When people misspell barely like barley, they’re not making a mistake

They’re just going against the grain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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I can't seem to grow oats or barley, or spelt in the mountains where I live. I guess it's true what they say...

No plains no grains

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahughman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my own grown barley

My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuke_k9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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Why did the farmer mistakenly work extra hard to keep barley and wheat away from his prized ox?

The vet had recently diagnosed him with silly yak disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/das_bic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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So my girlfriend asks me "How do you feel out a barley"

My response?

Pick it's grain... Ask it wheats the matter... Ask it why it's all in a husk...

Turns out she meant to type "How do you feel about barley" and wasn't setting up a joke... (I use my hands to feel about barley)

I think I spend to much time on this sub :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boboknowsall
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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Wait...hops and barley make you smarter?

Well they made Bud wiser

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisCGCToo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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A son of a long line of wheat farmers decided to plant barley.

He was going against the grain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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What did the wheat ask the barley?

Rye would you say that?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spathens
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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What does a Jewish man do with barley?

He brews it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ‘€︎ u/James123182
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2013
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I told my daughter I wasn’t going to make a joke about the farmers crops

It would be corny anyway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jcmatthews66
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ‘€︎ u/pinkpunther96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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I know, it's a little corny.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ‘€︎ u/babydoll_bd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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I was hired to represent the hard outer layers of cereal grain in a positive light and by doing so help to increase awareness and sales.

I'm a bran ambassador.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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My pastor wasn’t a fan of my new Jesus Riceβ„’

He said not to take the lords name in grain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spyro4now
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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I cropped this picture.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Son was playing Need For Speed...

He's doing a mission (I'm barley paying attention). I glance up and there's 2 cop cars trying to stop him. They get on either side of him and pinch him to a stop.

Son: Dang. The cops got me.

Me: What happened? Did they cop block you? (still chuckling to myself)

BTW, He's only 7 years old. He has no idea why I thought it was funny. My wife gave me the look of disapproval, so success was had.

Edit: I just want to let everyone know that I didn't notice my barely/barley mistake until after the hop joke below. Thanks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDildo
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2014
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So, the local brewery just hired a one-legged guy

He's in charge of the hops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2017
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Outstanding g imgur.com/5oI8CJd
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KluKlayu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2015
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What did the glass of wine say to the beer?

Nothing... They barley knew each other.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/W1GHTY
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?

They have hops.

πŸ‘︎ 262
πŸ‘€︎ u/JPINFV
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
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Its tea time

What tea is called tea even though its not really tea?

Barley tea


Because its barely tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roofwalker99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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You guys hear about that grain farmer?

He could barley wheat for his crops to come in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dokpsy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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Why did the farmer get arrested for having headaches?

Because he had my grains

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IONTOP
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2017
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Lots of people are farming wheat and other grains nowadays...

But I have barley any.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/NonstopSuperguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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So, I'm waiting in the check out line carrying a 30 pack of Coors Light.

When the lady in front of me looks at me and says.

Lady: That beer look real heavy.

Me: Well ma'am, it says right here on the box that it's light beer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muzzy_logan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
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Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Γ‰clair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut


Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe


Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

LΓ©mon: The Professional


Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat


The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con GruyΓ©re

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood


Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kat_fogg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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What is a brewer’s favorite Drake song?

Started from the barley, now we’re beer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redwheelbarrow85
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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My friend: β€œDo you think you have what it takes to make your own beer?”

Me: β€œJust barley.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
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I work in a liquor store and got owned by an old guy who I thought had an honest question...

"How do they make Budweiser?" "Well, Budweiser is made partly from rice and uses forced carbonation, whereas most craft beer is made from barley and the carbonation comes from bottle conditioning." "No. They send him to school."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lux514
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2015
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No wrong way to god

My dad and I are always on serious terms and we barley joke around. The other day we were driving into the church parking lot and he went in the wrong way, to his attention I say "dad you just entered the wrong way" to which he replied "there is no wrong way to god" I've never smiled so hard with him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kadam23
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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Feel like a beer

My girlfriend NEVER drinks, but she had a little bit of a stressful day this day and was kidding. We were walking into the grocery store after work.

Her: Whew, I feel like a beer!

Me: [squint and give the slightest grin]

Her: I don't feel like A beer! I feel like HAVING A beer!

Me: Well I feel like a beer. Look at all these hops. [hop a few times with feet together like an idiot]

She enjoyed my lame joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meinsamr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2016
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I've got one...

When I was younger my dad would always sing this jingle

"Shes got freckles on her but shes pretty." and I kind of always giggled.

fast forward like 3 more years and he sings it one day and I am blown away as I realize he was saying the entire time "Shes got freckles on her butt, shes pretty"

Also he used to close his right eye while driving and told me he closed both of them and to tell him which direction to steer. I was like 4-6 and barley knew left from right, especially under stress. I always freaked out. He had a great time with it. I can't wait to do these things to my kids.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mad_V
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
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