I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Heβll be cutting your grass
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
Laying on the grass...βtwo tiredβ...to move
π︎ 40
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Apparently, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a brother, who has a very successful grass-cutting business.
π︎ 221
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
Iβm like a cow in tall grass,
Iβm utterly tickled to be here.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
Baby grass snake says to her mum, am I a poisonous snake?
Mum says no baby.
The baby grass snake says, Thank god for that ive just bitten my toungue.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
My cat just cut the grass.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
What do you call a painter who loves running through the grass?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
Why was it so easy to see the aircraft on the grass lands?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because itβs pasture age
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 05 2020
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
Wasnβt in the mood to cut the grass.
I really need to get mowtivated.
π︎ 26
π
︎ May 04 2020
My girlfriend played golf with her friend. She lost the engagement ring I bought her in the tall grass by the fairway...
It was a diamond in the rough.
Credit (not quite the same): Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 02, 2020
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 02 2020
I recently encountered a grass snake.
He told me lots of bad things about grass.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
It is purple/red and makes a nibbling sound when you squat in the grass
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 04 2020
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please donβt make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 13 2020
Feel that grass. Do it
π︎ 65
π
︎ Sep 10 2019
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 13 2020
When I bought my first house, I planted emo grass.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
Roses are red. Violets are read. The grass is red.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 01 2020
About to go mow the grass after getting stung by a bee
Told my wife, "I hope I don't have any flash backs to Bee-ietnam"
My stuff is out on the street
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 25 2019
What do you call it when you get high in a patch of tall grass?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
π︎ 28
π
︎ Sep 03 2019
Shouldnt foie grass be called quackamole?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 27 2019
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
I removed some grass from my front yard in the shape of my favorite movie/video game weapon.
But my HOA informed me that they don't allow sod-off shotguns.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 19 2019
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
ha ha ha ha ha ha get it?!?!?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 07 2019
Why do cows like to eat grass?
Cud itβs their favorite food.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 25 2019
I just got my cow to cut all the tall grass in my field.
What a great lawn moo-er!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 01 2019
What do you call a cow eating grass?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 06 2019
I would like to cut the grass
But itβs against the lawn
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 15 2019
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: Thatβs on a need to mow basis.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 10 2019
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 08 2019
What fatal mistake did the blade of grass make after being fertilized?
It shouted, βI want mower!β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 24 2019
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 28 2019
My grass looks so good its chicken proof!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 25 2019
I can't decide if I should cut the grass or update the bathroom
I guess I'll just start with Moen
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 13 2019
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
Well, I guess weβll just have to make dew!
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 09 2020
I have emo grass
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
Iβd like to cut the grass
But itβs against the lawn
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 22 2019
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