Poet wanna cracker?
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
I had to throw an entire box of animal crackers away.

The seal was broken.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Two mice were hurrying across a cracker box.

One asked, "Why are we going so fast?" "Don't you see?" said the other. "It says 'Tear along dashed line.'"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wthreye
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
THE GRAM CRACKER IS A LIE
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johntwit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you hit a rude teenager with a pack of cracker?

Assaulting a salty teen with saltines

My dad just told me this one- hope you guys liked it πŸ’–

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
Man, we’re almost out of crackers...

We’re crackalackin

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/claytorismorris
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I just made a list of my top 10 favourite Dad jokes. The first 9 are great but the last one is an absolute cracker
  1. great

  2. great

  3. great

  4. great

  5. great

  6. great

  7. great

  8. great

  9. great

  10. An absolute cracker

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I want to make s'mores, but I'm out of graham crackers...

Good thing I have Instagram

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kaze03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I just threw away an entire box of animal crackers.

I had to because the seal was broken.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a miscellaneous pile of marshmallows, chocolate, and gram-crackers?

A Smoregasbord

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastedSoaps
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s a nut cracker v.redd.it/7r1mjvs79ty21
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_swagg_man_
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Goes well with crackers
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scaulbylausis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
*wife drops phone into container with daughter’s goldfish crackers*

Oh no you dropped your phone in the fish bowl now it’s gunna be all wet

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LetsAspire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fight between two crackers?

A battle of Ritz!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arceiss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
In college my nickname was safe cracker.

Not because I was good at cracking safes but because I was a non-threatening white guy.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cracker say when he checked into a 5 star hotel?

β€œThis is the Ritz!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaimp3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently bought my daughter a box of animal crackers.

Going through the box the elephant was ok. The lion was ok. The seal was broken and I had to throw out the box.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new crackers you can see but can’t taste or digest?

Yeah... they’re called HoloGrahams.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boop66
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I was making my kid cheese and crackers

And when I handed it to her I said, β€œBe careful, this cheese is extra sharp.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Popes1ckle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been informed we're out of crackers...

We're cracka-lacking

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Whenever I need energy I always go for Goldfish crackers

They’re loaded with carpohydrates

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blamethedog16
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend was eating some cheese and salami on crackers. She accidentally cut off a very large piece of the Salami. I told her it was a muenster. She just stared at me flatly so I apologized.

I told her I was sorry for such a cheesy joke.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tyranous13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Only crackers stay at the Ritz

Rich white people/Hotel if you don't get it

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dsol2000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Went to cracker barrel yesterday for lunch with my dad and we got their new signature fried chicken

The waitress gave us our food and he started looking the pieces over really intently. He turned them all over and checked every side.

Waitress: is everything okay sir? Dad: No i think something's wrong with my chicken. (Looking at the pieces for a second time) Waitress: I'm sorry, what's wrong? Dad: I don't think they signed my chicken.

I lost it.

Happy Fathers day weekend!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rofsdraw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Crackers recently became popular again.

They've been a wafer a while.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Egyptian back cracker?

A Cairopractor

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nuttybowler11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new tomato soup and crackers movie starring Tom Cruise?

It’s called Bisquey Ritzness

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Christmas Cracker Jokes NEEDED

I need your best/worst cracker jokes for a groanworthy advent calendar I'm making last minute.

Help!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/genericonlychild
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
🚨︎ report
My son took a box of crackers out of the cabinet to get a snack. I told him to put it back with the box top facing out to make it easier next time...

I told him it was a get Ritz quick scheme...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titeman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What joke was in your Christmas cracker? Mine was, "Why did the baby cookie cry?"

Because his mother was a wafer so long.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Warmheart_84
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
White people who use Instagram are Gram Crackers
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lossftw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
@ Dinner- I have cheese but no cracker.....

I'm Cracka-lackin

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madastep12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I heard that they started making powdered graham crackers. Just add water.

They’re calling them insta-grahams.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Just heard this cracker

Son: Are there any more Fish Fingers?

Dad: Yes, they're in the oven.

Son: How long will they be?

Dad: About 4 inches

Son: ΰ² _ΰ² 

πŸ‘︎ 231
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OneAnimeBatman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Why Did The Cracker Get Arrested?

A saltine

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MuchoTornado
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What type of cracker can a vegan not eat?

Animal crackers!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kstan777
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
One day I was driving while eating goldfish crackers

And as I was driving, I accidentally dropped a cracker into my lap. Without even thinking I said, "Darn it, I knew these were going to go straight to my thighs!"

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juco818
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2015
🚨︎ report
Dropped my cracker in a Snack Pack....

....pudding on the ritz.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
🚨︎ report
This cracker was lost on my 2 1/2 year old this morning

Joshua: Daddy, I'm hungry

Me: Nice to meet you Hungry, I'm Austria...

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolspot80
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad, I think we're out of crackers.

I guess you could say we are crackalacking.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sswitch404
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend said she lost a pack of crackers.

I said "so you're cracka lacking"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeBurge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2014
🚨︎ report
I threw away a box of animal crackers.

The seal was broken.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinBender
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I have 10 jokes. The first 9 are great, but the last one's an absolute cracker
  1. Great
  2. Great
  3. Great
  4. Great
  5. Great
  6. Great
  7. Great
  8. Great
  9. Great
  10. An absolute cracker
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IgnorableLetuce
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report

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