My boss asked me, "Why do you come out in rashes every time I give you your wages ?"
I said, "Because I am allergic to peanuts."
What do pigs put on their rashes?
What does a pig put on rashes?
What do you give a pig with a rash?
My son keeps making rash decisions.
As a dermatologist, it's all in a day's work.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1001 cures for itches."
I guess, I've got to start again from scratch.
My dad just said "Teddy with a rash" to himself and rubbed his hands together as we got in the car..
When I asked what he meant he said "sore-ted" and I just shook my head.
What kind of rash does an apatosaurus get?
My Dermatologist was fired today
He made too many rash decisions
The number 1 in Japan must be a rash.
Why can’t you trust dermatologists?
They make rash decisions.
My friend broke out crying when I mentioned her hand rash.
My 1 week old son has some bad diaper rash.
He’s pretty butthurt about it.
I broke out with a rash due to an adverse reaction to something.
While listing the things I ate and touched that morning to the doctor I mentioned I had a piece of a pineapple upside-down cake; my dad who was in the room with me chuckled and said to the doctor "he always had problems with upside-down cakes, but not right-side up ones. Rest of the day he kept telling people that's the reason I had an allergic reaction.
Did you hear everybody who works down at the hospital got some kind of skin rash?
They think it's a staff infection.
What do pigs put on a rash?
I tried to get rid of this rash on my foot, but I couldn't.
Diaper rash is a pain in the ass
I asked my dermatologist why my skin is so itchy a year ago, and he still hasn’t answered me.
I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to make a rash decision.
So I asked my dad if he had any rash cream..
He hands me this: http://imgur.com/NSdNJTP
I tried to cheat during my jog by taking a shortcut through some bushes, but I didn’t realize it was poison ivy...
That was a rash decision.
I made the decision to not date the girl with skin lesions on her face too hastily...
I never think twice about scratching myself
it's always a rash decision
I take my time when choosing a diaper cream...
I don't want to make a quick, rash decision!
“I’d like to prescribe you a topical ointment for your skin irritation,” my doctor said.
“Woah, woah, doc,” I said, “Let’s not make any rash decisions.”
I just spent hundreds of dollars online buying expensive ointments for my skin condition.
That was a rash decision.
My doctor couldn't decide if they wanted to prescribe me hydrocortisone or diphenhydramine.
and in the end they had to make a rash decision
My nurse just shook her head.
A patient came to the ER with a rash that she had been scratching for a few days. I told her it was an allergic reaction and that I'd prescribe her steroid cream. She asked me if she'd be discharged soon.
I said "Wow. You're really ... itching to get out of here."
Silence, then groans. Just the response I was looking for.
After having an allergic reaction to poison ivy I decided not to get it treated...
man have I made a rash decision
My wife offered me some benadryl for my poison ivy, but I told her I'd have to think about it.
I don't want to make any rash decisions right away.
I got the sack from the Dermatology Clinic for misdiagnosing shingles...
Which I thought was a little rash.
From Dad Joke of the day on facebook.
Bathroom dad joked my eight year old
My three year old daughter needs help wiping her backside after using the bathroom (#2) sometimes. It's that or she might get a rash... oh, the joys of parenting. My eight year old son was in the hallway.
Son: Dad, why do you need to help [daughter] wipe her butt?
Me: Because she does a shitty job.
(Yes, in the interest of the dad joke, I did say shit to my eight year old. He's heard it before.)
My doctor prescribed me ointment for my impulsiveness.
He said it would help with my rash decisions.
It's very stressful working with dermatologists.
They're always making rash decisions.
Me to SO: I had a dream that a cow tried to sell me spoiled milk...
SO: really???
Me: It was udderly ridiculous.
The doctor gave me advice about my allergic reaction...
He warned me not to do make any rash decisions
Here's the skinny
A friend asked "What does it mean if your palm itches?"
I replied "I'm sorry I don't make rash decisions."
Doctor, doctor, will my measles be better by next Monday?
I don’t wanna make any rash promises
My friend is a county-renowned dermatologist...
He often makes rash decisions.
My son asked me to take him to the hospital because he had a big red mark on his face...
I said, “Let’s not make any rash decisions.”
My Dermatologist was fired today...
...they say he was just making too many rash decisions.
What does a pig apply when it has a rash?
I took a shortcut through some bushes, but didn’t realize I was walking into poison ivy...
That was a rash decision.
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