My wife insisted on pouring flour into the melted butter.

I told her she would roux the day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhantomBanker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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My flatmate and I are single AF so I got her flours for valentines day....
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpohieAuz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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What type of flour is sold at airports?

Plain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tome869
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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I don't know whether dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour exists, but I'll believe it when I see it.

You can say I'm agnocchic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alterom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I was at the grocery store the other day getting flour

When a guy walks up next to me and grabs some yeast.

So I said, "A man of culture, I see!"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flour...

My teacher said, I'm the perfect roll model.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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sit on flour to collect nectar
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πŸ‘€︎ u/homodemen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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What kind of flour do you buy an orphan

Self raising flour

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillRespectively1
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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What is the active ingredient in self raising flour?

Initiative

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BorgClanZulu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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The delivery guy accidentally got us 3 extra bags of flour

They were not kneaded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chocolava
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Came home with all purpose flour. My wife asked why I didn’t get bread flour.

I told her there wasn’t any, in these times bakers can’t be choosers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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I tried making flour mate but it didn't work!

I thought it could be bred!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatogodofDoom
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Some people like King Arthur Flour.

I prefer Whole Gawain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lumpbeefbroth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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When I have kids, I will punish them by making them mix melted butter and flour until I send them to bed.

They will roux the day that they anger me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quantum13_6
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Told my dad I needed '00 flour' for baking

"What's the difference? Does it have a licence to mill?" It's an awful joke, but live and let rye.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SusanBoyleJr42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
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Romantic flour arrangement
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amandajag
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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I asked my dad if he could fry some potatoes, flour, and egg in a shallow patty for me...

He said that's a latke ask for!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ptshoink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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I sent my husband Valentine's flours today.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wheelz_10
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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My friend has an addiction to flour and is in recovery. To test him, I brought him to a Panera company...

I was wrong in thinking he was clean and no longer would knead it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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I build factories where grain is grinded into flour. You might think my job isn't lucrative.

But this year I made one mill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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(cross post) I tried to come up with a pun for flour and sugar but I forgot.

I'll have to sift through my mind to find it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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My wife warned me not to add too much flour, but I don't mind a little more.

Bready or not, here I dough.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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My friend found bugs in her expensive organic bread flour.

She didn't want to waste it, but I assured her that throwing it away is the lesser of two weevils.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InterwebWeasel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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Looks like they added too much flour ipfs.pics/QmP8qGmyoWoG3Ur…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dachewie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
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I prefer my flour to be dolphin safe...

...and not all porpoise!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lawbreakingmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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With great flour

Comes great riceponsibility -Uncle Ben

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Why can't I open this bag of flour tortillas?

Because it's Mission: Impossible.

(Credit to my wife who said that and started singing the movie theme when I was having trouble opening the bag)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumboltQuadrant
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour

She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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We followed my dad's death bed wish and buried him covered in baked flour, tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese and pepperoni...

R.I.P dad, Rest In Pizza.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that flour and sultanas are starting a family

They're raisin bread.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CybergothiChe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2017
🚨︎ report
I was gonna make bread this morning, but when i checked the pantry for flour...

There was naan.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smirkingrev3nge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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I tried to make a yeast and flour mixture to get my Indian bread recipe going . . .

turns out it was a naan starter.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingBooRadley
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2016
🚨︎ report
I'd really hate to cook flour and butter...

in fact, I'd roux the day

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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Whats the purpose of the flour in that recipe?

all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoMilkTheCowsBro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife: "Could you please go down to the basement pantry and get me the self-rising flour?"

Me: "If it's self rising, won't it make its way up here on it's own?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StChas77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Pizza chefs who have flour on their face at the end of a long shift...

...call that a 5-o’clock shadough.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Stupid crackers! You'll never amount to anything! What are you, anyway? Flour, salt, and what? You're nothing!

When my wife finally asked what I was doing, yelling at a bag of crackers, I explained that the recipe called for 30 crushed crackers.

That happened 2 days ago. By coincidence, we had another recipe for dinner that required crushed crackers, and my wife made sure I understood that it meant physically, not verbally.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spongebue
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2015
🚨︎ report
I was making bread with my son, who asked me how much flour to put in the bowl.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cook onboard the USS Enterprise who spilled flour all over the galley?

He had a starch wreck.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justablur
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2016
🚨︎ report

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