So my family and I were watching TV and an ad for oat milk came up.
I asked out loud "how do they milk oats?"
My stepsister responded "they crush them until they cry"
I instinctively said "they do that with grapes too but they only wine"
No plains no grains
I didn’t know i was that out of touch
The bartender says, “what do you think this is, a granola bar? “.
They milk a goat and remove all of the G.
Her: who would be Hall and who would be Oats?
Me: I better be Oats because you're gluten intolerant.
She actually laughed.
Quacker oats
Today my wife was making oatmeal cookies, and was getting rolled oats out of the cupboard. I adamantly told her to STOP and she can't use them yet. Grabbing them, I proceeded to walk across the kitchen, and roll them across the floor. "There. NOW you have rolled oats," I say. Only to receive a facepalm and to be told to get out of the kitchen...
Hollow Notes
They were haulin' oats
We're all in the same oat.
It was spelt incorrectly.
“Grande macchiato with oat milk, please.”
The cashier started to process his order, until the man asked “Why are you wearing a surgical mask?”
“I’m not”, said the barista, “it’s a coughy filter”.
Haulin’ Oats... 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ I’ll show myself to the door. -dad
She told me, “Honey, lunches of oats.”
The bartender says, "hey."
The horse says, "neigh. But I'll take some Quick Oats for the road."
The asphalt in the corner says, "thanks."
It was a real rye-ot.
He was Haulin' Oats.
We were playing "restaurant", and this was a special restaurant that only only animals went to.
In the middle of playing a family of goats came to the restaurant and they were ordering their food.
"Daddy, what's the baby goat going to eat?"
"The kid's meal"
I cracked myself up
An oataku.
When she declined, I told her she was missing oat.
Holland oats
A keen oat speaker
Holland Oats.
They're haulin' oats.
Haulin' oats.
Haulin' Oats?
Oats oats oats oats...
He was haulin' oats.
She looked at me kind of grossed out and I told her: everyone loves Halls and Oats
He was tired of Hallin Oates.
"Well son, I'm haulin' oats!"
Holland oats
Here is a small selection of my dad's choice dadjokes.
Me - "Dad, hold on."
"I don't have an on to hold!"
Me - "Hey!"
Dad - "Oats!" or on occasion, in response to 'hey!' "...is for horses!"
Makes me roll my eyes so hard every time.
Me: They may as well be puritans. Female Coworker: Aren't they Quakers? Aren't Quakers the horse people? Dad Coworker: No, they're the oats people.
