dad's. There are probably others that I can't recall. Share yours in the comments!
The itching in my eye was really out of control.
I hope this is the proper venue for this post. If not, feel free to delete me.
This came from when I was doing production lighting. Every once in a while during concert setup the audio tech would need help with mic check. Now the "real" audio guys would always just stand there going "check check check one two". Me being not a real audio guy wanted to have more fun than that, so I would always do "pages" as if I was paging people. But I would use these assumed names. Here is a partial list of names I would use. If you look closely you might notice a familiar u/name or two.
Paging Mister Lobbla … Mister Bob Lobbla (from Arrested Development)
Paging Mister Vitoomey … Mister Lee Vitoomey
Paging Mister Frescoe … Mister Al Frescoe
Paging Miss Haivure … Miss Bee Haivure
Paging Miss Mitch … Miss Miranda Mitch (my random itch - from The Mick?)
Paging Miss Dactyl … Miss Tara Dactyl
Paging Miss Falactec … Miss Anna Falactec
Paging Miss Tonin … Miss Sarah Tonin
Paging Mister Zinette … Mister Ray Zinnette
Paging Mister Reader … Mister Chip Reader
Paging Miss Kiaki … Miss Sue Kiaki
Paging Mister Doffish … Mister Stan Doffish
Paging Mister Debank … Mister Robin Debank
Paging Mister Festo … Mister Manny Festo
Paging Mister Ifornia … Mister Cal Ifornia
Paging Mister Itosis … Mister Hal Itosis
Paging Mister Saroni … Mister Rye Saroni
Paging Mister Nasium … Mister Jim Nasium
Paging Mister Aroon … Mister Mac Aroon
Paging Miss Ester … Miss Polly Ester
Paging Miss Rexia … Miss Anna Rexia
Paging Mister Zapan … Mister Pete Zapan
Paging Mister Tenuff … Mister Jess Tenuff
Paging Miss Eous … Miss Elaine Eous
Paging Mister Aroni … Mister Mac Aroni
Paging Mister Preneur … Mister Andre Preneur
Paging Mister Cetera … Mister Ed Cetera
Paging Mr. Zapple … Mr. Adam Zapple
Paging Mr. Bino … Mr. Al Bino
Paging Miss Slapter … Miss Ida Slapter
Paging Miss Talia … Miss Jenna Talia
Paging Mr. Rafone … Mr. Mike Rafone
Paging Mr. Zark … Mr. Noah Zark
Paging Miss Yoki … Miss Carey Yoki
Paging Mr. Foolery … Mr. Tom Foolery
Paging Mr. Atric … Mr. Jerry Atric
Paging Mr. Duttank … Mr. Phillip Duttank
Paging Mr. Anoma … Mr. Mel Anoma
Paging Mister Jass … Mr. Hugh Jass
Paging Mr. Onella … Mr. Sam Onella
Paging Mr. Maphobe … Mr. Jer Maphobe
Paging Mr. Packa … Mr. Al Packa
Paging Mister Dente … Mister Al Dente
Paging Miss Conda … Miss Anna Conda
Paging Miss Sharalike … Miss Sharon Sharalike
Paging Miss Bellum … Miss Sarah Bellum
Paging Miss Mennopey … Miss
... keep reading on reddit ➡A friend asked "What does it mean if your palm itches?" I replied "I'm sorry I don't make rash decisions."
there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
When I was at a restaurant I was rubbing my eye because it itched. I went to go wash it in the restroom at the place and when I came back, a person at my table said “Your eye is really red!” So then I said “Hey! You don’t need to RUB IT IN.”
Greeting punny people, I require your services to name an upcoming show on my YouTube channel.
The show will be about my first impressions on indie games that have been provided to me by developers. I need a humorous name that includes the word "indie" somehow.
Example: I have another show where I cover games over on Itch.io that I call "Scratching The Itch.io".
Thou shalt be credited for the name during the first episode.
Too many of them have the itch...Modric, Mandzukic, Perisic...etc
Back in the 90s, I remember playing some N64 after school when my dad came home from work. He comes into the living room and asks me what's up and, as a teen, I say "nuthin" and keep playing while he just stands there. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see he's looking at me with a stupid grin on his face that's he's trying to suppress poorly. Finally, he asks me to pause the game. I turn to him and he asks "You want a Hertz donut?" I obviously know this joke, but to make it worse, he's already making a fist, ready at his side. I roll my eyes and say "No, I do not want a Hertz donut." He just relaxes his hand and says surprised "Oh, you don't? You sure?" I say I'm sure and he says okay and walks back out to his car, leaving me to return to my GoldenEye. A few seconds later, he comes strolling back in the room, with a box of a dozen donuts in his hand, while he's eating one, with the same stupid grin on his face. On the box of donuts, "Dunkin" has been crudely crossed out and Hertz written beneath it in Sharpie marker. He walks into the kitchen saying "Guess you won't be having these Hertz donuts!" I'm in awe. I follow him into the kitchen and he finally relents and lets me take a donut. I ask him "So, you bought these donuts, and just put this joke together on the way home?" He says he thought of the joke earlier in the day at work and had to buy the donuts for the bit. I start laughing hysterically thinking about him sitting at work itching to leave to pull this off. As we sit there, quietly eating these donuts, he breaks the silence with a mouth full of donut, with "Had to stop at CVS to pick up a Sharpie too." I almost choked on the donut jimmies.
TLDR: Dad offered a Hertz donut, should've taken him up on it.
Mom: looking at the side of my neck This looks like a rash. Does it itch?
Me: No, I think it's just acne.
Mom: I don't know. Honey, what do you think?
Dad: Not sure... I don't want to make a rash decision.
I had something stuck in my eye so I was itching it profusely
Me: God there's something in my eye Dad: It looks like it's a finger.
It finds the nearest skyscraper.
It finds the nearest skyscraper
