What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
My left nut thinks it's much better than my right nut...
He can be very egotesticle.
Those parents must be nuts
Now that Donald Trump is no longer President, the United States is experiencing post-nut clarity.
I was eating mixed nuts with my girlfriend
... when one accidentally fell out of my mouth and into the nut bowl. My girlfriend then asked: "So if I find a wet nut in there, I'm just supposed to act ca-shew?"
Yeah, I'm definitely putting a ring on her.
Did you know Pecans are one of the most positive type of nuts out there...
Else, they’d be called Pecants
Where did the nut keep his money?
I joined to pieces of metal today without nuts and bolts or welding
The whole process was riveting
I asked a girl for her hand. She thinks I'm nuts.
I held the nuts in a poker game once,
It meant a great deal to me.
Challenge: No Nut November Accomplished
My 6 year old gave occupations to the Planters Mixed Nuts.
Cashews are bankers.
Peanuts are urologists.
And Chestnuts are plastic surgeons.
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
I'll see myself out
What is the angriest nut?
What is the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts
Beer nuts are a $1:37. Deer nuts are under a buck.
What did one nut say while chasing the other nut?
People ask me how I cope with No Nut November...
Its easy, anytime I even think about eating a nut, I have a wank instead!
What is the wealthiest nut?
What is a scholar’s favourite kind of nut?
What nut is always begging for attention?
Do you know why Aldi’s doesn’t sell its own brand of nuts?
Because it’s would be called Aldi’s Nuts
Which is the grand master of nuts?
What kind of nut is attached to the ceiling?
A Wall-nut.
From my 8 year old son tonight. I am so proud.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
What do you call a nut that fell out of your bowl and rolled under the couch?
What kind of nuts only accept credit card payments?
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.47, deer nuts are under a buck.
Made this joke up in the 3rd grade (you can't tell by the pricing). I'm very old now. Still a winner.
An ice cream man was found unconscious in his van today, covered in chocolate sprinkles, hundreds and thousands, raspberry sauce, caramel & nuts.
Police believe he tried to top himself.
What kind of nuts can you wear on your feet?
What was the name of the Egyptian that was buried with chocolate and nuts?
TIL that cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
I used to work at a nut farm
The work conditions were great but the salary was peanuts
Interviewer: "So, how was your last job in a nut shell?"
Me: "I never worked in a nut shell."
Railway companies must be nuts.
After all, they have loco-motives.
Archaeologists in Egypt have unearthed a tomb containing a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.
They believe it is the remains of the long lost Pharaoh Rocher.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
You know what takes nuts?
Nuts
Beer nuts for sale $ 1:25 per bag Deer nuts under a Buck
(very slightly vulgar) What’s the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer nuts are just over five dollars, deer nuts are only under a buck.
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are around $1.25 and deer nuts are just under a buck.
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Well beer nuts are usually around a buck fifty, and deer nuts are always under a buck.
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