My Grain
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︎ Mar 12 2021
My trademark for extremely small grains of rice was rejected
Not sure why. I call it "Minute Rice" and it only takes about an hour to cook.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
What do you call a malfunctioning grain elevator?
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Hi! What do you call a physically fit grains farmer?
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︎ Oct 30 2020
I was gonna make a joke about grains
But it was a little corny
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︎ Oct 21 2020
What do you call it when a grain of sand loses its trane of thought?
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Son, take the bible with a grain of salt...
... hence, don't take it as gospel.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Me and a couple of friends are arguing how to get out of the grain silo.
We're all in the same oat.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
How to grain your dragon
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︎ Mar 09 2020
The neighbour's sheep failed to break into the grain shed.
There was no battering ram.
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︎ Jul 23 2020
How many grains of salt are in a salt shaker.
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︎ Apr 13 2020
I found a typo on a bag of grains
It was spelt incorrectly.
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︎ Feb 08 2020
If you take grain to a granary, where do you take corn?
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Going against the grain here
Chinese takeout: $15.00
Gas to get there: $1.50
Getting home to find theyβve forgotten one of your dishes...
Riceless
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︎ Feb 28 2020
What do you call a semi driver rocking out to 80s music while carrying a load of grain?
Haulinβ Oats...
π€¦π»ββοΈπ€¦π»ββοΈπ€¦π»ββοΈ
Iβll show myself to the door.
-dad
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︎ Dec 29 2019
I was hired to represent the hard outer layers of cereal grain in a positive light and by doing so help to increase awareness and sales.
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︎ May 16 2020
What does the farmer say when he sees his grain has caught fire?
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︎ Dec 10 2017
Why does Darth Vader prefer coarse-grain pepper?
He hates it when it's high ground.
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︎ Jan 06 2020
What do you call a whole grain thatβs zero calories but is rarely used?
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︎ Mar 15 2020
The paper this was printed on has a purple grain
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︎ Jul 04 2019
Every loaf of bread is a tragic reminder of what can happen to grain
if it doesn't become whiskey.
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︎ Nov 15 2019
A bunch of grains got together to protest.
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︎ Jun 29 2019
You guys hear about that grain farmer?
He could barley wheat for his crops to come in.
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︎ Jun 08 2018
Did you know during the third Reich there was a project to produce energy from a certain type of grain
I'm surprised you never heard of Hitler's rice to power
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︎ May 22 2019
What did the farmer say when his grains were harvested?
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︎ Sep 18 2018
I build factories where grain is grinded into flour. You might think my job isn't lucrative.
But this year I made one mill.
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︎ Oct 03 2018
If you found a tribe of women in a giant field of wheat, would it be an Amazon grain forest?
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︎ Nov 14 2018
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
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︎ Mar 05 2019
The price of grass fed beef is higher than grain fed beef, but you wanna know what beef is the most expensive?
Weed fed beef...
High Steaks!
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︎ Dec 24 2018
I buddy of mine gave me some flour made from ancient grains. Now I swap small bags of it for baked goods.
I get pie with a little spelt from my friends!
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︎ Mar 21 2019
You should always take restaurant suggestions with at least a grain of salt, just in case they don't turn out.
Makes it taste better either way!
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︎ Jul 16 2018
Lots of people are farming wheat and other grains nowadays...
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︎ Feb 23 2019
What was the grain truckers favorite band?
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︎ Jan 13 2017
Where do Greek chicken farmers throw their grain?
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︎ Jan 01 2018
What did the the grain of sand say after it made it's way out of the oyster?
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︎ May 26 2018
What do you call an Australian that will only eat short-grain rice?
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︎ Jul 26 2016
What do you call a person unaware of whole wheat, whole grain, sourdough and rye?
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︎ Aug 25 2017
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︎ Sep 23 2016
So a microbiologist walks into a feed-and-grain storeβ¦
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︎ Nov 30 2014
Why is grain such a drama queen?
Because it does everything with a flour-ish
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︎ Feb 24 2017
Did you hear about the guy who died in a grain silo?
He couldn't find a corner to piss in...
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︎ Jun 07 2016
I tried to take everything with a grain of salt...
But my doctor told me to cut back on the sodium!
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︎ Apr 28 2016
I work at a grain elevator and fertilizer plant, dad joked my wife.
Wife: How's the market today?
Me: Grain is up in rows, livestock is outstanding in the field.
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︎ Apr 25 2014
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