Did you hear? An attempted murder was foiled due to the assailant's severe grain allergy.
The killer was found, dead to rice.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 03 2021
My Grain
π︎ 27
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︎ Mar 12 2021
My trademark for extremely small grains of rice was rejected
Not sure why. I call it "Minute Rice" and it only takes about an hour to cook.
π︎ 19
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︎ Jan 08 2021
What do you call a malfunctioning grain elevator?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Hi! What do you call a physically fit grains farmer?
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 30 2020
I was gonna make a joke about grains
But it was a little corny
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︎ Oct 21 2020
What do you call it when a grain of sand loses its trane of thought?
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Son, take the bible with a grain of salt...
... hence, don't take it as gospel.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Me and a couple of friends are arguing how to get out of the grain silo.
We're all in the same oat.
π︎ 13
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︎ Jun 28 2020
How to grain your dragon
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︎ Mar 09 2020
How many grains of salt are in a salt shaker.
π︎ 12
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︎ Apr 13 2020
The neighbour's sheep failed to break into the grain shed.
There was no battering ram.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 23 2020
I found a typo on a bag of grains
It was spelt incorrectly.
π︎ 16
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︎ Feb 08 2020
If you take grain to a granary, where do you take corn?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Going against the grain here
Chinese takeout: $15.00
Gas to get there: $1.50
Getting home to find theyβve forgotten one of your dishes...
Riceless
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︎ Feb 28 2020
What do you call a semi driver rocking out to 80s music while carrying a load of grain?
Haulinβ Oats...
π€¦π»ββοΈπ€¦π»ββοΈπ€¦π»ββοΈ
Iβll show myself to the door.
-dad
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︎ Dec 29 2019
What does the farmer say when he sees his grain has caught fire?
π︎ 1k
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︎ Dec 10 2017
I was hired to represent the hard outer layers of cereal grain in a positive light and by doing so help to increase awareness and sales.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 16 2020
Why does Darth Vader prefer coarse-grain pepper?
He hates it when it's high ground.
π︎ 34
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︎ Jan 06 2020
What do you call a whole grain thatβs zero calories but is rarely used?
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 15 2020
The paper this was printed on has a purple grain
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 04 2019
Every loaf of bread is a tragic reminder of what can happen to grain
if it doesn't become whiskey.
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︎ Nov 15 2019
Did you hear the news? Some outlaws were running from the police, ducked into Farmer Johnson's barn and stashed their dynamite in his grain. One of his cattle got into the grain and ate the dynamite. They were afraid the poor fella was going to blow up.
I think that's abominable.
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︎ Dec 23 2019
You guys hear about that grain farmer?
He could barley wheat for his crops to come in.
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︎ Jun 08 2018
A bunch of grains got together to protest.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 29 2019
Did you know during the third Reich there was a project to produce energy from a certain type of grain
I'm surprised you never heard of Hitler's rice to power
π︎ 17
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︎ May 22 2019
What did the farmer say when his grains were harvested?
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 18 2018
I build factories where grain is grinded into flour. You might think my job isn't lucrative.
But this year I made one mill.
π︎ 25
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︎ Oct 03 2018
If you found a tribe of women in a giant field of wheat, would it be an Amazon grain forest?
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 14 2018
The price of grass fed beef is higher than grain fed beef, but you wanna know what beef is the most expensive?
Weed fed beef...
High Steaks!
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 24 2018
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
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︎ Mar 05 2019
I buddy of mine gave me some flour made from ancient grains. Now I swap small bags of it for baked goods.
I get pie with a little spelt from my friends!
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︎ Mar 21 2019
You should always take restaurant suggestions with at least a grain of salt, just in case they don't turn out.
Makes it taste better either way!
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 16 2018
Lots of people are farming wheat and other grains nowadays...
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 23 2019
What was the grain truckers favorite band?
π︎ 39
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︎ Jan 13 2017
Where do Greek chicken farmers throw their grain?
π︎ 27
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︎ Jan 01 2018
What did the the grain of sand say after it made it's way out of the oyster?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 26 2018
What do you call a person unaware of whole wheat, whole grain, sourdough and rye?
π︎ 12
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︎ Aug 25 2017
What do you call an Australian that will only eat short-grain rice?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 26 2016
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︎ Sep 23 2016
So a microbiologist walks into a feed-and-grain storeβ¦
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︎ Nov 30 2014
Why is grain such a drama queen?
Because it does everything with a flour-ish
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 24 2017
Did you hear about the guy who died in a grain silo?
He couldn't find a corner to piss in...
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 07 2016
I tried to take everything with a grain of salt...
But my doctor told me to cut back on the sodium!
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︎ Apr 28 2016
I work at a grain elevator and fertilizer plant, dad joked my wife.
Wife: How's the market today?
Me: Grain is up in rows, livestock is outstanding in the field.
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︎ Apr 25 2014
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