Just opened a Christmas card and rice fell out.

Must be from my Uncle Ben.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pengu_62
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Japanese brewer take fermented rice to church ?

For Christ's sakΓ© !

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kshawshank
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.

But my Brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.

I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaggie42069
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was telling my friend that brown rice is the same as white rice, but with a criminal record....

He thinks I'm a riceist for saying that.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I love Basmati rice....

I could eat it Tilda cows come home.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What does rebellious rice always do?

Goes against the grain.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConradFlick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
So the other day I ordered some Kung Pao chicken, but I think it came with a side of pasta instead of rice

Orzo it seems

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebobstu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I almost made a huge mistake applying to Rice University.

I'm really a meat and potatoes kind of guy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jdmpersson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who only eats white rice?

Ricist

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jagginfiniti
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Have a Rice Day!
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncaged-bird
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The Mafia killed a man in a rice field because of a dispute over a small trinket

It was a knick-knack paddy whack

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Selena’s New single, Rice Cream
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AJSaporno
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.

The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeGuy1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Tennis player Sampras needed rice wine and sent me to buy a bottle without giving me cash...

For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said she prefers brown rice

That’s just riceist

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EdBlamey
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My son refuses to eat rice if it in not white.

I said β€œSon, that’s ricest!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaryLightly33
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m going to start a brand of rice wine and I’ll call it for fucks.

Oh..... for fucks sake.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Briccone1979
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Just got back from the supermarket - there was a guy rushing round the shop who had brought 15kg of paella rice, 5 cases of tequila, 8 sombreros and 12 piΓ±atas.

I thought to myself, Hispanic buying.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heilhanson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I Just opened a card and a load of rice fell out the envelope

It’s was from my uncle Ben

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoelandLouise
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
All rice!
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chiefyaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fried rice say to the shrimp?

Dont wok away from me!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midnighthunder0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard that Marvel is now sponsoring Uncle Ben's rice and changing the picture to Peter Parker's uncle.

The new slogan is "With great power comes great rice possibilities."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jurassicbond
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t get why minute rice advertises that it’s β€œminute”.

It’s just as small as other rice.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?

Arisotto

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/matt_read
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
During quarrantine I've really perfected how to make some heavenly rice.

I boil the hell out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enganere
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Spiderman's favourite brand of rice?

Uncle Ben's

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you know your Rice Crispies are stoned?

They go, "Snack, Popple, and Crap!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BloodyMorgan
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The girl at chipotle asked if I like white or brown rice

I told her that she’s rice-ist

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoeJascoe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I really like shrimp-fried rice.

It’s amazing how they can hold that big skillet in their tiny little claws.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullhead20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend hates brown rice and only eats white rice.

I’m dating a ricist.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/in2diep
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My son only ate the white rice and ignored the meatball and yellow lentils

I think he's ricist

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/falgony
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
And together, we will rice
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cryptkfire
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My pastor wasn’t a fan of my new Jesus Riceβ„’

He said not to take the lords name in grain.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spyro4now
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: Mom where do I find the rice in the store?

Mom: (points) you find it rice there.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/falknorRockman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice

He said it was a type of pilau.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonathanharker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the potato say to the rice

Sup-rice

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MineMinecrafft
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm sure it has been done, but chicken fried rice! Found at a resort tempenaki restaurant.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinosoares21
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
An assassin was recently hired to kill a cow in a rice field with two porcelain figures

Police say it's the first reported case of nick-nack paddy wack.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djSanta1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How are Rice Krispies able to bend so well without breaking?

Because they’re marsh-malleable.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Dredex_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I notified police after finding dozens of smashed porcelain figures in a rice paddy

They said it was the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LowInFat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally got rice in my headphone jack

Now all my music sounds Grainy

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SHZD_786
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Every time I go to dinner with my parents, they constantly argue about the mashed potatoes, rice or french fries...

And I always tell them that I'm not choosing sides.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Chicken-fried rice
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bombastic_Sushi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who beat his friend with a stolen trinket in the rice fields?

Apparently, it was the first ever case of a knick-knack-paddy-whack.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Asian_dodo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Every morning I wake up feeling like rice crispies

My body goes snap, crackle, pop

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dmharper80
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the ruler of all things rice?

Queenua

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SixSalamander
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Shrimp Fried Rice??
πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackRelish12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad got his first smart phone. I asked him if he knew to put it in rice if it got wet...

Him: Yeah and if that doesn't work, you put butter on it

Me: Butter?? Really? I hadn't heard that one. Why butter?

Him: Because if the rice doesn't work the phone is toast

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/taurus_tourist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
🚨︎ report
A hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.

The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiny_spring
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fried rice say to the shrimp?

Dont wok away from me!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report

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