Did you hear? An attempted murder was foiled due to the assailant's severe grain allergy.
The killer was found, dead to rice.
My trademark for extremely small grains of rice was rejected
Not sure why. I call it "Minute Rice" and it only takes about an hour to cook.
What do you call a malfunctioning grain elevator?
Hi! What do you call a physically fit grains farmer?
I was gonna make a joke about grains
But it was a little corny
What do you call it when a grain of sand loses its trane of thought?
Son, take the bible with a grain of salt...
... hence, don't take it as gospel.
Me and a couple of friends are arguing how to get out of the grain silo.
We're all in the same oat.
How many grains of salt are in a salt shaker.
The neighbour's sheep failed to break into the grain shed.
There was no battering ram.
I found a typo on a bag of grains
It was spelt incorrectly.
If you take grain to a granary, where do you take corn?
Going against the grain here
Chinese takeout: $15.00
Gas to get there: $1.50
Getting home to find they’ve forgotten one of your dishes...
Riceless
What do you call a semi driver rocking out to 80s music while carrying a load of grain?
Haulin’ Oats...
🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
I’ll show myself to the door.
-dad
What does the farmer say when he sees his grain has caught fire?
I was hired to represent the hard outer layers of cereal grain in a positive light and by doing so help to increase awareness and sales.
Why does Darth Vader prefer coarse-grain pepper?
He hates it when it's high ground.
What do you call a whole grain that’s zero calories but is rarely used?
The paper this was printed on has a purple grain
Every loaf of bread is a tragic reminder of what can happen to grain
if it doesn't become whiskey.
Did you hear the news? Some outlaws were running from the police, ducked into Farmer Johnson's barn and stashed their dynamite in his grain. One of his cattle got into the grain and ate the dynamite. They were afraid the poor fella was going to blow up.
I think that's abominable.
You guys hear about that grain farmer?
He could barley wheat for his crops to come in.
A bunch of grains got together to protest.
Did you know during the third Reich there was a project to produce energy from a certain type of grain
I'm surprised you never heard of Hitler's rice to power
What did the farmer say when his grains were harvested?
I build factories where grain is grinded into flour. You might think my job isn't lucrative.
But this year I made one mill.
If you found a tribe of women in a giant field of wheat, would it be an Amazon grain forest?
The price of grass fed beef is higher than grain fed beef, but you wanna know what beef is the most expensive?
Weed fed beef...
High Steaks!
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
I buddy of mine gave me some flour made from ancient grains. Now I swap small bags of it for baked goods.
I get pie with a little spelt from my friends!
You should always take restaurant suggestions with at least a grain of salt, just in case they don't turn out.
Makes it taste better either way!
Lots of people are farming wheat and other grains nowadays...
What was the grain truckers favorite band?
Where do Greek chicken farmers throw their grain?
What did the the grain of sand say after it made it's way out of the oyster?
What do you call a person unaware of whole wheat, whole grain, sourdough and rye?
What do you call an Australian that will only eat short-grain rice?
So a microbiologist walks into a feed-and-grain store…
Why is grain such a drama queen?
Because it does everything with a flour-ish
Did you hear about the guy who died in a grain silo?
He couldn't find a corner to piss in...
I tried to take everything with a grain of salt...
But my doctor told me to cut back on the sodium!
I work at a grain elevator and fertilizer plant, dad joked my wife.
Wife: How's the market today?
Me: Grain is up in rows, livestock is outstanding in the field.
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