Itchy Puns

Novak Djokovic

(This is my fiancé’s favourite joke he wanted me to share with all of you because he thinks it will make me ‘Reddit famous’) 😂😅

Because it had egg-zema.

She's suffered from eczema since she was a baby and I'm glad she can find humor in it.

Because it has shingles.

It's run by bearded artisants.

They called it poison IV

I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to make a rash decision.

He had pachydermatitis

...would that be a rash decision?

I asked why she pronounced it with a silent "B"

She was wearing leggings, thought something was poking/itching her and kept saying "there's something in my leggings!"

I finally said "yeah it's you"

I don't wanna make any rash decisions....

It was Earitated.

However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.

Itchy Nissan

Itchy knee

"This is a stick up!"

The itchy bitchy spider

Yeah, I had an itchy knee.

A one armed man, dangling from a cliff, with Itchy balls!

B-Itchy

The itchy bitchy spider

Dad: Was it itchy?

She was Bee-itchy!

An itchy Nissan

He who fall asleep with itchy bum, wake up with stinky finger.

Couldn't decide whether to post here or /r/nostalgia. I fell asleep reminiscing about this gem last night.

I find myself bee-itchy.

Mom: I'm so sorry! I scratched your car while backing out!

Dad: At least it's not itchy anymore.

I asked my GF what a superspy uses for itchy feet...

"Bond. Gold Bond."

I managed to duck the brush she threw at me.

Me: "My foot is really itchy even though I put the itching cream on it."

Dad: "There's your problem, you put itching cream on it instead of anti-itch cream."

Then again, I'm quite oblivious to his subtle jokes, but I think this one takes the cake:

So anyway, the other day he had me look something up for him on my laptop. Occasionally, my mouse pad lags and this was one of those times. I began to rub my finger to get it to work when my dad lays this one one me: "¿Tiene comezón o qué?" Which is roughly translated to: "Is it(the laptop) itchy or what?"

Now, I'm sure if I was a dude and my dad was one of those dads, he would've said something along the lines of my laptop's mouse pad being equivalent to a woman's nether regions. But that might just be the way I think.

Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.

However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.

Poison IV would just make you kinda itchy

Poisons I, II, and III were deadly...

Poison IV just made you itchy.