My wife insisted on pouring flour into the melted butter.
I told her she would roux the day.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I don't know whether dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour exists, but I'll believe it when I see it.
You can say I'm agnocchic.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
I just won a contest where you had to guess the recipe that contains flour, eggs, milk, vanilla and baking powder
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︎ Dec 27 2020
I was at the grocery store the other day getting flour
When a guy walks up next to me and grabs some yeast.
So I said, "A man of culture, I see!"
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︎ Dec 19 2020
I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flour...
My teacher said, I'm the perfect roll model.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
The delivery guy accidentally got us 3 extra bags of flour
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︎ Aug 20 2020
sit on flour to collect nectar
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︎ Apr 28 2020
What kind of flour do you buy an orphan
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︎ May 04 2020
What is the active ingredient in self raising flour?
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︎ Jun 23 2020
Came home with all purpose flour. My wife asked why I didnβt get bread flour.
I told her there wasnβt any, in these times bakers canβt be choosers.
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︎ Jul 05 2020
Some people like King Arthur Flour.
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︎ Jul 02 2020
I tried making flour mate but it didn't work!
I thought it could be bred!
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︎ May 02 2020
When I have kids, I will punish them by making them mix melted butter and flour until I send them to bed.
They will roux the day that they anger me.
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︎ Mar 19 2020
I asked my dad if he could fry some potatoes, flour, and egg in a shallow patty for me...
He said that's a latke ask for!
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︎ Dec 17 2019
Romantic flour arrangement
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︎ Feb 15 2019
My friend has an addiction to flour and is in recovery. To test him, I brought him to a Panera company...
I was wrong in thinking he was clean and no longer would knead it.
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︎ Nov 08 2019
Told my dad I needed '00 flour' for baking
"What's the difference? Does it have a licence to mill?"
It's an awful joke, but live and let rye.
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︎ Nov 21 2016
I sent my husband Valentine's flours today.
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︎ Feb 14 2019
My wife warned me not to add too much flour, but I don't mind a little more.
Bready or not, here I dough.
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︎ May 21 2019
I build factories where grain is grinded into flour. You might think my job isn't lucrative.
But this year I made one mill.
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︎ Oct 03 2018
(cross post) I tried to come up with a pun for flour and sugar but I forgot.
I'll have to sift through my mind to find it.
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︎ Dec 14 2018
I was impressed that my cousin had won a Gold Medal, until I found out that they were just raffling off bags of flour where he worked.
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︎ Dec 23 2018
I prefer my flour to be dolphin safe...
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︎ Apr 20 2019
I buddy of mine gave me some flour made from ancient grains. Now I swap small bags of it for baked goods.
I get pie with a little spelt from my friends!
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︎ Mar 21 2019
With great flour
Comes great riceponsibility
-Uncle Ben
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︎ May 02 2019
My friend found bugs in her expensive organic bread flour.
She didn't want to waste it, but I assured her that throwing it away is the lesser of two weevils.
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︎ Jun 29 2018
Why can't I open this bag of flour tortillas?
Because it's Mission: Impossible.
(Credit to my wife who said that and started singing the movie theme when I was having trouble opening the bag)
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︎ Nov 10 2018
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers
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︎ Feb 13 2019
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︎ Oct 18 2015
We followed my dad's death bed wish and buried him covered in baked flour, tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese and pepperoni...
R.I.P dad, Rest In Pizza.
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︎ Nov 12 2018
Did you hear that flour and sultanas are starting a family
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︎ Nov 03 2017
I was gonna make bread this morning, but when i checked the pantry for flour...
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︎ Mar 11 2018
I'd really hate to cook flour and butter...
in fact, I'd roux the day
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︎ Sep 25 2017
Whats the purpose of the flour in that recipe?
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︎ Sep 02 2017
My wife: "Could you please go down to the basement pantry and get me the self-rising flour?"
Me: "If it's self rising, won't it make its way up here on it's own?"
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︎ Jun 21 2017
I tried to make a yeast and flour mixture to get my Indian bread recipe going . . .
turns out it was a naan starter.
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︎ Jun 20 2016
Pizza chefs who have flour on their face at the end of a long shift...
...call that a 5-oβclock shadough.
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︎ Dec 15 2016
Stupid crackers! You'll never amount to anything! What are you, anyway? Flour, salt, and what? You're nothing!
When my wife finally asked what I was doing, yelling at a bag of crackers, I explained that the recipe called for 30 crushed crackers.
That happened 2 days ago. By coincidence, we had another recipe for dinner that required crushed crackers, and my wife made sure I understood that it meant physically, not verbally.
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︎ Nov 23 2015
I was making bread with my son, who asked me how much flour to put in the bowl.
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︎ May 10 2017
Did you hear about the cook onboard the USS Enterprise who spilled flour all over the galley?
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︎ Apr 21 2016
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